While We're Away.

The Woody Show Wishes Everyone A Merry Christmas and a Happy and Safe New Year!!!!!

Suck It!!!!!!!!!!!

Have a Merrrry Christmas!!!

It was raining like crazy this morning! I kinda liked it. Well everyone, this is the last show of 2008!! Get excited for 2009!!

Today's Intern: Andrea

Comin At Cha!: Goooooood Morning!!! Greg is so bummed out about it being Friday and Ravey is crying about having 2 weeks off. It's Dean's first Christmas and Tony is leaving his wife and baby in St. Louis so he can have a week for himself. Woody talked about plane irritations. "Please wait, we're just a few feet from the gate." He hates waiting for that....because the gate is RIGHT EFFING THERE!!! Other things that are annoying: baggage that takes forever, waiting for a rental car, when you are later on in the boarding list and they make you check your bag, and the response "we're waiting for some paperwork."


Guess The Home State: Last week Heath and Debra Cambel's son is turning 3. They went to the store to get a cake for his birthday but the problem is that they wanted writing on the cake. Their son's name is Adolf Hitler Cambel. His 2 sisters have names along the same line.
#1. Rachel in Hercules - New Jersey Winner!

Friday Song Challenge:
Greg: The Waitresses - Christmas Wrapping 15.2%
Tony: Dean Martin - Baby It's Cold Outside 22.8%
Ravey: The Alarm - Happy Christmas 7.9%
Menace: John Lennon - Happy Christmas 17.1%
Woody: Run DMC - Christmas in Hollis 36.9%


News With Greg:
> The guy who threw the shoe at Bush is saying he's sorry and asking for a pardon. He says what he did was a horrible act. This journalist may be facing 2 years behind bars.
> A Missouri lawmaker wants to officially declare Dec. 25 as "Christmas."
> New federal statistics show that 18% of United States homes ONLY use cell phones. The majority of this percentage is made up of people who are roomates.
> A guy was hit by a stray bullet in the back of his head, and he is back at work but still has the bullet in the back of his head. He sells propane and propane accessories but he says "The bullet hurts, but isn't enough to keep him from his job." The doctors said to not have it removed unless it is hurting him or hitting something.

Ravey has our Sports:
> The Sharks lost to the Redwings 6 -0
> The Colts beat the Jaguars
> Giants play the Panthers on Sunday
> Stealers play the Titans on Sunday
> The Jets, Dolphins, and Patriots are tied in the AFC East
> Raiders play the Texans
> The 49ers play the Rams
> NASCAR has settled the lawsuit with one of the employees. She claims that she was sexually harrassed and discriminated against. 2 other people got fired a long with her.


Happy Happy Story Time: This one is about a 60 year old Japanese man who was at a party celebrating his retirement. The group picked up the 60 year old man and threw him in the air, like saying, "hip hip hooray!" problem is they couldn't catch him. He fell onto the floor, suffered back and neck injuries, suffered respiratory failure, and then died.

Music and Entertainment Report:
> The new Will Smith movie is getting mixed reviews
> Yes Man isn't getting good reviews
> The Day the Earth Stood Still is still getting bad reviews
> Jeremy Piven's doctor thinks his elevated mercury level might be because of Piven's love of Sushi
> Eddy Murphy will not be joining the Batman cast
Final Word: Jim Carey on a project that got away from him "Meet the Parents is something that I created, and the Fockers. Ben Stiller was great."

We are doing our Favorite songs of 2008:
Woody: Paper Planes - MIA
Ravey: Viva La Vida - Coldplay
Greg: Better - Guns N Roses
Menace: Electric Feel - MGMT/Justice
Tony: I'm Not Jesus - Apocalyptica Ft. Corey Taylor
Katie: I Kissed A Girl - Katy Perry





Weird and Random Animal Stories
> A woman was selling pierced kittens off the internet. She had a basement where she would groom basically goth kittens.
> A woman over seas somewhere had like 1500 parakeets in her apartment
> Out of Illinois, a woman had rabbits over her house, 69 to be exact in her 1 bedroom apartment.

Holiday Stuff For Ya:

6 Holiday Myths That are Total Crap:

Sugar doesn't make kids hyper.

Suicides don't increase during the holiday

Pointsettias are toxic

You don't lose more heat from our heads than any part of our bodies

People do not gain more weight around the holiday.

Ask The Woody Show: Nate in Petaluma - Where do you guys stand on Christmas Carolers? My girlfriend calls me a downer. I hate them, but how do you guys feel about them?

Ravey: Its Awkward

Woody: Doesn't like anyone coming to his door unless its the UPS man with presents

Greg: Hates it when his phone rings let alone when the door bell rings

Craig Gass is Back!!

He will be at Slims on Dec. 20 at 7:30 and 10:00 pm
Show is 18 and older only!
Want Tickets?? Get them HERE
or call Slims at 415.255.0333

www.myspace.com/craiggass

Dumbass Contest: Dead to real or Completely Retarded

#1. Jeffin San Ramon - 0 for 2 No Win
#2. Daniel in Vallejo - 2 for 2 Winner!

Best Gifts to Get Your Guy, According to Cosmo:

We're determining whether this is legit.
#1. Poker Set No

#2. Stub Hub Gift Certificate No

#3. Swiss Army Knife No

#4. A Hot Sauce of the Month Membership No

#5. A Bathrobe No

#6. Universal Remote No

#7. The Godfather Trilogy

For the person you love who really enjoys caca, They are making Christmas ornaments out of Raindeer poop. only $4.99

Top Ten Christmas Gifts:

#10. Ipod Classic

#9. Panasonic Chordless phone

#8. Tom Tom

#7. Ipod Touch

#6. Blue Tooth

#5. Garmin GPS

#4. Ipod Nano

#3. Wii

#2. Wii Fit

#1. Cannon Digital Camera

Jan Wahl and Her Hat Are Here:

> Jan and Al Pachino got in on back in the Jesus days.

