Crunk!!

Last night The Woody Show took over Crogan's in The Creek. It was awesome and thanks to everyone who came out!!!

Today's Intern: Mike

Talk, Talk, and Some More Talk: Goooood Morning. What it do nephew, What it do nephew. We need to wake up. Mornings after the Suck It in 08' campaigns suckkkkk. Pre-Crunking took place long before the event. The car ride from Gregs (with Menace, Ravey, and Myself) was hilarious. There was a lot of yelling and attempts to not pee ourselves. We made $700 last night! Awesome! They busted me with my fake I.D. at the door. The problem was that I told the douche that I was 19 and he just kinda took it. People thought that I was Tony's wife, thanks to Woody. "Awww, congrats on the baby!" It was hilarious. Jen wants to name her future daughter Garcel. Yikes! We talked about some fat girl names. Debbie for starters, Woody says Natalie, Lisa is slutty, etc. Wendy's got all butt sore at us for giving them a crap load of FREE air time and getting people to try the Baconator. Shut up Wendy's. Sissys. Suck it hard and suck it raw. Prison officials in Florida- Web, who was in jail for having cocaine. During a search they had him lift his shirt

and they found marijuana and tobacco hiding in his fat folds.

News with Sir Crunks-a-lot:

> The teacher who got the fastest time at the Nike race but didn't win the race, finally got her prize. The story went all across the country and eventually Nike decided to give her the first place award along with the prize and they (Nike) decided to get rid of the "elite" group.

> A woman had her toilet clog up and flood. In the process she got pissed and was cursing in her own home. The off duty cop next door heard her, and got her arrested for disorderly conduct! Such B.S. anyways she filed a lawsuit and is now being paid $19,000 and the judge said that what she said was protected by free speech.

> Less than 2 weeks until the election. Obama is still in the lead and now McCain is starting to focus on Obama's tax plan and how it might actually hurt the middle class. Obama needs to shut up about Joe the Plumber.

> There is a vaccine is being recommended for smokers. This vaccine protects against bacterias that causes pneumococcal disease.

> Miss Teen Louisiana, Lindsey Evans, lost her crown because she "dine and dashed" and left her purse at the table which had marijuana in it. She was also arrested for possession. Dummmmmb bitch.

Happy Happy Story Time: This one is for Ravey. 77 year old guy was hanging out in a cemetery, just chillin, visiting where his parents were buried, when he was digging around a little bit. The tombstone then fell on him and he died. YAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY.

Music and Entertainment Report with the Funniest Lady in the World:

> Best Buy confirmed that the Guns N' Roses album will be released Nov. 23

> Dr. Pepper is going to give everyone in America a free soda on the Guns N' Roses release date.

> The original line up of Janes Addiction will be performing tonight

> The tough economic times have extended to Wisteria lane. There is a new wardrobe guideline for certain sitcoms. There is now a price range for the clothing to be worn on TV.

Our buddy Ralphie May called in so I missed the rest of it. Cry about it.

Ralphie May is in the house....well kinda.

> We love this guy, he RULES.

> Ralphie will be at Pepperbelly's in Fairfield - 849 Texas Street.

Get Tickets Here!

http://events.contracostatimes.com/fairfield-ca/events/show/85100348-ralphie-may

- Friday, October 24 @ 8:00 pm

- Saturday, October 25 @ 9:30 pm

- Sunday, October 26 @ 8:00 pm

> We had some celebration about those stupid tree sitters getting the boot.

> "Gay people aren't ruining the sanctity of marriage, that was Brittney Spears."

Sexy Time Fun Facts:

> Maia Reitano is 99 years old and a virgin lookin for love. She turns 100 in January. She's NEVER had sex. "When I was younger and I thought I was missing out, but when I got older I just said no."

Greg said it would take $5 - 10 Million.

Sex Tips 1894:

1. Keep the quantity of sex as low as possible.

2. Don't show off too much of your body.

3. Once in bed the wife should turn off all the lights and not make any noise

4. A woman should lie as still as possible, movement can send sexual hints

5. Wise wives are forever on alert for denying.

6. Men obtain a major

7. Give little, Give seldom, Give grudgingly.

I missed a couple of these. Sorrrrrrrry

Dr. Drew, The Nicest Man Alive:

>Still loves doing Love Line, but does get frustrated. Woody wants to know why he hasn't been on Love Line and why Dr. Drew hates him. Is it a C-Block?? Woody is going to go on Love Line and tell these sluts whats up. There is a theory that came from a study done that claims that a man's penis has the wedged shape at the tip so that they can scoop out things that were left from the girls previous sexual experience. *gag* Guys have a scoop. Dr. Drew wanted to vomit after this.

> The new season of Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew is going to be great. There are a lot of new people and a lot of family stories. Gary Busey, Tawny Kitaen, Nikki McKibbon, Amber Smith, Steve Adler, Sean Stewart, Jeff Conaway and Rodney King will be part of this season.

> Jesse in SF called in. He was addicted to heroin and Oxycontin for 4 years. He has now been sober for 9 months and said that the show really inspired him. Good Job and Congrats Jesse!!!!

Guess The State: Story #1 - A woman had sex with a man and fell asleep with him. Sometime during the night the man died and she stole his stuff out of the house instead of calling the police.

Line 3 - Rick in Orinda - Florida Winner!

News Round 2:

> A woman who waited 19 hours for treatment of a broken leg, never got to see a doctor, and got a bill for $152. She got billed because the nurse checked her vitals. WTF? Another guy had chest pains and also waited 19 hours, but its all good, because he went into cardiac arrest and died.

The End.