....GET OUT OF MY WORK PLACE!!!!

Just got back from the bucks! Miss Jen is here for Ravey, she'll keep these boys in line. I also have a blueberry scone right here that looks delish. Oh and by the way in case anyone forgot...Its Friiiidaaayyyyyy! wah.

Today's Intern: An-to the-drea

AM Jibber Jabbering: Gregs hella bummed that not only it is Friday, but it is a 3 day weekend. Everyone be on suicide watch for Greg. Woody is 99% sure that Metallica is going to COME IN next week. hells yeah. We'll also have a hard 8 minutes with Nicholas Cage. Jen is claiming she's been a raging bitch and she's losing her mind. It will all be better after the wedding. Joey Chestnut broke his own record. He ate 10 lbs of Ribs in 12 minutes. Jesus. Woody loves ribs but he always craps his brains out afterwards. Menace is our very own competative eater. He claims he can eat 10 Baconators in 2 hours. Sean Johnson, Paul Hamm, Morgan Hamm in an Ortega Commercial - Ortega Sauce "It makes my taco pop" and " beat that bro" -- Sidenote: Woody spits great loogies and looks at them. Jen doesn't spit, this resulted in a pervy moment. British bride to be was hospitalized after swallowing a 1 inch nail that was in her macaroni. Greg then fantasized the "Human Nail Gun" if she farted it would rule. Menace's kidney stone was the size of a "pramagranate seed"

This Week on The Woody Show, tickets to The Treasure Island Music Festival @ Treasure Island :: Saturday-Sunday 09/20-09/21!!::
Continued: We covered my car getting towed and how I'm a total moron. Then we talked about how girls only have to say "Daddy...??" to get what we want. Whatever, you guys are just jealous. Humans suck.

Emails From the Peoples (Menace is jumping out of his chair about this):
**Menace pitched a fit to have Woody read it because he cant read**
> Someone emailed Menace about having the show be Mitchell Brothers lap dance contest judges. Everyone is in. Lets Do This. This sparked a Mitchell Brothers talk of how gross it is. Hella dirty. This then sparked a huge Woody / Jen / Leash Discussion.
> Danny - A 911 call that reminded him of Menace
> Cameron - says we're the highlight of her morning. Wants to know our opinion about the democratic debate in november...which is when elections are.....which even if they were in november....they haven't happened yet....which brings me to my next question....how would we have an opinion on a debate that hasn't happened?
> Email from a pissy listener named Joseph...who we lost.....wah.

N- to the - Ews with Greg Gory:

> Good times in Denver: Obama accepted the nomination for Pres. last night. He promised to put an end to the EVIL of the Bush admin. wah. He also promised to end the war. The lines to get in were 6 miles long.
> Hurricane Gustav is going to hit soon with winds of 111 mph. holy crap.
> In Italy, in a museum there is a statue of a crucified frog. People are pissed.
> A guy propsed to his girlfriend and he released a bunch of balloons with candles and people called the cops because they thought there were aliens. idiots.



Sports with Jen:
> Giants had the day off. Taking on the Reds.
> Raiders are in Seattle for final preseason tonight
> Adam Jones is clear to play with the Cowboys

Dumbass Contest: How well do you know your country:
#1: Blake from Los Gatos - No Win
#2: Jay from San Jose- No Win
#3: Matt from Pleasanton - Winner! Finally. This didn't go well.

List of things and people that have annoyed Woody this Week:

1. Tony is the first one
2. Screaming child on the airplane-- its between the child and parents
3. Shoe laces in his shoes. They are like 3 feet long on both sides. Dumbies. Menace claims he's wearing them wrong, that he needs to poof the tounge.
4. A cashier at the Safeway. Hates that when they ask you to donate, and you say no, and they respond with "are you sure?" WELL DUHHH
5. Drippy Douchebag. At the gym "Crunch" there is a guy who works out 3 times a day shows up at the gym everyday dripping wet. Gross.
   

New Band Woody Approves of: Hollywood Undead

--Mike in Livermore had a dream about The Woody Show. It got sexy...--

I missed Music and Entertainment...sorry everyone.

6 Celebrities that Shouldn't be Celebrities:

1. Everyone on the Hills
2. The Girls Next Door
3. Tori Spelling
4. Kim Kardashian
5. Tila Tequila
6. Nick and Brooke Hogan

We Added: New York, Jared from Subway, Paris Hilton, Verizon guy, Ryan Seacrest, and I'm adding Ashley Simpson.

Newwwws round 2:

Just moments ago John McCain chose Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin as his running mate.

OJ's daughter kicked his ass the other day. She pushed him into a glass cabinet.

Bernie Ward has been sentanced for distributing porn of children.

Male enhancement pills don't work

Talk about the Egg Roulette Video

Incase you didn't see it here is the hilarity

http://www.live105.com/pages/2863206.php

Movies with the Hat Lady Jan:

> House Bunny gets no hats. It was a horrible movie and its a bunch of dumb girls.
> Trader - its riviting and fabulous.

Woody Has Bad News: David Beckham and Victoria Beckham were NOT in a car accident last week. Then I heard a bunch of chicks screaming at the top of their lungs...annoying broads.

Friday Song Challenge:

> Tony : Linkin Park & Chris Cornell - Crawling WINNER!!