Jan's Top 10:

#10. Sex in the City

#9. Defiance

#8. Cadilac Records

#7. The Visitor

#6. The Boy in the Striped PJ's

I missed the rest of this....

Porno Birthday: Jen X has been in 35 fine films "Bone Bone", "The Second Cumming", "Schindlers Fist" she is 36 years old.

Crunkin and Junkin and Drunkin and Dunkin

Last night was a freaking blast! Today is going to be a long day but it should rule! Starbucks has never tasted so good!

Today's Intern: Mike

You're Going To Like It A Lot: Gooooooooooooooooood Morning! It feels like Friday, but it's hella not. We had the show Christmas party. Ravey made a delicious buffet last night! She made turkey sliders that were wonderful! Menace was and still is bitching about how hot the turkey sliders were. Menace puked last night. He kept drinking and drinking, then he went out after, and then he puked. He had a strong drink at the bar and puked on Market, then cleaned himself up at a place where his ex-girlfriend just so happened to work. When Menace drinks he starts making booty calls. Menace got Woody and me Iphone battery cases. They rule! There was a story on NBC: some dude got his iphone stolen and he had a app called mobile me. Mobile me connects your phone to your computer and basically backs up his stuff. The next day he got a brand new iphone...later in the day he started noticing unfamiliar contacts showing up in his phone. The theif who took his phone was programming his own information into the phone, but because of the mobile me app, it was now showing up on the NEW iphone. The guy called the cops, they tracked down the phone and the theif, the theif was arrested, and the guy got his phone back and got to sell the brand new one on ebay. A man in Canada is sueing the mother of his child. He doesn't think he should have to pay child support because the woman had sex with him during sleep. Not buying this. Basically this morning's topic was Women are the Devil. End of story.

News with Greggels:

> In Atlanta a woman was arrested for not taking off her head scarf when going through security. She may spend up to 10 days in jail.

> A baby was born with a mass in its brain. When it went in for surgery to remove the mass which they thought was a tumor, they found a fully developed foot. Gross, see it here.

> Last August, a woman from Phoenix named Rosemary Alvarez started experiencing blurred vision and numbness in her arm. She went to the doctor and was diagnosed with a brain tumor. When Rosemary underwent the knife to have the tumor removed, her doctors didn't find a tumor at all, they found a worm that was LIVING IN HER BRAIN. The doctors removed the worm and Rosemary is doing fine. Question is, how the F do you get a worm in your brain. The doctors said there are 2 options: 1. Eating uncooked pork and 2. Eating food that was preparted by someone who didn't wash their hands after using the bathroom. Gross. Check this out.

Sports With Ravels:

> Warriors lost last night. duh

> Tiger Woods had a press conference last night about his knee surgery. He is ready to return to golf

> Lisa Davenport is going to have a baby and is off the tour indefinitely

> Pacman Jones was back at practice yesterday.

Attempt #1 at Douche Bag of the Day: A man spent $7500 trying to fight a $115 ticket. He said that he was given the ticket unfairly and he is going to fight the hell out of it. This isn't a very good one.

Attempt #2 at Douche Bag of the Day: A traffic agent gave Santa a traffic ticket the other day. The Santa was stopped in the street in a horse drawn carriage handing out candy and toys. The ticket was given to the SUV that was trailing the carriage. The ticket was $115. This traffic agent is the Douche Bag of the Day.

Music and Entertainment Report:

> Jeremy Piven (who Woody is gay for) quit his Broadway play because his doctors told him to. They found a massive ammount of mercury in his system.

> All the cool people set the penis' to boner. check out http://www.funnyordie.com/

> Million Dollar Password

Final Word: Brad Pitt, explaining that he and Angelina don't go overboard with their kids at Christmas: "The kids dont ask for the big gifts, because they don't see all the American TV that show the huge toys. We figure if they don't see them, they won't know that they are in existance."

Attempt #3 at Our Douche Bag of the Day: John Walker Lindh, the American Taliban guy, who is American born who decided to go to muslim. He was sentanced to jail because he admitted to joining the taliban in 2002. Well, he is now asking George W. Bush to set him free.

Random Story: An Egyptian man announced yesterday that he is offering his daughter for marriage to the man who threw his shoe at President Bush. The daughter agreed and said it would be an honor to be married to a hero.

Who they think we should tip. The response to most of these was HELL NO:

> House keeper tip up to 1 weeks pay and or a small gift

> Barber the cost of 1 hair cut or a small gift

> Dog walker up to one weeks pay or gift

> Personal Trainer

> Pool Cleaner

> Newspaper Delivery person, small tip or gift

> Mail Delivery guy

> Door Man - we actually said yes to this

> Yard Worker - $20

> Teacher - small gift but no cash

Really Cool Santa Story: A 9 year old girl in Texas had a much more disturbing wish. Her letter to Santa asked that her 55 year old relative would stop touching her and her 10 year old sister. This guy has been abusing these girls in their own home while others were sleeping for the past 4 years. This letter was written in class, the teacher saw it, and the teacher called the cops and the man was arrested and charged with 2 counts of sexual abuse and can spend up to 198 years in prison.

Sexy Time Fun Facts:

> Mark Your CalendarsThis year we’re synchronizing in the two-hour period around the Solstice, which falls on Sunday December 21 at 12.04 p.m. (four minutes after noon) Greenwich Mean Time. So in the U.K., Global-O time will be from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. The world is celebrating the election of the new USA President, Barack Obama, and the hope for change that he has stirred in our hearts. We are riding the wave of joy and renewal, which gives us a flying start for this year’s Global O! It’s the Global OOObama Factor! Check the Site Here.

