I Call Shenanigans...

I walked to the bucks with Tony. On the way back a car pulled out of the 1 free parking spot on Battery St. I got upstairs, grabbed my keys, and SPRINTED downstairs.....guess who got the spot?! MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE yay.

Today's Intern: Jesssssica.

WTF are you guys talking about?: Goood Morning! At exactly 6:00 am Hotel Lumiere called. That guy is a douche. We want Hickum the Jew fired. Now. Random question: Why is it only Asian cashiers, checkers, toll workers, etc wear the gloves?? No one knows. Tony thinks its because of SARS. Story #1. In 2006 a girl Erika, got named valedictorian. She wrote her speech, got her principal to say that it was ok. She then decided to change it, to a speech where she mentioned being a Chrisitian. The principal then told her that she wouldn't be allowed to get her diploma until she apologized. That was 2 years ago and she still doesn't have a diploma. That's insane. Woody doesn't understand how all Catholic people remember when to stand, sit, kneel, do push ups, spin around, etc. No one knows. Story #2. An Illinois woman who was super irritated with the amount of time it was taking the car in front of her to park. She started to scream and curse at the people. She got arrested for disorderly conduct. Turns out she was yelling at an elderly couple. Story #3. Out of Missouri, Delpha has 13 grand children. One of them called her for help, said "Grandma? Its your grandson." When she asked "Which one?" He said "Guess." She said a name, he confirmed and said that he was in real trouble and he needed $5000. Turns out it was a scam, this is happening to elderly people everywhere. Watch out Grandmas and Grandpas. Suck it in 08' in Fremont is TOMORROW!! Get excited.

News Round 1 *Ding*:

> McCain and Obama are having their final debate tonight. Both candidates are going to be sitting down at a table. This will be about domestic policy

> A judge just validated a $24,000,000 settlement for pets who had died from the dog food contamination. Greg is claiming that there isn't enough money on the planet to get him to kill Rex.

> Puppy story - A girl rescued a puppy from a burning pile of trash in Iraq. She wanted to bring it home but its against US policy. There is now a program where they can send animals rescued in Iraq.
> Jason from SF calls in and lets us all know that we can sell one of our testicles for $80,000. Menace and Woody actually sounds like they are considering.

Sports...Let's see if I can actually catch it this time...:

> Rays beat the Red Sox

> PacMan Jones got suspended again yesterday violating the conduct policy -- Go away already

> Cowboys made a deal to get Roy Williams

> Redskins signed Sean Alexander> Falcons owner wants to see Michael Vick back in the NFL

> Now that Kiffen has been fired from the Raiders we're just waiting for the 49er's coach to get fired as well

> Sharks won last night

> Jose Conseco was charged yesterday for trying to get a medication across the border.

Ravey's Favorite -- Happy Happy Story Time:

> During World War 2 a 12 year old boy named Herman was forced into a ghetto. While there he met a 9 year old girl named Roma who's family pretended to be Christian so they didn't get killed. Everyday Roma would throw him an apple. Herman then told Roma that he was going away and never coming back. 25 years later Herman had moved to New York and his friend was going to set him up on a blind date. The girl turned out to be Roma and when Herman realized this he proposed right there. They just celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. :-)

This was an actual happy story and no one likes dahhht.

Music and Entertainment Report:

> Coldplay is just behind Alicia Keys for having the most nominations
> The Phones blew up, some guy called and asked me what a product from Trader Joe's was called....Really? I'm not wearing my crew member shirt. I'm at my other job. Thanks.

Final Word: Collin Ferrel "Sobering up was a nightmare."

You want some sweet Woody Show Merch!?!?!?!?! Check this out!

http://www.cafepress.com/thewoodyshow

We had a huge talk about how much Greg Gory hate Hate HATES the Zod Gory stuff. We're trying to sell Zod Gory t-shirts for $100 a pop. He seems really pissed....So uh...Moving on??

Dumbass Contest: Box Office High Low

#1. Adrian in Redwood City - 0 for 2 No Win!!

#2. Mike in San Jose - 1 for 3 No Win!

#3. Jd in Santa Rosa - 0 for 2 No Win!!

#4. Patrick in Hayward - 2 out of 3!! WINNER FINALLY!!!

News Round 2 *Ding*:

> Don't even act like you're not stoked about the debate.

> We played the pie clip. This makes me laugh.

Guess The State: A group of middle school students were acting up on a bus. To get the kids to shut up she stopped the bus on a set of train tracks and refused to move until the kids stopped talking. She even threatened to get out to leave them there to die. She was fired. Bitch

Jared in Santa Rosa Got this one!! Congrats!

Got Game with Steve Enrique Alfredo Masters:

> We talked about some Rock Band Live Tour

> We talked about NBA 2009 - It's awesome, easy moving around, great graphic design, and it adapts to your level of play. Sounds good to me!!

> Wii now has something that is kind of like a phone. You can talk to other people while your Mii pops up on the screen and talks for you.

> Fifa 09' released yesterday

> Dead Space released this week.

Email from Angel:

She has never been so offended by a radio station. We are so one sided and uninformed. She is considering never listening again. For the followers of any major religion this Prop 8 goes against their morals. (Katie's 2 cents: easy solution beezy, vote yes and shut up.) Anyways, She is 24 and has many gay friends who she loves dearly. (Nice disclaimer) She closed with, "Peace, Love, and Music."

What We Learned:

Ravey: Ravey talking about playing with her plastic thing is hella dirty.

Menace: Still kneeling before Zod

Greg: Learned that he hates the 4 other people in that room.

Tony: That he can furnish his whole new house with Zod Gory Merch.

Woody: He has $160,000 in his sack.

Katie: While Masters is sitting around playing with is joystick and space whores, Ravey is thinking about how ridiculous she looks while playing with her plastic thing.

Tony's Just a Headline: "Potato Chip Trucks Crunched in Collision"