> Greg: Kanye West - Flashing Lights 21.3 %

> Menace: Van Halen - You Really Got Me 18.3 %

>Woody: Def Deppard -Pour Some Sugar On Me 11%

> Jen: Ataris - Summer 14%

:::WOODY SHOW IS OFF MONDAY, BACK FOR TUESDAY AND WEDNESDAY, BUT THEN WE ARE GONE UNTIL SEPTEMBER 17th!!:::

Caca....

Not only was it hella hot last night, It was 80 degrees on my way here. 80 degrees...at 4:30AM....craziness. I forgot to cut out the security tag on my shirt, it itches, and I can't find any scissors. crap.

Today's Intern: Mike and Ike

Talk talk talk talk: Tony right off the bat was captain cranky pants. Super excited that today is Thursday, because that means tomorrow is Friday. Ravey is already in vaca mode because she is off tomorrow. Ravey is part of "White Trash Tour '08". Woody isn't nervous about the wedding yet. Probably because Tony and Woody are Ro-bots. Jen will be in for Ravey tomorrow. Greg has saved a triangle of cake from his wedding that has moved with him 3 times. Girl on the rag+ wedding right around the corner = psycho chick. Hella wedding talk. Jen thinks she's losing her mind. Ohhhhh holy crap. Menace still doesn't know what he is going to wear to the wedding. Jen's going to flippppp. Bride-zilla talk. Ravey needs to know NOW who she is going to be sitting with and it better be written in a damn good font. Menace would consider going gay but the sex hurts too much.

THIS WEEK ON THE WOODY SHOW: TICKETS TO THE TREASURE ISLAND MUSIC FESTIVAL @ TREASURE ISLAND :: SATURDAY-SUNDAY :: SEPTEMBER 20-21!!

--Dumbass Contest Idea: Will it flush with Greg's old wedding cake. Or sling shot the cake down the street and see if it breaks the window of a parked car--

**Most retarded text of the week: From the 707 - "quit effing snorting Woody, you Howard wanna be" -- He then responds to Woody by saying "Howard snorts, You snort. Howard gets married, You get married." TARRRRRDDSSSS.**

Stories of Some For Reals Sick-o's:

> Utah, a man known as "diaper boy" was arrested for showing the diaper he is wearing to children.

> Florida, 18 year old lost custody of his dog because of signs of beastyality. They also found videos of little girls having sex with older men and him having sex with the dog. The boy claimed that it only happened once but the mom claims that he has done it 4 times. Its simple....keep penis out of dog.

Hella News-y News with Greg:

> Denver - 3rd night of DNC. Bill Clinton gave a speech. It took him about 10 minutes to get the crowd to shut up because he was SOOOOO cheer worthy. Biden took the opprotunity to slam McCain. Duh.

> There were ads for Obama's campaign on rock radio stations. The ads were pulled due to their appearance next to racey topics such as "Thong of the Day" and "Chicks on Toilets"

*This sparked a huge talk on chicks on toilets*

http://www.hotchicksontoilets.com/

> Baby boy in Bangladesh born with 2 heads and had been under police guard due to 150,000 people who wanted to see him.

> According to Zaggit. Best tippers are from Phillidelphia.

Sports

> A's actually won

**Callers started calling and I couldnt hear it. Like I can keep up with her anyways...**

Happy, Happy Story:

::Charlotte, police said a man and his wife left the keys and children in the car. While the woman went to get the spare keys, the man went up to the appartment to get a knife to pry the window open to get the kids out. When he was going back to the car, he fell down the stairs, landed on the knife, and died. YAYYYYYYY!!!::

Wheel of Topics: Stupid things people blow $$ on

> Tom Brady - $11,000,000 on land--no house....just land.

> Menace-
> Tony - Bought really good seats to Lenny Kravitz show and hotel for a chick. The girl bailed. So Tony took a girl he didn't even like and banged her because it was $16 bucks for a night.

> Callers with stories of buying cars, sex excursions, child support, etc...

> Greg- bought a 3 stone ring for a 5th annaversary

> Ravey - A guy bought her hockey tickets on the glass.


Music and Entertainment Report:

> Kid rock said that he dropped out of a music festival because he was sick, but the real reason was because the people there "treated him like F"

> Kid with a code name "squirrel" leaked 9 Guns and Roses songs. He was arrested and may be facing charges

> Michael Phelps is hosting the 34th premiere of SNL, and will be introducing Lil Wayne.
> NBC's coverage of the olympics had 214,000,000 making it the most watched event in TV history

> ABC is pushing pies to promote "Pushing Daisies"

Final Word: Spokesperson for Hillary Duff says she's not engaged

Sexy Time Fun Facts:

> Text from yesterday from the 925: Went on a break with the boyfriend, had sex with another guy, and now misses the boyfriend and wants him back.

*Ravey and Menace throw down--hilarity-- Ravey has nothing to say other than Menace sucks*

> Teens are taking Abstinence Pledges- 42% who said it but didnt pledge, had sex w/in 3 yrs anyways. Only 33% of people who took the pledge ended up having sex.

> Ron Jeremy- has been with thousands of women. Says that Viagra is the key.

> Don't take Viagra when you have Hemorrhoids.

Tony Siting: Tony -1 Madden-0

Sexy Time Fun Facts Part 2:

> Hetroflexable - Girls who swing and kiss other girls. Blamed on Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl"

> Border Patrol Agents are going to start seizing products that claim enhance, stretch, and add recreate naughty parts.