> Thelma called in and told us the most graphic and nasty story about her orgasm during child birth.

> 64% of men say it is important that their partner finishes during sex

> The average guy finishes 4 times per week. 2 times during sex and 2 times by themselves.

> Girls. Have you ever thought about going gay? Even if you aren't into girls? 42% of men and 41% of women admit to cheating, but 37% of women can get over the betrayal but only 5% of men can.

> 7 in 10 men say they please their lady all the time. Most guys rate themselves as either good or excellent

> 1 in 4 women fake orgasms regularly and 1 in 3 guys admit that they have faked the orgasm.

Ask The Woody Show:

Sarah in San Mateo: She's getting off, but her boyfriend isn't. Its consistant. She wants to dump him, should she?

Ravey: They just aren't sexually compatable.

Menace: She's probably busted and she should shut up because she's getting laid.

Greg: He made some churning butter comment. Not mega getting.

Tony: Only thing I heard was "we're sexperts"

Woody: The sexual element of a relationship is key. It's a way of relating to eachother and you have to be in sync this way.

News Round 2 With Greg:

> A couple of billionares are donating $25 million to the SFU Labratory

> In Chico a 6th grade student brought some brownies that his mom made and shared them with the other students. Little did they know that the brownies were pot brownies. The kid is in protective custody and the mother is facing criminal charges.

> A Japanese couple took an United airlines flight, and the husband got freaking wasted and beat his wife with a total of 6 hits in the face. This was 2 years ago, now, the man is SUING UNITED AIRLINES for over serving him.

Dumbass Contest: Who Got it?

#1. Greg in Oakland - 0 for 2 No Win!

#2. David in Livermore - 0 for 2 No Win!

#3. John in SF - 0 for 2 No Win!

#4. Curtis in San Jose - 0 for 2 No Win!

#5. Johnathon in Tracy - Got 1 Right Winner!

#6. Jake in SF - Also a Winner!

What We Learned:

Ravey: Menace either goes on forever or is done in seconds

Menace: Continually and since the beginnign of time, child birth is gross

Greg: The only thing grosser than achieving an o during birth, is a foot in the brain

Tony: The only satisfaction Beth got from Tony was a baby

Katie: We all can relax because when Douche Bag of the Day fails, we can just turn to Tony.

Woody: If hell exists it's filled with women.

Tony's Just a Headline: He screwed this up, by asking for a getting......and now he's pouting.

And You Won't Want It To Stop...Yeah.

Tony and I went to Starbucks this morning and left intern Jessica. We're dicks. Then the "cool guy" forgot to give us her crossaint. F That. We got Cranberry Bliss Bars. Yum yum Yum

Today's Intern: Jessica who we LOVEEEE

Words and Stuff: Gooooooood Morning! Woody is hating on Santa. The guys who sit in as Santa must hate their lives, and hope that they can eat a bullet. This is the only way to go: Santacon is where 200 people dress as Santa and they booze all night long. Tony wants in!! Woody is no longer invited to the Christmas party. Woody can't figure out what to get me for Christmas. I told him that with all the driving Menace around, he can't go wrong with a gas card. He then made me decide between a Bong or a Rabbit. Considering I'm not a big pot smoker, a Rabbit sounds just fine. We were then talking about a flame throwing guy, and Tardy Tony picks up the Lysol and lights it on fire in the studio. This situation made: A. The place stink and B. Menace got scared. This one is for Menace: There is a new body spray on the market. It is from Burger King and it is called "Flame". The body spray is supposed to smell like flame broiled meat. Get Yours Today! This one is for Greg: A man won the cash prize of $100,000. He won it 11 times! He ended up with $1.1 million. Greg let the fact that we are apparently living together out of the bag today. Dammit.

News with Greg:

> The Adam Walsh (John Walsh is the host of "America's Most Wanted"--his son) case was closed yesterday. Ottis Toole was the man who killed and decapatated the 6 year old boy. Adam was killed 27 years ago.

> Apple Inc. announced that Steve Jobs will not be giving a presentation at this years Mac World get together.

> Airborne is still undergoing its false advertising charges. It doesn't cure the common cold.

Sports with Ravey, "The Sanity Keeper":

> Paton and Eli Manning both voted to the Pro Bowl yesterday

> The Sharks take on the Blue Jackets

> Jerry Porter signed a 6 year, $30 million contract with the Jaguars

> The Warriors are taking on the Pacers

Emails from People:

> Evan - Was talking about how Tony chimed in with the Arab disrespect comment with the shoe throwing. He was apparently wrong. Thanks Evan!!

Ways to Insult People:

#1. In Japan - If you toss someones business card on your desk w/o looking at it

#2. In the Philipines - if you curl your finger at someone like to say come here. It can result in arrest or a broken finger. its like calling someone a dog.

#3. In India and Africa - You can't eat with your left hand because it is used only for your backside

#4. Scandanavia - Looking at the floor when you drink to a toast

#5. In Russia - using your thumb and forefinger to make and ok sign is an insult with sexual intentions

#6. In Buddhist Religion - Patting someone on the head

#7. Argentina - Being on time for a dinner date, it is a sign of greed

#8. North America - To mistake a Canadian for an American or Visa Versa

Music and Entertainment Report

> Anthony Keed is still battling his kidney cancer

> Coldplays record label has forced Youtube to remove a video clip that mashes Coldplay's "Viva La Vida " with Joe Satrianis song. The label could be concerned that the video could be damaging

> Weezer made 6 Christmas songs

> Jessica Alba will be part of the post super bowl episode of The Office

> Tonight is the premiere of Muppets Christmas

> ABC has Pushing Daisies

Final Word: Hillary Duff, disputing rumors that she likes to give lap dances: "Little old me? yeah right, I don't even know how to give a lap dance."

