Queen of Parallel Parking. That is Me.

I just parked like a God. I got my SUV into a spot for a motorcycle. Well, not really, but kinda. I rule. End of story.

Today's Intern: Sarah the Trend Setta Super Spella.......Yeah, I went there.

Blaaabitttyyyy blah blah: Tony starts our day with a sweet comment no one could understand. And when he explained what he said, still no one got it. He has been thinking about that since yesterday. Woody got here about 15 minutes after he got out of the shower, and he wasn't shower fresh, he was more "shower powerful". Ravey is super drama and has an amazing sense of smell. CHP has issued over 20,000 tickets for this cell phone law. Yesterday Woody was driving and talking on his cell phone, he didn't even realize he was next to a cop, but when he looked over at the cop, the COP was on his cell phone. Woody was a compulsive thief. He used to steal candy and sell it to people for a higher price. A little entrepreneur. Woody must be sick, he had compassion yesterday for some lady he didn't even know.

News With Greg:

> McCain and Obama are facing their third debate tonight. Yesterday McCain claimed that Obama is mysterious and can't be trusted. Tonight is probably going to be super intense.

> Prop 8 has picked up some support. It has only been running 11 days and the polls have been swinging. Newsom's commercial that basically says "It's here to stay whether you like it or not" was super douch-ey.

> The words bride and groom have been put back on the marriage licence

Sports:

> Red Socks beat the Angels last night

> Vikings beat the Saints

Emails from our Peoples:

> David from Milpitas: Brought Ravey the tazer and is going to give us another one!!

> Some guy: Hates the show, has us on his alarm clock, and wants us cancelled. wtf?

> Jasmin: Hates commercial. Wants us to stop. Thinks Alice sucks.

***MENACE CAN'T SAY CINNAMON. DICK!!!! CINAMININUNIMIN.***

I JUST GOT STUCK IN THE DAMN ELEVATOR

Menace is about to get tased. I'm excited.

Dumbass Contest: Menace vs. Sarah Spelling Bee:

#1. Kristen in Livermore- Says Sarah Will Win

#2. Kim in San Jose - Says Menace Will Win

Spelling Bee:

First word is Together

Menace: T-O-G-E-T-H-E-R right!!!!

Second Word is Balloon

Sarah: B-A-L-L-O-N wrong!!!

Menace: B-A-L-L-O-O-N right!!

Third Word is License

Menace: L-I-C-E-A-N-C-E wrong!!!

Fourth Word is Angst

Sarah: A-N-G-S-T right!!!

Fifth Word is Lincoln

Menace: L-I-C-O-N wrong!!!

Sarah: L-I-N-K-O-N wrong!!

Sixth Word is Pigeon

Sarah: P-I-J-I-N wrong!!!

Menace: P-I-D-G-E-N wrong!!!

Seventh Word is Merrier

Menace: M-A-R-R-E-Y-E-R wrong!!

Sarah: M-A-R-I-E-R wrong!!

Eighth Word is Cigarette

Sarah: C-I-G-G-E-R-I-T-E wrong!!!

Menace: C-I-G-E-R-E-T wrong!!!

Ninth Word is Americana

Menace: A-M-E-R-I-C-O-N-A wrong!!!

Sarah: A-M-E-R-I-C-A-N-A right!!!

Tenth Word Is Scorched

Sarah: S-C-O-R-C-H-E-D right!!! WINNER!!!!!!!

Music and Entertainment Report:

> Oasis cd is out today
> Remember the Zohan is out on DVD today

> Green Day is working on their 7th Album

Final Word: Tom Delong "He was very freaked out. None of it matters when it comes to someone getting hurt. Stop worrying about what I think and think about the family"

WE GOTS BREAKFAST!! YUMMMM

Check them out at:

http://www.officecatering.net/

Phone: 415.552.7687

Hot and Cold Breakfast and Lunches

JOSH FROM OAKLAND!! YOU RULE!!!

Josh is also a DJ check him out at

www.myspace.com/deejayjaysone

209.679.5007

Cheater Cheater Pumpkin Eater:

> 54% of fathers have thought about having an affair.

> 61% of Americans think adultery shouldn't be a crime

> 17% of Divorces are caused by affair

> 57% use the Internet to flirt

> 37% have been in an explicit sexual conversation online

> 50% of men who feel that their lover is cheating....is right. ouch

News Round 2:

> This show is doomed.

> We tased a banana...nothing happened. We played with the taser a lot. hella fun.

> Ford is going to have a new feature on their 2010 models. Its called "My Key" it monitors speed, audio levels, and lets you know if the seat belt fastened.

> The CEO of Leeman Brothers was at the gym on a treadmill and gets punched in the face and knocked out cold by one of his employees.

Douche Bag of the Day: A guy was driving along and got pissed at the guy driving next to him. He decided to wave his gun at the guy and ended up shooting himself. Smart.

What We Learned:

Ravey: A "B" has more fun holes than an "A"

Menace: Still can't say Cinnamon

Greg: Menace's spelling not shocking, the fact he can take a good shocking

Tony: They just give away diplomas in the Bay Area

Woody: Ravey's sense of smell is more sensitive than Menace's Vagina.

Katie: Woody is a compulsive thief and is not to be trusted.

Tony's Just A Headline: "Testicles on the Menu of a Nutty Cook Book"