Dumbass Contest: Super Horny Japanese Ravey

Intern said provocative phrases about Ravey in Japanese

#1. Michelle in SF - Durrrr.....Effing Moron...good god.

#2. Don in Castro Valley - Chose C Ravey gets horny around Homeless people.

Menace's picture with the make up made us all cry with laughter.

Sorry the pic is such bad quality...but hell, you get the idea.

Newsalicious News with Greg:
> Del Martin - 87 lesbian rights activist. Died yesterday.

> New pole- Says Californians oppose PROP 8

> Girl got removed from her checking position at Abercrombie and Fitch because she didn't meet the physical requirements. She got a 0 on the face test.

> Woman misunderstood instructions and ended up riding the convayer belt at the airport instead of putting her luggage on there.

Crap on Celebs:

> Shug socked his girlfriend in the head, and when she jumped out of the car, he went after her and chased her. Crazzy

> Matthew McConaughey Dad died during sex and his mom wrote a book about it.

> DJ Sam Ronson is writing a book. Lindsay Lohan's dad is pissed saying that she is using Lindsay.

> Seinfelds - Ruth Cohan died of a heart attack

Crappy B-Days

> Leann Rymes - 26

> Jason Presley - 39

> Jack Black - 39

> Jennifer Coolage - 53

Porno B-Day : Taylor Wade - 40

What We Learned:

Woody: From Tony that Friday is the day that comes after Thursday.

Tony: Greg refuses to flush a piece of cake

Ravey: Menace is prettier than her with make- up

Menace: Ravey is taking the white trash tour for rock band

Greg: Menace's hero is the late great Tammy Fay Baker

Katie: Tony learned that chicks sit to pee and Menace's weiner broke in the 89' quake.

Tony's Just a Headline: Dad Chops off Son's Hand in Banana Fight

Guess What? Chicken Butt....

This morning wasn't too eventful. The most exciting thing I guess is I stopped at the AMPM (Where you can get way "too much good stuff" by the way) and got a GIANT Redbull.... Can't wait for the crash afterwards....

Today's Intern: Miss Lauren from Sac Town

Talking Early in Zee Morninggg: Some music talk, the opening song we played put Tony in a fabulous mood. We also learned that Tony should never take up a career in rap. Menace was up all night with stomach pains. :-( Woody says that Tony can buy a place by Yerba Buena Island for $200,000. The catch is?? No bedroom or closets and it's about the size of 7 ping pong tables. Good investment Tony....go for it. The only people who would buy that are A. Someone who is only there to sleep, and nothing else. B. Someone who is having an affair. Some dude with a dog named Elvis who is a pampered "bioootch", threw him a $10,000 BARKmitzvah. Really???? Greg has dog shoes for Rex. Ravey has no patience for people who baby talk their dogs to cross the street. Jim from Sunnyvale calls in and tells us about how when he was in construction a man asked him to build a 4 Bedroom dog house to match his ranch style home. People never cease to amaze me. The guy who was going to do the "Miss Sister" contest came out and said that he had no intention of "putting nuns on the cat walk." and that the pageant is off. I personally was excited to see that there were actually hot nuns in existence. damn. We also realized that Ravey wouldn't dyke out with a hot nun anyways....they are already married to Jesus. The search for the IPhone continues. Apparently Apple was paying actors to stand in line for the Iphone. This seemed to break Menace's heart. We also learned that Apple signed up with Madden and Jared--Bummmer. Top Signs that you are in San Francisco- 1) All stores are out of Lighter fluid and American flags 2) Streets are filled with people shaking who got hit by Prius' 3) There is a man getting beat up for putting paper in the glass only bin

4) Nothing is getting done 5) People are scooping leftovers into Al Gore bags. (not getting this last one)

THIS WEEK ON THE WOODY SHOW--WIN TICKETS TO THE TREASURE ISLAND MUSIC FESTIVAL @ TREASURE ISLAND ON SATURDAY AND SUNDAY SEP 20-21!!

News Comin at Cha -
> All eyes were on Hillary last night at the Democratic National Convention. She endorsed Obama...no ish. She also released her delagates to him. McCain was condemed by Bob Casey for his plan for off shore drilling. It was basically a McCain slam fest. Hillary's key quote with her soothing delivery--"No Way. No How. No McCain." This quote is going to be Gregs new tattoo. I hate this woman. Greg has also released his idea for the invention of the "Yes We Will" alarm clock. Sales pitch--"It Could Wake the Dead!"

> In Herald, TX--Teachers are now allowed to carry guns.

> Campus Security noticed a stumbling 18 yr old who when they breathalyzed him he blew a .063 and claimed that it was because he was kissing a girl. Idiot. He was cited for underage consumption. The new thing is the breast test-- in which the girl will be motor boated and if the officer can still breath, she gets a ticket for having small boobage, BUT if the officer can not get air, she will be sent on her way.

Sports with Ravey-

> Colorado Rockies didn't have any problem beating the Giants last night

> A's haven't won back to back games in almost 2 months

> Baseball Historic event tomorrow night--Instant replay will be utalized for boundary calls. There goes the sanctitiy of Baseball

> Michael Strayhand decided to stay retired after the request to join the Giants
> LPGA is going to require its golf members to learn English by the end of 2009 or else

**Tony shares a story-- In the office last week while Disturbed song was on, Tony changed the lyrics turning it into the Bacon song. Ravey is now on board.**

Who Friggin Cares:

> One of the largest and most photographed stone arches in Arches National Park in Utah has collapsed. Ravey was the only one dreaming of visiting this place.

