And We're Backkkk!!!

It was such a nice break, but I must admit, I am glad to be back at work. I start to run out of ideas on what to do with myself. How much turkey did you guys eat? Because I'm pretty sure that after I was done there was none left in the world. Yum Yum Yum in my Tum Tum Tum!

Today's Intern: Jessica

Blabber: Gooooooooooooooooooooood Mornun!! We're glad to be back. Ravey got to see some snow, it was the winter wonderland! Woody said that coming back to this weather is like pooping backwards. It is December 1st. This year flew! The worlds oldest person, who was some lady who was 115, died. Earlier this year Kat Von D set a world record of 400 tattoos in an 24 hours, this pissed off some tattoo artist named John Joe McAnus who then did 750 tattoos in 24 hours, and then some other guy did 802 tattoos in 24 hours. I would love to be the last person to get the tattoo this day. The fat guy Manuel from Monteray lost 550 lbs. He got married, but because he was so fat, the couple couldn't have sex. To solve his problem, he had his friends help build him a RAMP to move his gut so his wife could get to his man junk. That is the hottest thing I have ever heard. There is a blanket out there with sleeves?!? I need to get on that.

News with Greg:

> Obama is going to announce 6 appointments today including Clinton as Secretary of State. Bill Clinton had to agree to a bunch of conditions in order for Hillary to become Sec. of State.

> Newsom is going to give his City Address

(which is 7.5 hours long) on his Youtube channel. It will be spit into 10 channels which 45 minute clips. Check out this HELLA EXCITING VIDEO at www.youtube.com/mayorgavinnewsom

> This Chicago couple has taken the whole "don't have sex until your married" thing WAYY far. This past weekend they had their first kiss....at the altar. Their kiss lasted 2 minutes...how awkward would that be to be sitting it the pews for the wedding while these people kiss for 2 minutes.

Ravey has our Sports:

> Giants receiver Plaxico Burress accidentally shot himself in the right thigh while at a Manhattan nightclub early Saturday. He claimed he was carrying a gun because he was wearing a lot of "bling" and carrying a huge wad of cash. The gun slipped down his leg and he accidentially pulled the trigger some how. (just fyi, Ravey read this story with the back ground music of In Da Club - 50 Cent.... haha)

> 49ers defense acutally showed up this weekend.

> Raiders kept sucking and lost to the Chiefs.

> Giants are still the best team in football.

> Chargers just suck and they lost to Atlanta

> Vikings crushed the Bears

Who Friggin Cares:

> Kelly Osbourne is engaged. How do we know?! Her 18 year old boyfriend changed his profile status to "Engaged to Kelly Osbourne"

Music and Entertainment Report:

> Twilight lost 62% of its business this weekend

> Bolt held strong this weekend

> Kristen Stewart was caught on camera smoking a bowl in front of her house.

> Dr. Pepper is causing huge problems and is facing law suits because of their promise of free soda. Guns N Roses is pissed because the whole let down tainted their Album relief

> Rosie O'Donnell's variety show was a crap shoot.

> November sweeps is over, so they will be serving us repeats tonight

Final Word: Reese Witherspoon, she limits her present giving on Christmas, "I'm a little strict about that stuff, and I think that kids do best when they only have a couple things that they really enjoy."

Greg has a Great Thanksgiving Story For Us: Greg went to a friends house for a post Thanksgiving Fiesta. He walks goes to the door, knocks, walks in the house, and the friends dog...LUNGES at him and bites him in the crotch. He first noticed that this dog bit through his jeans and his underwear is soaked in blood. He pulls his pants down and notices that there were 2 puncture wounds in his right testicle. He is going to let us know if he is going to lose a nut, maybe we'll auction it off.

Woody's Big Holiday News: Mr. Woody is going to be a Daddy!!! :-) The baby is due in June. Menace's only point....another California Native

Dumbass Contest: Tony-oke!!

#1. Joey in Hayward - The Theme to Bonanza No Win!

#2. Ryan in Fremont - Take me out - Franz Ferdinand Winner!

Ways to Go Green:

#1. Use cloth diapers, and re-use them over and over.

#2. Limit the size of your family...this one made no sense

#3. The more bike lanes, the more bike riders.

Some guy named Nick is spraypainting dead, brown grass...green. That's right. Is your grass dead? Call Nick, he'll coat your grass with paint for a reasonable price.

7 Most Retarded Things that Celebs are doing to "Go Green" (http://www.crap.com/)

#1. Al Gore - His concerts. He flew these famous people around the world in Jets

#2. Harrison Ford - Waxes his chest to save the rainforest.

#3. Cold Play - Planting trees that aren't helping or are dead.

#4. Woody Hearlson - Vegan Clothes flown over by Jet...idiot

#5. Sheryl Crowe - 1 sheet of TP per visit

#6. Jennifer Aniston - Brushes her teeth in the shower

#7. Paul McCartney- Got a Lexus hybrid, which was flown to him via private jet.

News Round 2 with Greg:

> Shoppers were out in full force on Friday. Police are investigating the trampled employee at Walmart. The employee was 32 years old and got trampled by 2000 people. Another person injured was a pregnant woman.

> Toy makers are getting flooded with letters from parents who are expressing concern about adds directed at children.

> The owners of a family Ball Berring company, just thanked their workers by giving out surprise bonuses. They gave out $6 million. The minimum was $10,000. They gave up to $35,000.

Guess the HOME state: A stand off at a bank is over after a person seen inside was actually a full sized cardboard figure. The police got a sounded alarm from the bank, when they showed up, they saw what they thought was a person through the blinds. They then sent for the SWAT team. When they went in they found that it was a cardboard cut out.

Justin in Union City said its New Jersey....he is....CORRECT!

What We Learned:

Ravey: The Australian Sheppard thinks that testicles are as tasty as snosages

Menace: Ravey and Menace's Mario Cart fun has come to an end due to Woody being a daddy.

Greg: Hella jobs will be opening up because Woody will do nothing as a parent. He will need a stroller pusher, tear wiper, diaper changer, etc.

Tony: Menace is the only fat Bullemic and Greg had one nutty adventure!

Woody: The chance of getting shot at a Toy's R Us and at a Night Club are equal

Katie: Nothing makes Ravey hotter than a Gut Ramp.

Tony's Just a Headline: "Holiday Fun can Mean Constipation for Kids."