Segment of how KIDS SUCK!!!:

> Illinois police were able to arrest 4 teens who committed a robbery after their footprints were found in the snow. The prints led them from where the crime took place to where they were staying. Police were called after the pizza man was robbed.

> A 50 year old man who told authorities he was fed up with teens toilet papering his house decided to defend his property -- with a squirt gun filled with fox urine. Now, Scott Wagar is in trouble with the law. Wargar pleaded not guilty on Wednesday to misdemeanor assult and other charges.

>The 75-year-old grandmother was strangled, punched, kicked, bound in duct tape and thrown in the trunk of her own car by three young adults. After 26 hours without food or water, Sandy Vinge made a silent plea to God: Either save me, or let me die.
“I told God that,” Vinge, her face still swollen and marked by ugly purple bruises, recalled to TODAY’s Matt Lauer. “Then I asked my late husband, who had just died — I said, ‘Don, tell God [to] help me.’ And he did. That night he helped me. The sheriffs came and they rescued me, because I wouldn’t have lasted long.”For the next 26 hours, police say, the three abductors drove around in Vinge’s car, using her credit cards to buy gas and other items. They never offered anything to Vinge, and when she asked for something to drink because she was desperately thirsty, one of the men smashed her in the face with his fist.

> Nearly 1 in 4 kids have stolen from their parents

> 36% of teens admit they've used the internet to plagiarize an assignment

> 1 in 5 teens have stolen from a friend

Dumbass Contest: Back Your Holiday Horse

#1. Vick in San Jose goes with Ravey: No Win

#2. Will in San Jose goes with Greg: No Win

#3. Casey in Sonoma goes with Woody: Winner!!!

#4. Robert in Ripon goes with Menace (not by choice): No Win....it was hopeless from the start

News Round 2 With Mr. Gory:

> Coolest Story of the Day: The Cleveland clinic announced yesterday that the first full face transplant in the United States.

> A woman brought home 27 dogs and she got homes for all but 4 of them. She hopes to find a home for the 4 dogs....before her husband gets home.

> Last Thursday, a 34 year old guy named Charles Pernot beat up and robbed an unidentified 44 year old in Delaware. The next day, Charles, the attacker, called the victim and said he'd tell him who paid him to do it for $500. So the next day the 2 guys met up and Charles, the attacker, played a recording of a phone call between him and the victim's former father-in-law. On the tape, the former father-in-law said he'd pay the guy $1200 to beat up his former son-in-law and that he'd be throw in an extra 3 grand if he castrated him. The former father-in -law and Charles have been charged with attempted robbery and conspiracy.

Got Game with Steve Masters:

> Doctors just diagnosed a kid with a mental detachment with his Playstation.

> Daniel Petric was a normal 16 year old sophomore in highschool and like many kids his age he loved videogames. But when his parents forbade him from playing Halo 3 he went off of the deep end. First he snuck out of the house to purchase the game himself at a local videogame store, but when he arrived home his parents caught onto his little plan and confiscated the game. His father took the newly purchased copy of Halo 3 and locked it away for safe keeping in his lockbox, along with a hand gun he had to protect the household from invaders. This sent Daniel over the edge, he went into his fathers lockbox and retrieved his game, his fathers gun and then walked into the room both his parents were in and said, "Would you guys close your eyes? I have a surprise for you." When both parents obliged, Daniel opened fire shooting and killing his mother with a head shot, while his father suffered a critical injury. Daniel then tried to cover up his heinous act by giving his father the gun, trying to make it look like a murder suicide. Things didn't go his way when his sister and her husband showed up to watch a local baseball team play. Daniel told them they couldn't come into the house because the parents had just had a "big argument," his father heard this and managed to get out a scream for help to alert his daughter and her husband.

> We got to play with the headplay cinemas This thing is so cool! It does make you look like a mega dork.

What We Learned:

Ravey: Headplay can truely be an awesome thing.

Menace: He still knows nothing about Christmas songs

Greg: The Cleveland clinic is Meca and there is hope for him.

Tony: This was a mess and isn't worth typing....he was uninvited from show Christmas for this one.

Woody: How to talk to 19 year olds.

Katie: Menace should move to Argentina because being late is curtious and being on time is rude.

Tony's Just a Headline: "TV Farmer Slammed for Fingering His Chickens."

Wahh-mulance.

We're back! I can't lie, I am excited. It was a long weekend...with LOTS of rain/hail/snow (in some bay area places) and power-outs. And it's HELLA raining right now. Glad I didn't slip while running the 10 feet from my car to the door. Phew. That would be embarrassing wouldn't it?

Today's Intern: Sarah

Wait, What chu say?: Gooooood Morning! "It's hella raining bluhhhd." - Menace. Menace got a new iPhone. There were a million emails about Menace, it turned into a make a wish foundation for Menace. Menace got Starbucks this weekend and was bitching about how hot it was. "It's boiling hot water, in a cup, does it need to be that EFFING hot!?" Funny thing was, his priority in this particular situation was to email Woody to share his horrible experiance. Next time Menace gets food, they will cut it and blow on it for him. I guess to put this blog in its correct format I should separate the email from the body of the blog, so here we go.