Emails from our Peeps:

> Mother Effin Brian - Uhh, recently got a full time job working with the.. uhhh.... morning show on 98 Rock. Its nothing glamorous but uhhhh...it gives him what he needs.
**Congrats Brian!!**

> Eric - Menace needs to STFU and wants to kick Menace in the face.

> Lydia from Ireland - Listens to the show everyday. Listens through ITunes. Thinks LIVE 105 has a cool vibe.

> Christian - Can't find our bios on the web page. Which we don't have, because no one cares.

> Wesley - Reguarding the email from Jim about the kid thing. Thinks we're great and has stayed with us in the mornings. Thinks Jims a douche and that he is the problem with our kids.
> David Titsworth - Heeee'ssss Baaaaackkkkkk. - To Tony. Thinks that Tony is all about the money and that Greg and Tony are whats wrong with this country. This guy also emailed Greg asking for a job at LIVE 105...... For reals....

$$Remember kids....Money is just a concept.$$

Dumbass Contest: Egg Roulette- 2 eggs are hard boiled and 2 are raw. Listeners have to chose eggs 1-4. Who ever choses the raw egg wins the tickets.
**Played heads or Tails--Tony is Heads because he's brilliant and Tails is Menace beause he's an Ass***

#1: Chris in Modesto- Chose egg 3 for Tony. It was hardboiled No Win.

#2: Blake in San Jose- Chose egg 1 for Menace. It was hardboiled. No Win

#3: Brooke in San Jose - Chose egg 4 for Tony. It was hardboiled. No Win

#4: Zack in San Jose- Chose egg 2 for Menace. It was Raw. Winner!!

**Menace's new nickname- "Egg Whitemenace" GETTTTTTING.***

Who Knew?!?!
> New York has the kinkiest women and Florida has the kinkiest guys.

> A group called Fight Crime - says that 60% of boys who were considered bullies are convicted of at least one crime by age 24.

> There are more than 1,000,000 people with SRED (Sleep Related Eating Disorder). This is when people basically sleep eat. If they can't find food they will eat anything - ex. glue, paper, cat food. etc.

> According to a survey - 3% of people watch TV in the bathroom. 15% (we think 90%) of people talk on the phone while doing the doodie. People are 1.5 times more likely to fold their TP rather than crinkle it.

> Tony uses a poof/lufa/girlie man shower tool. To be exact it is the Axe Poof.

> 3 in 4 people are adament that TP must come out "over the top" of the roll as apposed to the "underside" of the roll.

> 1 in 3 people are cremated.

> In order for the population to continue to grow, women need to have 2.1 kids a piece. Hispanic women are the ones most likely to have the 2.1 kids.

> Now you can buy a mobile microwave for your car. It plugs into the cigarette lighter and it's a "meal on the move" Sounds HELLLLLLA safe.

> Survey took place in England - The average woman will spend an average of 3,276 hours getting ready to go out.

Music and Entertainment Report:

> MCR posted an update on their myspace about new material- Searching for a new sound

> Ozzy is the subject of a new documentary made by his son Jack who is trying to make his dad look more real than the reality show did.

> Sad News- E has cancelled Denise Richards "It's Complicated" after 1 season.

> MTV having trouble with The Hills. 4th season premiere dropped off 26%

> Greatest American Dogs on CBS

> Hella Coverage of the DNC

>Final Word: Kid Rock talks Politics. "At the end of the day, I'm good at writing songs and singing. What I'm not educated in is the field of political science and me trying to influence people on who to vote for would be irrisponsible"

--Check out Menace Smashing an Egg on His Face!! Hilarious!!!!--

http://www.live105.com/pages/73921.php

Stories about Bosses:

> The Woody Show has a boss who calls meetings for NO REASON. For instance: Meeting Part 1. They are having a meeting today about how the weather is useless and needs to be dropped off the show. Really?? Part 2. Regarding "News and Sports" Dave wants to know why we call it "News and Sports"...because thats what it is? Oh and the sports is WAYYY to "Sports-y"

**Callers wondering if Dave's last name is Titsworth**

> Stories of Supervisors who don't do anything but pretend to do something when the "Big Man Boss" is around, bosses who send out wayyy too many emails, bosses who are computer illiterate, and bosses that sleep and watch movies on the job.

**Greg did the fastest Traffic and *****er report ever. " Weather-hot, Traffic-Crashes."**

TEXT QUESTION:

Since "News and Sports" is too "News-y and Sports-y", what should we call it??

> Spews and Norts
> Media Talk and Athletic Activities

> Make it a symbol that no one knows what it means

> Stuff and things

>Death and Jock straps

> Nizzy and the Spizzy

> N and S

*Nizzy and Spizzy is getting the most votes*

Nizzy with Greg-zy:

> Tony turned into a black woman

> Judge ok'd the Sports center in Berkeley. Woo Get those people out of those tree's. Kill them after or during the act please.

> Ear, nose, and throat surgeon in Australia is losing his licence because he allowed a girl to give him oral sex before he performed her nose job.
> Nancy Kates arrived at Oakland Airport. The metal detectors kept going off. It was the underwire on her bra. She had 2 options: 1. Allow a pat down from a female officer 2. Forget the flight. She suggested that she go to the bathroom and take the bra off. She did so, went through the detector, it didn't go off, but by the time all of this was said and done, she had missed her flight.

