Man Children.

I sound like Ravey did yesterday. I am alergic to this season. No bueno. NSSN is TOMORROW! ohh hells yes! I'm mega excited. Oh one question. If anyone can explain to me why it was 42 effing degrees outside my house this morning, but was 49 degrees on the BAY BRIDGE...let me know. K? Thanks.

Today's Intern: Jessica

Talk Talk Talk...Keep Talkin: Goooooooooood Morning! Ravey is only a quarter slut today. The death toll is rising due to the plane crash in San Diego. 3 generations of people were killed. Story for Greg. There was a pushy New Zeland woman who pushed her husband to buy a lottery ticket and they won. Lucky bastards.

Emails from the Peeps:

> Anne - Just wants to thanks us for being a great morning show. Everyone on the show rules...except Ravey didn't get a mention so she isn't clapping.

> Janessa - Wants to congradulate Woody on his recent marriage and baby news.

Planned Parenthood is giving out gift cards .... sweet.

Guess The State: 24 year old man accused of driving drunk after he was caught doing donuts on a frozen snow covered run way. The police told him to stop and when the cops came to him, he told the cops that he had permission to test his breaks.

#1. Robert in SF - Florida....Snow in Florida.....No Robert...Sorry dude.

#2. Jared in San Jose - Pennsylvania Winner!

News with Sir Crunks-a-lot:

> All across the country people are being encouraged to call in "Gay" to protest Prop 8.

> A woman in Tennesse claims she found $97,000 in a bathroom. They were all $1,000 bills and she returned it.

Sports with Ravey who is only a quarter slut today:

> Clinton Portis is pissed about getting benched.

> Joey Porter says that the media is making Plaxeco look like he's a bad guy.

> The NFL is going to lay off 150 people

> Warriors take on the Bucks tonight

Music and Entertainment Report:

> Coldplay issued a response to the plagerism accusations. They didn't have any intention on copying anyones music.

> There is trauma on the set of Greys Anatomy.

> Paula Abdul is blaming the producers of American Idol for her coming face to face with Goodspeed, even though the girl was stalking Paula

> Shows are all new tonight

Final Word: Jay Leno, talking about his new schedule on NBC, "Origionally I wasnt going to stay with NBC, but my parents said that whatever you do in life, try to come in 4th.

Who Friggin Cares: 49-year-old John Singer of Queens is pissed about an article that appeared on the website of Centropa, a European oral-history project, wrongly claiming that he had not been circumcised. He's filed a lawsuit in Brooklyn Federal Court seeking unspecified damages, claiming that, "Centropa.org and its editorial staff have violated my right to privacy of the most intimate part of my anatomy. They have caused me tremendous emotional pain and suffering. I feel humiliated and betrayed."

Crunkin and Drunkin Stories:

> The ban on hard liquer in Belmont, CA is for events at city facilities. This whole thing blows.

> Nevada - A contract worker for a Nevada sheriff's department was accused of driving drunk to a jail to test a suspect's blood alcohol content. 53 year old Kathleen Cherry told a Carson City deputy who smelled alcohol on her breath that she had one margarita before driving Friday night. She was over the legal limit and was arrested and her bail is more than $1000

> A man from the UK killed 2 people while driving drunk and pleasuring himself. Last August 47 year old Gary Proctor of Wakefield, England was driving down the highway when he was hit by 32 year old drunk driver Imran Hussain, who was going 120 mph. Gary and his son, 16 year old James were killed in the accident and Gary's wife, 44 year old Catherine, suffered serious injuries but survived. Imran was banned from driving for 15 years and was put in jail for 8.

> In Florida, police said a mand came home to find a drunk burglar asleep on the living room floor. The man dbroke into the partment Wednesday and rummaged through the bedroom and cabinets prior to passing out. When he woke up he was so drunk he thought he was in his own appartment.

> In Florida - Authorities say an intoxicated man had his 9 year old son take him on a beer run. Cape Coral police arrested the 27 year old man. When officers stopped the truck, the man told them he was teaching his son to drive. Police say that the father's speech was slurred, his breath smelled of alcohol and he was unable to stand without swaying. There was also an open case of Budwiser in the back seat.

> In Nevada a woman was pulled over for driving drunk and pulling the gas hose and nozzle out of the gas unit. An ambulance crew spotted her driving with the nozzle coming out of her car but they couldn't get her attention .

> From Michigan, a 25 yr old literally spilled his guts to the cops. When the cops finally caught the man after a foot chase, this man puked up some crack. The man had swallowed it during the chase but felt so sick after, he puked it up. The cops pulled the contents out and he was charged with possession.

> From NY, police say they pulled 2 drunk drivers out of 1 car. Police say that the woman was trying to pull off a 3 point turn in the middle of the road. When the woman couldn't pull it off, she pulled a Chinese fire drill with the man in the passenger seat, who was also crunk. The man then completed the 3 point turn. The cops then pulled them over and they were BOTH charged with Drunk Driving.

Dumbass Contest: Completely Retarded or Dead to Real

#1. Joesph in Daly City - 1 outta 3 No Win.

#2. April in SF - 1 outta 3 No Win.

#3. Jeff in Castro Valley - 2 for 2 Winner!!

Pointless Listener Poll: What is the WORST giftcard you can get?

Stupid.com's Top 10 Worst Gifts.

#10. Pole Dancer alarm clock

#9. Dog Doo Calander

#8. How to Tie a Tie, Tie.

#7. The Obama Yes We Can...Opener

#6. Men's Underwear Repair Kit

#5. Wasabi gum ball

#4. Potty Putter

#3. Mini Guitar Hero

#2. Wealth Re-Distribution Ornament

#1. Screaming Chicken

Our Least Favorite Gift Cards:

Ravey: Giants Store

Menace: PetCo
Greg:

Tony: 84 Lumber

News with Gregamus Maximus:

> Not a good day for Illinois Governor Rod Blagoyavich yesterday. He was arrested by the FBI in his home on Federal Corruption Charges and he's accused of committing mail fraud, wire fraud, and soliciting bribes.

> A man has been Cited for bothering animals at the SF zoo after he jumped into the enclosure of a black rhino. The man wasn't identified and luckiely no animals were hurt and zoo officials say that everyone is lucky the rhino stayed mellow and didn't go after the dumbass.

> Police in Arkansas tracked down a suspected theif in the ceiling of a gas station bathroom after noticing his foot prints on the toilet seat. The gas station worker thought there was something bizarre about the guy because he walked in barefootand went in the woman's bathroom for 20 minutes. He was "on a mission to steal"

Got Game With Masters:

> Wii speak sucks

> Left for Dead Rules

> Old school games can be found at www.1980-games.com

What We Learned:

Ravey: There is no shortage of people willing to bring down the good name of alcohol

Menace: Planned parenthood gift basket is Ravey's Christmas present.

Greg: Some cameras don't have zoom

Tony: An ambulance and the setting of a car alarm sound very similar

Woody: Drinking and driving is bad but drinking driving and smacking it is worse.

Katie: Nothing says I love you like a planned parenthood giftcard and Ravey is going to get tounged by a zombie

Tony's Just a Headline: "Man Charged in Hamburger Abuse Case"