Emails from the Peoples:

Menace: I went to Starbucks and got a passion fruit tea (manly in itself), and it was wreally wreally hot.....and it burned me! Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Much better.... anyways. Greg finally got his TV and we discovered how technically retarded Greg is. He doesn't know if he has HD on his cable box. He doesn't know what the imput cables are. He can't figure out the song. He peeled off the sticker and it left a sticky mark on the front of it. We're off to a bad start with this whole TV thing.

News with Greg:

> Iraq journalist threw his shoes at Bush. In the middle of the news conference with Mr Maliki, Iraqi television journalist Muntadar al-Zaidi stood up and shouted "this is a goodbye kiss from the Iraqi people, dog," before hurling a shoe at Mr Bush which narrowly missed him. Watch the Video Here.

> New York Democrat said Monday that Caroline Kennedy has begun making calls to New York officials to officially express her interest in replacing Hillary Clinton in the United States Senate.

> Governor Patterson is not too happy about a bit on SNL that shows him kind of babbling around and having trouble. Because he is blind he was very offended, problem is, he said, "I got a chance to see it...." Did ya? Watch it Here

Ravey has our Sports:

> After teasing us last week, the arena football league cancelled its 2009 season.

> Sharks beat LA in a shoot out this weekend.

> Redwings lost last night to Colorado

> Eagles beat the Browns

> Warriors lost to the Magic last night.

> Tiger Woods' caddy shot his mouth off this weekend.

Stupid Human Story: A woman in Indiana was arrested after she lit up a joint in front of an officer. The woman was in the passenger seat of a car that had been pulled over for a traffic violation. While the cop was talking to the driver, the woman asked if she could smoke. He said yes, and she lit up a cigarrette which turned out to be a weed cigarrette, she was arrested on the spot. Effing idiot.

Music and Entertainment Report with Ravels:

> Fall Out Boy's latest album is out today, it was supposed to be out on Election day but they didn't want to take from Obama's win.

> Mama Mia is out today

> Mummy is also out today

> There will be a Guitar Hero Metallica released in 2009 and it will include 28 Metallica songs

> Pearl Jam will be made availiable for Rock Band

> Kevin Cogil was arrested for leaking Guns N' Roses songs. He pleaded guilty

> Jack Black will guest star in the post SuperBowl episode of the Office

> Will Smith has finalized sequels to 2 of his recent movies Hancock and I am Legend

> Tonight is the season finalle of Biggest Loser

Final Word: Axel Rose was answering online questions from fans. The question was, "Why he didnt release Chinese Democracy as a solo album?", "This is who i am , i dont see myself as only guns, but I do see myself as the only one from the past who is trying to take us forward"

Ask The Woody Show: From Julie: Is meeting up with an ex behind your new boyfriend's back considered cheating?? She asked him, and he said no, but she still wants to do it because it's just a harmless lunch.... Yeah OK.

What We Think: It's a mix up here in the station. Woody considers this cheating. The rest of us just think that it is lying. It will lead to nothing beneficial for your relationship. Anything that you can't do honestly in front of your boyfriend isn't a good idea. There is no such thing as a harmless lunch with an ex. Meance says Shut up Slut. Majority Rules from The Woody Show: All 6 of us say Bad Idea!!!!

Christmas Stories:

> A 4 year old triggered the silent alarm on the store across the street from his house. The child got out of his house and walked across the street and tried to get into the store. He couldn't get in through the front but he managed to trigger the back silent alarm.

> An elf working for a mall was going a story for AOL news and said a woman was waiting in line for about an hour for santa. The woman was being such a nut case about getting a good picture. Problem was, the kid was afraid of Santa, and woudln't smile. The woman went crazy, started cursing at the Santa, then took the kid outside and got "rough" with him.

> Farmers who rent animals for nativity scenes say that business is steady. There is only one issue and that is that camels are a little expensive and people are choosing cheaper livestock to replace them.

> A woman in Maryland is being charged with theft after swiping her neighbors Christmas decorations and using them as her own.

Comic Craig Gass is in the House!
He will be at Slims on Dec. 20 at 7:30 and 10:00 pm

Show is 18 and older only!

Want Tickets?? Get them HERE

or call Slims at 415.255.0333

Dumbass Contest: Impossible Holiday Trivia

How many Christmas gifts did my true love give to me in the 12 days of Christmas?

#1. Chris in SF - 78 Winner!

We do understand that the answer was in fact 364, sorry ladies and gents, "it is what it is"

Pointless Poll: Who do you think is sexy but NO ONE else does??

Ravey: Philip Seymour

Menace: Ugly Betty Chick - America Ferrera

Greg: Ellen Degeneres

Tony: Bridget Nielson

Woody: Tina Fey

Craig Gass: Queen Latifah

Katie: Mark Hoppus

News Round 2:

> The Obama cabinet is reppin the bay! Obama chose Steven Chu to be his energy chief.

> A man in Nutley, NJ is trying to pay off a $56 parking ticket. He is trying to pay it off in pennies and he is now being told that he can't pay it. They then said that he would have to put his name and licence number on each roll. He asked if he would have to put that info on each bill if he paid in $1 bills. They had no response and they put a warrant out for his arrest.... saying he didn't pay it, and also means that he had to pay an extra $90 to get out of jail. WTF?

Psycho Chick: Some chick named Sondra went to the Giants game wearing a Santa outfit, fishnet stockings, a skirt, a swimsuit bottom, and high heels. She was holding 2 signs. "Go Giants" and "Have a Gun Free Christmas"...The security then escorted her because she was dressed innapropriately and there were children present. She said she got kicked out because "other women just got jealous and complained."

What We Learned:

Ravey: Global warming is a myth because its snowing in Berkeley

Menace: Greg is legally insane

Greg: There is a diff between a cable box and an HD cable box

Tony: A Dave Chappel story is just Craig repeating his stand up bit.