-Jackie talk- I missed some because I was downstairs getting Masters, but I did hear Ravey say that it is for sure that Jackie will be moving up in the Boyfriend Department. -

Got Game with Steve Masters: There are some sweet new games. A swimming game for the Wii. Mario Kart for Wii is awesome! Gears of War II out on November 7th. Marbel Ultimate Alliance is out in Summer 09. For Spore you can go and create your little creature for free! NHL 09 will be out September 9. The show learned about the Red Ring of Death on the X Box. DC vs. Mortal Combat will be out this November.

::Check out the Got Game Website::

http://www.gotgame.com/

Crap on Celebrities:

> Dr. Dre's son Andre was found dead by his mother. Mom called paramedics after she found him in his bed and was not responsive. Nothing has been determined as to cause of death

> Since Brad and Angelina are living in France they are eligable for $2600 child support.

> Desperate housewives stars Nicollette Sheridan and Michael Bolton called off their engagement.

Crappy Birthdays:

> Pee Wee Herman -56

> Sarah Chalk - 32

> Jimmy Pop - 36

> Chandra Wilson - 38

> Sergent Slaughter - 60

Porno Birthday: Harry Reems stars in 199 fine films - 61 mother effers.

What We Learned:

Woody: Learned that he may have been tricked by the phone industry and to not pick egg #2

Tony: Ravey was late for a flight due to boobage

Ravey: Only 15% of people will admit to talking on the phone during tinkles

Greg: Learned some math- If you add Nizzy, Spizzy, Norts, and Torts you get a Powerhouse report.

Menace: Thinks the show is high if they actually think that Apple hired people to stand in line

Katie: $$ is only a Concept.

Tony's Just A Headline: Racoon's Crime Spree Ends With Capture in Atlanta

And Put Some Chickens On Derre....Shooooo

Woke up again this morning at 2:30 ish. Whats the deal with that? No idea. I just can't wait to get my starbucks right now and get a jolt of energy. I've discovered that the "parking enforcers" are out to get me. Caca. My goal today: Not to get my car towed.

Todays Intern: Sarah the Super Speller

Ultra Early Conversation: Signal in San Jose, where our ratings are the strongest, is no bueno. Poll: Signal in San Jose - Rate it 1 to 5. 1 means it sucks-5 means it rules. Result: 74.5% - 5 (Rules)

Greg doesn't understand why SF doesn't like us. Ravey had a roller coaster day yesterday. Bad news and broken glasses. She turned it around by having a great Angel Sushi dinner. We also discovered how Ravey hates all interns- new and old. Greg got a creepy email from a listener who wanted the show to go to his daughters birthday, where she was trying to raise money to sponsor an animal in the zoo. Greg couldn't go because of other things going on. This particular person in the email just basically said, "Sorry you couldn't make it, but seriuosly go ahead and send us a check for $1000." Crazy? I think so. 9 ways to improve your karma: 1. take loose change, put it in a coinstar machine, and donate the money to a non-profit organization. 2. Stop talking about how your thighs are jiggly, how your hair is too curly, and face is wrinkly. Be nicer to yourself. 3. Forgiveness is the 401 Karma. Take a breath when the waiter forgets your drink. 4. Stop with the "I told you so's" 5. Limit yourself to 3 compliments a day. 6. Know the names of the people you see at least once a week. 7. Teach your kid to tie a shoe lace. Teach things that took you a long time to learn. 8. Help out a stranger. 9. Treat yourself to the brownie Sunday. Sugar helps your mood. Tony feels his karma is improving, he was very charitable this weekend.

"You never know what homeless dude is going to be Jesus"-Tony

This week on The Woody Show: Win a pair of tickets to both days of The Treasure Island Music Festival @ Treasure Island on Saturday-Sunday Sep. 20-21!!

*Muse is Huge Discussion*

Something that bugs - When a band or musician isn't on ITunes. WTF?

News Comin at Cha:

> Democratic Convention underway. Led off by a speech from Obama's wife in which she talked about her patriotism and she included a tribute to our favorite, Hilary Clinton. Kennedy followed with a speech. Obama's kids are annoying as hell. By the way. *Woody gave out his idea of the invention of the astronaut helmet that is soundproof. So when the kid cries you can't hear it. Named: Serrenity Dome*
> Authorities are looking into a 28 yr old man who had rifles, bullet proof vest, and ammo in his car thinking he may have a threat against Obama.
> Washington - Kids will now be payed $100 a month for good behavior. Kids can earn up to 50 points and be payed BY THE SCHOOL $2 for each point. What happened to the smile stickers, gold stars, and candy??

Sports News:

> A's beat the angels 2-1

> Giants lost to Colorado 4-2
> Monday night football - Chargers beat the Seahawks

> Chargers Sean Marymen - Tore his lateral ligament. Marymen is trying to avoid season ending surgery.

> Patton Manning is going to take some snaps this week. He is recovering.

>This turned into a sexual report. Sacks, labiums, etc. Craziness.

> There was a lot of laughing...including me. I'll catch it next time.

We had some random music talk. We found out that Mother Effin Brian is no longer with LIVE 105 and he is now working at a radio station in Sac Town. Claps to him! :-) Then we rocked out to some more new Metallica!!

