And You Won't Want It To Stop...Yeah.

Tony and I went to Starbucks this morning and left intern Jessica. We're dicks. Then the "cool guy" forgot to give us her crossaint. F That. We got Cranberry Bliss Bars. Yum yum Yum

Today's Intern: Jessica who we LOVEEEE

Words and Stuff: Gooooooood Morning! Woody is hating on Santa. The guys who sit in as Santa must hate their lives, and hope that they can eat a bullet. This is the only way to go: Santacon is where 200 people dress as Santa and they booze all night long. Tony wants in!! Woody is no longer invited to the Christmas party. Woody can't figure out what to get me for Christmas. I told him that with all the driving Menace around, he can't go wrong with a gas card. He then made me decide between a Bong or a Rabbit. Considering I'm not a big pot smoker, a Rabbit sounds just fine. We were then talking about a flame throwing guy, and Tardy Tony picks up the Lysol and lights it on fire in the studio. This situation made: A. The place stink and B. Menace got scared. This one is for Menace: There is a new body spray on the market. It is from Burger King and it is called "Flame". The body spray is supposed to smell like flame broiled meat. Get Yours Today! This one is for Greg: A man won the cash prize of $100,000. He won it 11 times! He ended up with $1.1 million. Greg let the fact that we are apparently living together out of the bag today. Dammit.

News with Greg:

> The Adam Walsh (John Walsh is the host of "America's Most Wanted"--his son) case was closed yesterday. Ottis Toole was the man who killed and decapatated the 6 year old boy. Adam was killed 27 years ago.

> Apple Inc. announced that Steve Jobs will not be giving a presentation at this years Mac World get together.

> Airborne is still undergoing its false advertising charges. It doesn't cure the common cold.

Sports with Ravey, "The Sanity Keeper":

> Paton and Eli Manning both voted to the Pro Bowl yesterday

> The Sharks take on the Blue Jackets

> Jerry Porter signed a 6 year, $30 million contract with the Jaguars

> The Warriors are taking on the Pacers

Emails from People:

> Evan - Was talking about how Tony chimed in with the Arab disrespect comment with the shoe throwing. He was apparently wrong. Thanks Evan!!

Ways to Insult People:

#1. In Japan - If you toss someones business card on your desk w/o looking at it

#2. In the Philipines - if you curl your finger at someone like to say come here. It can result in arrest or a broken finger. its like calling someone a dog.

#3. In India and Africa - You can't eat with your left hand because it is used only for your backside

#4. Scandanavia - Looking at the floor when you drink to a toast

#5. In Russia - using your thumb and forefinger to make and ok sign is an insult with sexual intentions

#6. In Buddhist Religion - Patting someone on the head

#7. Argentina - Being on time for a dinner date, it is a sign of greed

#8. North America - To mistake a Canadian for an American or Visa Versa

Music and Entertainment Report

> Anthony Keed is still battling his kidney cancer

> Coldplays record label has forced Youtube to remove a video clip that mashes Coldplay's "Viva La Vida " with Joe Satrianis song. The label could be concerned that the video could be damaging

> Weezer made 6 Christmas songs

> Jessica Alba will be part of the post super bowl episode of The Office

> Tonight is the premiere of Muppets Christmas

> ABC has Pushing Daisies

Final Word: Hillary Duff, disputing rumors that she likes to give lap dances: "Little old me? yeah right, I don't even know how to give a lap dance."

Segment of how KIDS SUCK!!!:

> Illinois police were able to arrest 4 teens who committed a robbery after their footprints were found in the snow. The prints led them from where the crime took place to where they were staying. Police were called after the pizza man was robbed.

> A 50 year old man who told authorities he was fed up with teens toilet papering his house decided to defend his property -- with a squirt gun filled with fox urine. Now, Scott Wagar is in trouble with the law. Wargar pleaded not guilty on Wednesday to misdemeanor assult and other charges.

>The 75-year-old grandmother was strangled, punched, kicked, bound in duct tape and thrown in the trunk of her own car by three young adults. After 26 hours without food or water, Sandy Vinge made a silent plea to God: Either save me, or let me die.
“I told God that,” Vinge, her face still swollen and marked by ugly purple bruises, recalled to TODAY’s Matt Lauer. “Then I asked my late husband, who had just died — I said, ‘Don, tell God [to] help me.’ And he did. That night he helped me. The sheriffs came and they rescued me, because I wouldn’t have lasted long.”For the next 26 hours, police say, the three abductors drove around in Vinge’s car, using her credit cards to buy gas and other items. They never offered anything to Vinge, and when she asked for something to drink because she was desperately thirsty, one of the men smashed her in the face with his fist.

> Nearly 1 in 4 kids have stolen from their parents

> 36% of teens admit they've used the internet to plagiarize an assignment

> 1 in 5 teens have stolen from a friend

Dumbass Contest: Back Your Holiday Horse

#1. Vick in San Jose goes with Ravey: No Win

#2. Will in San Jose goes with Greg: No Win

#3. Casey in Sonoma goes with Woody: Winner!!!

#4. Robert in Ripon goes with Menace (not by choice): No Win....it was hopeless from the start

News Round 2 With Mr. Gory:

> Coolest Story of the Day: The Cleveland clinic announced yesterday that the first full face transplant in the United States.

> A woman brought home 27 dogs and she got homes for all but 4 of them. She hopes to find a home for the 4 dogs....before her husband gets home.

> Last Thursday, a 34 year old guy named Charles Pernot beat up and robbed an unidentified 44 year old in Delaware. The next day, Charles, the attacker, called the victim and said he'd tell him who paid him to do it for $500. So the next day the 2 guys met up and Charles, the attacker, played a recording of a phone call between him and the victim's former father-in-law. On the tape, the former father-in-law said he'd pay the guy $1200 to beat up his former son-in-law and that he'd be throw in an extra 3 grand if he castrated him. The former father-in -law and Charles have been charged with attempted robbery and conspiracy.

Got Game with Steve Masters:

> Doctors just diagnosed a kid with a mental detachment with his Playstation.

> Daniel Petric was a normal 16 year old sophomore in highschool and like many kids his age he loved videogames. But when his parents forbade him from playing Halo 3 he went off of the deep end. First he snuck out of the house to purchase the game himself at a local videogame store, but when he arrived home his parents caught onto his little plan and confiscated the game. His father took the newly purchased copy of Halo 3 and locked it away for safe keeping in his lockbox, along with a hand gun he had to protect the household from invaders. This sent Daniel over the edge, he went into his fathers lockbox and retrieved his game, his fathers gun and then walked into the room both his parents were in and said, "Would you guys close your eyes? I have a surprise for you." When both parents obliged, Daniel opened fire shooting and killing his mother with a head shot, while his father suffered a critical injury. Daniel then tried to cover up his heinous act by giving his father the gun, trying to make it look like a murder suicide. Things didn't go his way when his sister and her husband showed up to watch a local baseball team play. Daniel told them they couldn't come into the house because the parents had just had a "big argument," his father heard this and managed to get out a scream for help to alert his daughter and her husband.

> We got to play with the headplay cinemas This thing is so cool! It does make you look like a mega dork.

What We Learned:

Ravey: Headplay can truely be an awesome thing.

Menace: He still knows nothing about Christmas songs

Greg: The Cleveland clinic is Meca and there is hope for him.

Tony: This was a mess and isn't worth typing....he was uninvited from show Christmas for this one.

Woody: How to talk to 19 year olds.

Katie: Menace should move to Argentina because being late is curtious and being on time is rude.

Tony's Just a Headline: "TV Farmer Slammed for Fingering His Chickens."