Woody: Despite our friendships no one on this show will ever have to fight over a woman.

Katie: The next time I order a salad and there is lettuce in it, I am so emailing Woody.

Tony's Just a Headline: "Ass Man Retained As County Engineer"

Oh No My IPhone!!

Blah. Ravey said I need to bring the positive today. So that's what I am going to do. Whooooptie Doooo.

Today's Intern: Andrea

ZzZzZzZzZ: Goooooooood Morning! If we make it through this show, we'll be great. We only had a couple rough occurances last night. Itzhak was the highlight last night. They wouldn't let him bring his guitar in last night, so we had some drama with him. We thought he was going to have to perform acapela. We got the guitar and we didn't hear one boo. People were actually singing along. Woody forgot his cell phone today, and is feeling hella naked. Menace's phone looks a little bizzare, oh yeah, it's broken. Tony was drunk last night and stepped on Menace's phone. Menace claims that the phone was under the couch and Tony stepped on it while it was under the couch. Menace is really upset. Tony needs to apologize to Menace and me. I was joking around with him and he called me an "effing C-word" in an angry tone and I have witnesses. Tony hasn't given us a sincere word yet. Greg can't even put on the act today, he isn't the slightest bit upset that it's Friday.

Friday Song Challenge: Our Favorite Songs of 2008

Ravey: Coldplay - Viva La Vida 16.7%

Menace: Justice - Electric Feel 21%

Greg: Guns N' Roses - Better 11.7%

Tony: 7 Dust - Prodical Sun 11.7%

Woody: MIA - Paper Planes 38.8% Winner!

Guess The Home State: A burglar was arrested after being rescued from the chimney. He was trying to rob a paun shop and tried to climb down the chimney and got stuck. This was a 3 hour rescue mission.

#1. Fredalina - New Jersey No Win

#2. Mitch in Waterford - St. Louis Winner!!!

News with Greg:

> The US National Drug Institute - Says that teens have been abusing perscription drugs a lot lately.

> In Oaklahoma a man called the police because and told them that he shot his wife. HE SHOT HIS WIFE. Why? Because HE DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO TELL HER THAT THEY HAD GOTTEN EVICTED. Are you EFFING kidding me?!

> This whole Menace iPhone thing is not going to drop.

Trial of the Century: California vs. Tony Mott

We spoke with Mike who is an actual trial attourney.

I must add, Woody is a fabulous Judge

Tony ended up being not guilty, and apparently it's my fault now.

Music and Entertainment Report:

> John Stamos had been interested in putting together a remake of Full House

We had some visitors and I missed the rest. Sorry guys.

Dumbass Contest: Holiday Movie Tags

#1. Nolan in Oakley - 1 outta 3 No Win!

#2. Jeff in Modesto - 2 for 2 Winner!!!

News Round 2:

> We can expect freezing temperatures this weekend. There will be snow on local mountain tops.

This turned into an argument about the

> Hugh Douglas grant and his friends were 11 years old when they pulled the fire alarm. When everyone exited the building they started firing on the people. Well he is now 22 years old and has a CLEAN record. He is now trying to purchase a gun.

> 129 paramedics have been accused of sexual crimes while taking care of people in an emergency situation.

Sports With Ravey:

> 49er's Running back Gore will miss the game due to an ankle injury
> Randy Moss returns to the Collisium as a Patriot

> Sharks beat the Ducks last night.

Happy Happy Story:

A guy got trapped in the basement during a house fire, he called for help. The authorities came to rescue the guy who called. It turns out that they rescued the wrong guy and not the guy who called. He died in the Fire.

Jan Wahl is Here:

> Jan Wahl likes the word CACA

> She needs help

> Betty Page (some old whore) died.

> Cadilac Records with Beyonce is awesome! Go see it!

> Frost Nixon is out this week and it gets 4 hats!

> Doubt got 3 out of 4 hats.

> The Reader got 3.5 hats.

Crap On Celebs:

> Hermeini from Harry Potter said that she isn't ruling out nudie pix.

> We had to dump out on Jan

> Jaimie Lynn Spears had lyposuction.

Crappy Birthdays:

> Taylor Swift - 19

> Amy lee - 27

> Meg white - 34

> Jay Z - 39

> Nikki Six - 50

> Tom Delong - 33

> Vanessa Huggins - 20

> Michael Clark Dunkin - 51

> Larry Bird - 52

> Sarah Silverman - 38

> Woody Allen - 73

> Bob Barker - 85 Point goes to Ravey and Jan

> Dick Van Dyke - 83 Point goes to Tony

> Raven Simone - 23

> Terry Hatcher - 44 Point Goes to Tony

> Tyra Banks - 35

> Wink Martindale - 73
> Bett Midler -

Porno Birthday: This stud has stared in 1323 including, "Allie McFeel", "Thighs Wide Open", and "The Sopornos". Hershel Savage is 56 years old.

NSSN Comes Tonight!!!!

Not So Silent Night is tonight!!!! I'm stoked!! Everyone had better be there! :-)

Today's Intern: Mike

My Parachute Won't Open Dammit: Goooooooood Morning! We had a little argument about when we announced NSSN this year, we apparently announced it hella early. I don't exactly remember. Itzhak Valansky will be here today! We were going to have Spencer Christian and Janelle Wang do a follow up story on Itzhak. Spencer and Janelle are our people, but unfortunately they aren't allowed to come here anymore. Reason? We had them play F, Marry, Kill last time and "that was bad for their image." That's Crap. A guy we talked about from Merrell Lynch who requested a $10 million bonus. He then claimed he revoked his request because "Times are tough and it was the right thing to do." Last week a cat named Edgar went missing for 3 days and when she returned half of her face was littlerally dangling from his head. Apparently Edgar had gone under the hood of a car to keep warm and the fan belt caught the side of its face when the owner of the car turned it on. The cat returned to the house and was sitting in its litter box and when the owner passed out cold. The owner then took the cat to the vet and they sewed its face back on and now it just looks like it has a black eye. Lucky Cat!