Emails from the Peeeeeps:
> Giovanni says: Loves us! Claims we are all different with different opinions but enjoys hearing both sides. Thinks everyone is good looking. Claimed to love us 30 more times.
> Josephine says: Vomiting and tooth decay discussion. Says Greg was so wrong about waiting 30 minutes to brush your teeth. The longer its there the more damage it will do to your teeth.

> Derek says: We kick ass. Woody is a genious (haha funnnnnny..Ravey was off board at this point.) Ravey is a kick ass chick (Ravey is back on board now) , Greg is the bomb, Tony is just there but good job, and Menace is something to be "put up with"

> John says: At the Good Guys car show they saw The Bone tent--Saw Lamont and Tennelli and asked where Woody and Ravey were. Kudos John!!

> Jim says: The thought of putting a chip in a kid would make the child think that they were never trusted. Wants to know if anyone on the show is actually a "parent"

>Woody responds: "Trust Shmust. Kids are Kids" Wise words Woody.

> Jim then responds asking: Don't the parents need to earn the trust of the kids? Thinks we should stick to: chest sizes, lowest IQ, sex positions, etc.
Menace doesn't even understand why we are talking about kids, because they suck.

Dumbass Contest: The Ipod Challenge

Contestant #1: Miguel from Fremont--went 2 outta 3 for the Win!!
**We're all baffled by the fact that Menace has never heard Desperado**
Then I got put to the test and came out with the win with 4 outta 5! Gooo meeeee!!!

This was followed by a Bon Jovi rock out session. Best rock session EVER!!

Ravey's Music and Entertainment Report:

> There is a 4th American Idol judge named Kara DioGuardi...who no one has ever effing heard of.

> Where in the world is Osama Bin Laden is the latest documentary
> Out today the 2nd release of Nightmare Before Christmas

> Rage Against the Machine had a lot of crowd problems in England. They had to stop the show becasue fans were being crushed and had to talk to security.

> Rock Revolution is coming to a console near you. Sounds sickkk!!! Guitar and Drum and will allow players to create their own song.

> Batman rumor: Cher is going to be playing Cat woman next time around.

> Brittney Spears will not be performing at MTV Awards

> Hillary Clinton is featured tonight at the Democratic Convention
Final Word: A spokesman for McCain: John McCain was shown in a Madonna montage with the likes of Hitler. "It was outrageous and unacceptable"

Things that Prove that Drugs are Bad:

> Man smokes crack, sets fire to an apartment, and spits on cops when they arrive.

> Washington- At at ATM a woman dropped off an envelope with money and a bag of meth.

> Texas- Women are now slipping guys the date rape drug, and when the guys pass out the women are stealing their stuff.

> Texas- A 28 yr old got arrested for crack. When they stripped him down he reached into his crack...pulled out some crack....and started eating it. He ate it all before the cops could stop him, they rushed him to the emergency room and he died shortly after from the overdose. This was the 20th time since 1997 that he has been booked. Idiot.

> Texas- 26 yr old driving a rental truck with almost 200lbs of weed in back. Got caught for not having his head lights on. again...Idiot.

Story of a Man who is So Scared of his wife:

>This man beat the hell out of himself and claimed it was an armed robbery and broke his own jaw because he was so scared of his wife finding out about his gambling losses.

Stories of Cover Up's:

> Woody found his step dad's porno,but before he looked through it, he took a hardcore mental picture and would go to extremes to make everything JUST as it was.

> Ravey never really went to lengths to cover up. She'd just lie. In High School she was afraid of speaking in front of people and she would skip class to avoid speeches. Would hide out in the principals office.

> Menace had a friend who turned into an ultra douche who came into town and asked if he could stay with Menace. To avoid it Menace slept in the Fry's parkinglot for 2 days.

> Some stories from the listeners of running from the cops and hiding for hours, faking a drug problem to avoid getting fired, broken arms that had to fake weren't broken, faked own kidnapping, and broke the attendance bored to skip class.

> Greg would steal cigs and to cover it up would rub lemons on himself to avoid getting caught.
> Tony would take his grandma's cigs and blow it into a toilet paper roll with dryer paper and smoke into it so no one would smell it.

> I got my nose pierced and tried to hide it. and apparently I cant hear myself talk and I mix my words up. oh well. I'm a tard.

News round 2:

> 56 yr old man arrested for sexually assulting a bride's made. The girls were gettin massages and one girl came out upset and that she had been assulted. Maybe she did the booty lift move on accident.

> University of Michigan a studied showed that people who weren't in a committed relationship offered gifts or favors for sex.

> Texas- A 5 year old girl was offered up for sex.

> US Department of Health offered up some tips how to not get bullied. 1. Make friends with nice kids 2. Look into musical talents 3. Report Bullies 4. Know that home is always the safest place. These tips are like putting a sign on kids backs that says "please pick on me"

Sports Story:

> 9 year old Jericho Scott has a fastball that tops out at about 40 mph. He throws so hard that the Youth Baseball League of New Haven told his coach that the boy could not pitch any more. He was too good?? Really? Jerks....

Crap on Celebrities:

> Once again Brittney Spears will NOT be performing at the MTV Awards. Her manager said she will not be there because she is too busy.

> Diddy is really hurting by gas prices... wah.

