Why Witches Can't Have Babies.....Is That a Question?

I'm starting to think that I don't understand the concept of Fastrak. When you go through those, I was under the impression that I could drive the speed limit without stopping and the little thing would beep. According to everyone in front of me this morning, you need to stop in order for this Fastrak device to work. Douche Bags.

Today's Intern: Mike The Intern

Orange you glad I didn't say Banana: Goooood Morning! Birthday week on The Woody Show! HAPPY BIRTHDAY WOODY!!!! Birthday #2 goes to you!! A man in Oregon who was a suspect in a sexual assault charge went into a bathroom and shot himself. Menace is in need of "story telling class" Another story, a guy thought that the best way to get a great lap dance, was to flash a little coke. When he wanted to get a lap dance he tried to pay her with a $20 and some coke. The stripper got the bouncers and called the cops and the man was arrested. The signal in Walnut Creek / Concord area is up and running again. Looks like our bitch fest worked. Dave is PISSSSSSSED. Dave set his dial to "pissed" yesterday and you know that when he calls you "guy" you're F'ed. We're bad guys for wanting the signal to work. Doug Benson will be in later on. He is performing at Cobb's which for all of you long time listeners who remember the "GET OUT OF MY WORK PLACE" fiasco while Ralphie May was here, you'll remember this place. We had a pretty hilarious email exchange session with Cobb's. The booking manager who made the call on what comics went to what station was butt buddies with Sarah No Name. Alice then started saying that the comics were to appear on Alice only. So we decided to tell Cobb's to f off, and gave them a damn death wish and called for their heads. We basically made a deal with Cobb's, that if they fired Lori (the biotch who is buddies with Sarah) and this other guy, we'd take them back. The people we requested to get fired, did. They are hella gone, but Cobb's has one request. "Can the show stop saying things like, 'I hate Cobb's, I hate Lori, Cobb's Sucks, or their personal favorite, 'We hope Cobb's burns to the ground.' Is that possible?" Indeed, I think we can pull that off. So we won. We got 1 victory finally!! Bout damn time!!

Emails from the Peoples:
> James - Gay marriage amendment is not what you think it is. We're idiots was the basis of this email.

> David - Another "No on 8" email. I got kinda lost in this considering everyone called in at once. Sorrrry yall.

> Genentech - Wanted to share a situation that happened there the other day. Loves the show and how we stick to what we believe. Wanted to shine a light on what happened to them. Around Halloween they wanted to hang up decorations and get into the spirit. All in good fun they hung up some McCain posters that were supposed to be funny. Their boss then walked by and and claimed to be offended, but didn't say anything about the Obama poster. They then spent the day tearing down Obama posters. Doesn't understand how we put up with all that crap all the time.

News with Greg:

> Obama had his 30 paid for add. McCain doesn't think that Obama is ready to run the country. Obama had his own infomercial. sweet.

> Joe The Plumber is going to get a country music record deal out of this whole shenanigan situation.

> At the salvation store in Hawaii this girl was going to buy a tape. When she opened the tape she found 10 - $100 bills. She then turned in the money and got praised for being so honest.

Who Friggin Cares?:

> Bill Polman 's 19 year old son was arrested for resisting arrest, underage drinking, and having moon shine.

Music and Entertainment Report:

> 34 yr old actor Joaquin Phoenix is retireing. What shall we do?!

> Denise Richards' reality show has been granted a 2nd season.

Final Word: Billy Quargen talks about the orgional guitarist and origional bass players James and Darcy will ever be returning. "I can now say that they arent ever coming back. Period."

The sweetest girl Mrs. Jen Woody called in and told Woody that they are going out for his birthday whether he likes it or not. Jen has officially banned Woodys "Poopy Attitude" I love her!!!!

Dumbass Contest: Will Tony Know It? (Tony is a Retard)

#1. Brooke in San Jose - 0 for 2 No Win!

#2. Andrea in Santa Clara - 1 for 3 No Win!

#3. Mike in Oakland - 2 of 3 Winner!

Doug Benson is in the House!!!!

He was instantly pissed because the security guard is a retard. Doug is here ALL THE TIME but for some reason our idiot security guard insisted on holding him in the lobby for 10 minutes. What an ass. This ended in Menace going downstairs with his phone and asking to take his picture, Mr. Security guard flipped out. Hilarity. Anyways, Doug Benson is here!!!!

Be sure to Check out Doug Benson at Cobb's Tonight!

Thursday, Oct. 30 @ 8:00pm

What do you Hate/Love about Halloween?:

> 54% of parents wont allow their child to go trick or treating these days.

Things that kids hate:

- mints that you get after dinner

- smarties

- candy corn

- mounds bars

- circus peanuts

- malt balls

- Ju Ju bees

News Round 2:

> A doll of Obama was found at the University of Kentucky hanging in a tree.

What We Learned:

Ravey: If its marshmallow and its candy guys love it

Menace: Tony is frontin on his muppet knowledge

Greg: It doesn't have to be woodys birthday for Jen to smile like a donut

Tony: None of the props or Presidents are important but when it rains it sucks.

Woody: He'll never have a problem finding his favorite candy.

Katie: Shamwows are super absorbrent and Ravey makes kids whip out their junk for candy.

Tony's Just a Headline: "Walnut Fued Leads to Smashed Chairs.......Moseltoph"