Guess The State: Police say 3 teens tried to steal an undercover cop car with the cops inside. The teens were looking around in a parking lot and the undercover cop car followed them. The teens then headed towards the cop car with a flashlight, screw driver, and a piece of concrete. The cops then got out of the car and chased the teens. 2 were arrested and the third got away.

#1. Tarik in Dublin: Florida...Winner!

News with Greg:

> A British TV channel was scheduled to air a controversial documentary Wednesday night showing a terminally ill man committing assisted suicide. The film follows retired university professor Craig Ewert during the last four days of his life in 2006, when he visited a Swiss clinic with his wife, Mary, in order to die. "The disproportionate media coverage given to a very small handful of persistent people, desperate to end their lives, creates the false impression that there is a growing demand for assisted dying," Care Not Killing said in a statement on its Web site.

> Some guy named O.C. Welsh started running ads for his Ford dealership that were very racist. "Them Japanese cars are rice ready, not road ready." Listen Here.
> Some woman named Roberta had a very traumatic night. An intruder busted through her door with a gun through her door. She was petrified but her dog D Boy came to the rescue. The intruder shot the dog in the head, but that didn't fase the dog. The intruder shot the dog 2 more times, but the dog didn't stop protecting his owner. The intruder was so spooked that he left. The dog was taken to the hospital and is going to be fine. Hells yes!

Sports with Ravey:

> All three finalists for the Heismen Trophy are quarterbacks

> Nascar had deals with these car dealerships that are struggling so Nascar is taking a hit due to the economy crash.

> They may fold the WNBA all together.

> Warriors beat the Bucks last night.

> John Daily purposely smashed a photographers camera against a tree.

Something Ravey Won't Cover:

John Schnider, played Bo Duke, in reals life, someone stole 2 puppies and a car from him on Saturday. They then found the car, without the 2 puppies.

Music and Entertainment Report:

> A human rights organization called Repreive is launching a campaign called "Stop The Music Torture," aimed at ending the American practice of blasting music at loud levels while "interrogating" prisoners.

> Pearl Jam will reissue it's classic 1991 album, Ten, on March 24th, in a delux edition that will be available in four different versions. Each version will include a remastered version of the origional album along with a completely new remix of the set by longtime Pearl Jam producer Brendan O' Brien.

> The wife and son of Chris Baker, the personal assistant to Travis Barker who was killed in the September 19th plane crash that left three others dead and Barker of DJ AM seriously injured, have filed a wrongful death lawsuit against the aviation company that owned the plane and the company that made its tires.

> Deftones bassist, Chi Cheng is still in a coma after his car accident.

> Amy Polar is going to make her final appearance on SNL this week.

> Secret Millionare on Fox takes place from the Tenderloin tonight.

Final Word: Billy Corgen who says that the Smashing Pumpkins won't be releasing anymore albums "There's no point, people don't even listen to it. They put it on their IPod and they listen to the singles and don't listen to the rest of it. We will be more of a singles band from now on."

Fart Fun!:

> A Junior Highschool boy was arrested for purposly farting in class and for turning off the computers other students were working.

> A man with a healthy diet produces about a quart of gas

> Women don't fart as much as guys but their farts are denser

> The Whoopie Cushion was made to entertain royalty.

> Dogs fart a lot because they take in so much air when they eat and drink.

> Farts have a temp of 98.6 but it cools down as it travels 10 feet per second.

What Produces the Worst Smelling Farts:

Jeremiah - Meat and Veggies

James - Beer

Jen - Bagel Bites

Lynn - Hard Boiled Eggs

Dumbass Contest: Who's the Other Guy?

#1. Gina in Dublin - 1 outta 3 No Win!

#2. Sarah in SF - 0 outta 2 No Win!

#3. Josh in San Leandro - 2 for 2 Winner!

Sexy Time Fun Facts:

> Ravey pleasures herself

> According to a new survey 92% of women admit that they pleasure themselves

> According to a new survey, 34 is the age women find themselves sexiest.

> 44% of women want more foreplay and 32% just wish their man would last longer. Thing is 39% of women have never told their guy just how they want it.

> 1 in 3 women say that their partner is selfish in bed

> 92% of fat chicks have had sex with a man while only 87% of normal sized chicks have had sex with a man.

Special Spots:

#8. Her inner thigh

#7. Her Back and Shoulders

#6. Her Hands

#5. Her Breasts

#4. Knees

#3. Her Booty

#2. Her Stomach

#1. Her Hair

What Spots Turn You On?

Ravey: Her hair

Greg: Ears

Menace: Nothing. Focus on the Weeeen

Tony: Collar Bone

Woody: Stomach

Katie: Neck and Ears

Itzhak Valansky is in the House!

> He is here, dressed in full parachute attire.

> He thinks that this place is interesting.

> "I'm not a book man, I'm a musician stuck in the body of a book seller."

> You guys need to go McDonald's book store on 3rd Street!!

> This guy's got jokes!

> He performed 3 of his songs! He rules!

> If you haven't yet seen the video watch it HERE, if you have seen it, watch it again, and send it to everyone you know. We're trying to get it featured on Youtube!!