> Andy Dick isn't facing charges for his supposedly pulling a girls top down.

Crappy Birthdays:

Chris Burke- 43

There were 2 more but I missed them! :-(

Porno Birthday: Ashley Nicole - 42

What We Learned Today:

Woody: Jesus sells like nuts and that 98 rock is hiring Mother Effing Brian means they will hire anyone.

Tony: Ravey is going on a Homeless hugging spree to improve Karma

Ravey: Madden woke up in a cold sweat when he heard the show playing Bon Jovi

Menace: Learned what a back pocket is and learned about Desparado.

Greg: To get booted from a sports league all you have to be is be too good.

Katie: I should be nicer to homeless people considering that one of them is Jesus

Tony's "Just a Headline": "Man Nearly Drowns in Mowing Accident"

Blog-o Numero Uno

My alarm went off (or so I thought), took a shower, decided to check to see how much time I had to get ready only to find that it was 2:15...got to love that. Menace has already threatened to beat my ass (joking). This is going to be an awesome day and a great week. I can feeeeeeel it.

Today's Intern: Miss Jessica

Early morning chit chat: We're late, oh well. No one is excited except Greg because its Monday!! Outside Lands was nuts and a complete mess, people knocked the fences down and Menace got stung by hornets. Ouch. Live 105 had a drawing for employees for Outside Lands tickets. Winners: Madden and Miles. It was total shenanigans....apparently if you miss the deadline you have a better chance of winning around here. Paul from Sunnyvale called in, won tickets on Madden's show and ended up selling them for $400. The Olympics are the reason that the past couple weeks have gone by so quick....I guess.

THIS WEEK ON THE WOODY SHOW WIN TICKETS TO THE TREASURE ISLAND MUSIC FESIVAL ON SATURDAY-SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 20-21!!

Ravey's Weekend involved "shedding" tears and got the title of worst weekend ever because: A. The Olympics ended and B. Outside Lands was chaos and her hip hurt. Tony says: "wah."

Lets get some Olympic Coverage!!:
> David Beckam made an appearance at the Olypics and kicked soccer balls off a double decker bus...totally liability problem
> 2012 is when the excitment begins next time around.
> A fighter got pissed that he got disqualified so he kicked the ref in the face. His coach got banned for life. haha this makes me laugh
> Cry baby wrestler who threw a fit was right? His beef was totally legit and it cost him the medal. Stupids.
> Aside from the opening murder to the olympics, everything ran pretty smoothly....
> Woody is still jealous of what phelps eats everyday
> That volley ball chick wears that tape for about 100 reasons.

Sexy time Fun Olympics Fact:
> After the 100,000 condom hand out - less than 1/3 of them had been used by this Saturday. In previous olympics they have been known to "blow through" (haha pun...totally intended) 130,000 condoms. Dahts a lota sex.
> Men think that gymnists have the sexiest outfits and 2 & 3 men think that gymnists would be the best in bed.

News Comin' at ya:
> Obama chose his running mate, Senator Joe Biden. Luck-eeee. They made their appearance on Saturday and showered eachother with compliments. No homo.
> Italian priest is going to organize an online pagent for nuns "Miss Sister"... Woody wants largest bush competition. Gross. Starts next month on a blog where you can view the nuns profiles. Hawwwwwwwwwt.
> 25 yr old in Bang-la-desh went into a pond to be blessed. Little did he know that it was a pond full of crocadiles where he was grabbed and pulled down and well....died. duh. I missed who said it but apparently someone said that the crocadiles are usually nice. Like puppies giving children kisses on their cheeks.

Sports Round 1:
> Olypics over. US on top with 110 medals. China had the most golds. First time since 1936 that someone other than US or Soviet led with gold
> Giants swept Padres over the weekend
> A's ended splitting their 4 game series with seattle
> This segment is really hard to follow. I'm tryin I'm tryin.
> New york Giants got horrible news, best defencive end tore his ACL. ouch
> Bangles quarterback Carson Palmer (sp?) broke his nose. He'll be back for the regular season.
> Raiders didnt score....big surprise

Dumbass Contest: The Nickname Match Game
Prize: Tickets to Treasure Island Music Festival! Woot Woot.
Caller #1: Jason in Richmond - No win. :-(
>Oj Simpson - Juice
Caller #2: Bill in Mountain View
>Irvine Johnson - Magic Johnson
>Dwane Johnson - The Rock ----FOR THE WIN!

**I missed some stuff here...taking winner, phones ringing. You know....*

Tony Moving Intervention:
Shouldn't move to Daily City. There are so many reasons. Primary one being that he's not Philipino.
Steven in Daily City says that it is the most depressing city ever. Winter in Summer. Car gets broken into 3 times a year at least, and insurance went up when he moved.
DON'T DO IT TONY!!!! FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS MOVE TO DAILY CITY!!!
On the other hand, Greg thinks that Tony should move because he deserves some misery every once in a while.

