You Effing C Word

Today is going to be amazing. This morning RULED. Noah's bagels was open so I bought a bagel box for us to chow down on. I got free parking. I love today.

Today's Intern: Sarahhh

Blabbity Blahhh: Goooooooood Morning! There was a story about me in the paper. Woody read it...and yes ladies and gentlemen, I meant it when I said that it was a privlige to work with these dorks. They are waiting for my sex tape to get out. And NO I haven't sent nudie pictures. Nice try though. There was this guy Reverend Right and he yells ALL THE TIME. THEEE GATESSS OF HELLLLLLL. Ravey sounds like a hard core slut right now. Dizzy Balloon won the opening spot for NSSN. Hear their cover of "My Parachute Won't Open" Here. Everyone is STOKED for Itzhak Valansky and his performances on Thursday.

News with Greg Gory:

> A military jet crashed into a San Diego town killing three yesterday. The pilot ejected right before the plane crashed and landed in a tree.

> A little 3 year old was rescued with his 2 dogs from the forest yesterday. The child had run away because he wanted to go "hunting and fishing."

> San Jose has slipped from #3 to #4 ranked safest large city.

Sports With Raspy Ravey:

> Panthers won last night

> Warriors finally ended their 9 game losing streak

> Randy Johnson needs a place to pitch next season.

> Derrek Rose was in bed cutting his delicious apple, he then cut himself with the knife and needed 10 stitches.

> Vikings won and the media went into the locker room for some post game footage. As a result they got a nudie shot.

Music and Entertainment Report:

> Dark Knight is out today

> Horton Hears a Who is out today and our very own "Man Child" is very excited.

> A documentary is out today called Man on Wire

> Milk won the Stanley Cramer award

> NBC will announce today that J-Lenno will stay with the network

> Season finale of Manswers is on tonight

Final Word: Kid Rock, who isn't worried about PETA, "My biggest extravagence is fur coats, I have one of every animal in my closet."

Random School Stories:

> A teacher is facing charges for attempting to enliven a seventh-grade discussion of slavery by binding the hands and feet of two black girls, prompting outrage from one girl’s mother and a prominent civil rights group.

> Christopher Morango was fired for conduct that was unbecoming of an officer. He was a school security cop.

> A former football coach took money out of the school account to "use for football gear", he took all $10,000 in a strip club.

FYI:

> 2008 is going to be recorded as the longest year ever because they are adding an extra second to the atomic clock....(I think this should fall in the Who Friggin Cares segment)

> Vinnie, from X men, wants to be known. If you ever see him out on the street, don't tell him that you don't know who he is, he'll kick your ass.

> The guys who play Jack Sparrow in Disneyland are lucky and screwed at the same time. All the characters were fired, BUT the reason was, the ladies kept flashing their boobs at them.

Psychic Susie Stevens is Here!

Susie Stevens has spent the last 35 years channeling on all aspects of life: the past, present and future - and helping her clients "get in touch with their souls."

Susie, who believes she "has a unique gift from God," is serious about her chosen profession, and emphasizes integrity and honesty are paramount between a psychic and client

"An ethical psychic helps the client deliver the data, both positive and negative, needed to make decisions. Anything else is manipulation."

Susie trained with now deceased astrologer Robert Cole, who considered her "to be my most gifted friend." She was a volunteer in a Santa Cruz mental facility and with Suicide Prevention for 13 years. Susie works with the survivors of domestic violence, and educates on the battered wife syndrome-work which Susie says has brought her closer to her expertise.

One of Santa Cruz's most popular psychics, Susie still has some of the same clients that she began with 35 years ago. Her success, she believes, is because, "I am very devoted to getting people in touch with their optimum potential."

Do you want to check her out?! call her at 1 (831) 475.7290

News Round Number 2:

> Same sex marriage supporters are pushing everyone to "call in gay" tomorrow to stay home and keep their wallets shut.

> There is a sushi buffet that is now charging if you leave any food on your plate.

These guys are the most mature people I have ever known. They fight over boogers.

Dumbass Contest: Are They Taller Than Tony?

#1. TJ in Oakland who hasn't been mugged yet - 0 outta 2 No!

#2. April in Daly City - 0 outta 2 No Win!

#3. David in Fremont - 2 outta 3 Winner!

What We Learned:

Ravey: The producers of Double Dare could have stopped a starving country.

Menace: 92.7 will be dead air tomorrow.

Greg: LWill never have a dream ranch in montana but will own an orphanage

Tony: Cant wait for dean to play with Jamarcus Kareem Garcel Fife.

Woody: Dave, Ravey, and Greg will not be at work tomorrow.

Katie: With the exception of Ravey I work with a bunch of Man Children who fight over boogers.

Tony's Just a Headline: "Woman Hurls Shoe in C Word Arguement."