*Side Note : I love the new Metallica...end of story.*

Wheel of Topics:
> A one-legged hooker was killed in Brooklyn after a john hit her over the head, causing her to fall backwards out of her wheelchair and slam her head against the wall. This proves the point of "any woman can get laid"
> A California woman who escaped from a Michigan prison more than 30 years ago and remade her life as a suburban mother of three is "extremely uncomfortable" back behind bars and wants to move the case through the courts as quickly as possible
> How will prisons handle the TV switch. They are converting to Digital TV in January. Oh the horror. Convicts spend about 6 hours a day in front of the tube and the toughest inmates spend 8 hours a day.
> Florida- Police trying to find a man who attacked a club DJ. The man attacked the DJ and cut his eyes out. Needless to say, he's blind now.
> Washington woman arrested for beating up her fiance at their prenup party. WTF? Womans 12 year old son told her that she saw her fiance kissing one of her friends. The woman kicked everyone out and started socking the fiance in the face and tackling him like a football player.
*This story led to a discussion about prenups and why or why not to get them*
> To get out of an arranged marriage to a 75 year old man, a 16 year old Saudi girl drank a bottle of bleach. She still had to marry the guy, bummer.
> The rumor that Dolly Parton died is a lie. She's fine.

*Check out last weeks Non Sequiturs Podcast...one of the all time greats!!*
"Anything watermellon is sellin"

Katie's Random Update: I just cut my hand on the chair. Who gets hurt being a phone screener????? I'm such a doof...anyways back to the show.

Ravey's Music and Entertainment Report:
> Tropic Thunder #1 in the box office took in $65 million in its first 12 days, House Hunny took in $15.1 Million. hella bills son.
> Democratic national convention gets underway tonight.
> Tom Morrello has no interest getting more into national politics.
> Chris Cornell has set Sep 23 as the release date for his CD
> All networks will be covering Democratic Convention
> MTV premiers Super Sweet 16 Exile show. Good put those bitches to work.
Final Word: Director Kevin Smith says all the hype about Watchmen and he says its "astounding"

Stupid Politics Stories:
> McCain doesn't know how many homes he owns. Smartass answer to a smartass question.
> Obama launched a TV add that said that McCain is "out of touch with Americans"
> Hissing Cockroach race-- McCain-Roach won while Obama-Roach didn't leave the starting line.
> Clinton's name will be placed in the nomination during the state by state roll call. She will release her delegates to Obama...whatever that means.
> Obama leading McCain 47% to 42% in the race, but more people have viewed McCains Youtube...
> Obama's campaign says there are 8 million unregistered black voters. So they are hanging out in barber shops to "bread the word"
> KKK hopes that Obama wins as a sign that the country has lost all control
> McCain and Obama have revealed show biz favorites. Both's favorite is Batman for Comic book hero. They have both seen Shrek 3. McCain remembers back to Bambi.---There we're a few more but the phones started ringing. Apologies

Tony blesses us with this quote--"McCain, bitch better have my money"

News Comin at Cha Again:
> New law in Nebraska- allows parents to abandon children without question. Not just new bornes....you can make up your mind to drop off your kid until their 19. awesome.
*this led to annoying kid stories. Whining girl on the plane for Woody. Tony knows a girl who whines/sings when she talks...etc.*
> Authorities in Texas will be able to track kids who are skipping school because the kids will now be wearing ankle bracelets with GPS tracking devises in them. ACLU does not laik dahhht.

Woody got Greg a present: Bucket free carwash. Greg said "You can Suck it Hard" then followed by taking it with a slight sign of excitement.

Random Stories:
> Kidnappings in Mexico have increased 43%, Menace claims that the price of gas is the reason. Anyways, parents are having GPS chips implanted in their kids so they can keep track of them. I think that is a great idea. To find more check out: http://www.verichipcorp.com/

POINTLESS POLL:
Would you chip your kids with a tracking device?
52% Yes
48% Negative
According to Jennifer in San Jose "It's a Gov't Conspiracy"

Crap on Celebrities:
> Sunshine Tut and Chris Kattan has now separated after 8 weeks of marriage
> Jason Lee has a 5 yr old named Pilot Inspector and just had another child who's name hasn't been released yet. God speed to that child.
> K. Kardashian- K as in Khloe is on board for Celebrity Aprentice
> David Blane next high profile stunt is to turn himself into a real life Batman. He will hang upside down for 3 days and nights.

For Reals List for Dancing with the Stars:
Lance Bass (not dancing with a dude)
Kim Kardashian
Warren Sapp
Brooke Burke
Cody Linley
Jeffery Ross
Maurice Greene
Toni Braxton
Susan Lucci
Misty May-Treanor
Mark McGrath
Cloris Leachman
Jeff Ross
Ted McGinley

Celebrity birthdays and the Celebrity Birthday Game:
Rachel Bilson - 27
Rolly Fingers - 62
Monte Hall - 87
Bill PArcel -67
Kobe Bryant - 30
Serj Tankyan - 31
Rachel Ray - 40
Billy Ray Cyrus - 47
Tim Burton - 50
Gene Simmons - 59
Regis Philbun - 77
Sean Connery - 78
Dave Chappel - 35
*I missed a few...and some of these aren't spelled right. Myyyy bad.*
The Win once again goes to Ravey!!

Porno Birthday- Misty Rain who appeared in 299 fine films is 39

What We Learned Today:
Woody: Daily City is the new Treasure Island
Tony: Learned that prison is not comfy.
Ravey: Jesus is one lucky dude because he is married to all those sexy nuns
Menace: Mountain people are crazy and no one is getting laid in China
Greg: Hornets will kill your fun at Outside Lands
Katie: Tony didn't skip school...he just skipped classes.

Tony's Just a Headline: "Giant Turd Escapes and Brings Down Power Lines"