News Round 2 with Mr. Greg Gory:

> How did a day without a gay go? Well it drew what's being called "spotty" participation nation wide yesterday, with some people saying that the concept was good but the effect wasn't all that great. An employee of Cliff's Variety Hardware store said he wanted to call in gay, but didn't want his boss to bear the burden of his absence. A Castro resident said it could have been so much bigger and better, with hotels even being shut down. Rallies were held, though, in SF, Austin, and Logan, Utah.

> 3 Kentucky Friend chicken employees in Anderson, CA were suspended after taking a bath in a deep sink normally used to clean dishes. The girls probably would have gotten away with it but one of the girls put pictures of it all on her Myspace page.

> The economy isn't doing so well, we all know that, how are things in Detroit? Apparently so bad that even the strip clubs are feeling the heat. Jon Jon's Cabaret is offering half off deals and have cut the cost of table dances from $20 to $10. They've also lowered the drink prices, it seems to be helping. They say the regulars still come in, they just don't stay as long. Other adult-oriented businesses in Detroit aren't doing too well either. The GreekTown Casino in downtown Detroit is in chapter 11 bankruptcy and the MGM Grand has laid off several dozen employees. The GM of a strip club called the Booby Trap says that they have good nights and bad nights, but more bad than good.

What We Learned:

Ravey: The shocker isn't foul.

Menace: Itzhak has a killer wardrobe

Greg: Menace's dream is to watch Greg have a heart attack

Tony: Ravey owns a South Carolina car dealership.
Woody: Ravey if she ever accidentally swallows poison she won't need a stomach pump because the words "rogue hair on my shaft" will bring it right up.

Katie: Menace is screwed because a sideways hat and pumpkin farts don't get you street cred.

Tony's Just A Headline: "Man Caught with Case of Crabs in Texas."

Man Children.

I sound like Ravey did yesterday. I am alergic to this season. No bueno. NSSN is TOMORROW! ohh hells yes! I'm mega excited. Oh one question. If anyone can explain to me why it was 42 effing degrees outside my house this morning, but was 49 degrees on the BAY BRIDGE...let me know. K? Thanks.

Today's Intern: Jessica

Talk Talk Talk...Keep Talkin: Goooooooooood Morning! Ravey is only a quarter slut today. The death toll is rising due to the plane crash in San Diego. 3 generations of people were killed. Story for Greg. There was a pushy New Zeland woman who pushed her husband to buy a lottery ticket and they won. Lucky bastards.

Emails from the Peeps:

> Anne - Just wants to thanks us for being a great morning show. Everyone on the show rules...except Ravey didn't get a mention so she isn't clapping.

> Janessa - Wants to congradulate Woody on his recent marriage and baby news.

Planned Parenthood is giving out gift cards .... sweet.

Guess The State: 24 year old man accused of driving drunk after he was caught doing donuts on a frozen snow covered run way. The police told him to stop and when the cops came to him, he told the cops that he had permission to test his breaks.

#1. Robert in SF - Florida....Snow in Florida.....No Robert...Sorry dude.

#2. Jared in San Jose - Pennsylvania Winner!

News with Sir Crunks-a-lot:

> All across the country people are being encouraged to call in "Gay" to protest Prop 8.

> A woman in Tennesse claims she found $97,000 in a bathroom. They were all $1,000 bills and she returned it.

Sports with Ravey who is only a quarter slut today:

> Clinton Portis is pissed about getting benched.

> Joey Porter says that the media is making Plaxeco look like he's a bad guy.

> The NFL is going to lay off 150 people

> Warriors take on the Bucks tonight

Music and Entertainment Report:

> Coldplay issued a response to the plagerism accusations. They didn't have any intention on copying anyones music.

> There is trauma on the set of Greys Anatomy.

> Paula Abdul is blaming the producers of American Idol for her coming face to face with Goodspeed, even though the girl was stalking Paula

> Shows are all new tonight

Final Word: Jay Leno, talking about his new schedule on NBC, "Origionally I wasnt going to stay with NBC, but my parents said that whatever you do in life, try to come in 4th.

Who Friggin Cares: 49-year-old John Singer of Queens is pissed about an article that appeared on the website of Centropa, a European oral-history project, wrongly claiming that he had not been circumcised. He's filed a lawsuit in Brooklyn Federal Court seeking unspecified damages, claiming that, "Centropa.org and its editorial staff have violated my right to privacy of the most intimate part of my anatomy. They have caused me tremendous emotional pain and suffering. I feel humiliated and betrayed."

Crunkin and Drunkin Stories:

> The ban on hard liquer in Belmont, CA is for events at city facilities. This whole thing blows.

> Nevada - A contract worker for a Nevada sheriff's department was accused of driving drunk to a jail to test a suspect's blood alcohol content. 53 year old Kathleen Cherry told a Carson City deputy who smelled alcohol on her breath that she had one margarita before driving Friday night. She was over the legal limit and was arrested and her bail is more than $1000

> A man from the UK killed 2 people while driving drunk and pleasuring himself. Last August 47 year old Gary Proctor of Wakefield, England was driving down the highway when he was hit by 32 year old drunk driver Imran Hussain, who was going 120 mph. Gary and his son, 16 year old James were killed in the accident and Gary's wife, 44 year old Catherine, suffered serious injuries but survived. Imran was banned from driving for 15 years and was put in jail for 8.

> In Florida, police said a mand came home to find a drunk burglar asleep on the living room floor. The man dbroke into the partment Wednesday and rummaged through the bedroom and cabinets prior to passing out. When he woke up he was so drunk he thought he was in his own appartment.

> In Florida - Authorities say an intoxicated man had his 9 year old son take him on a beer run. Cape Coral police arrested the 27 year old man. When officers stopped the truck, the man told them he was teaching his son to drive. Police say that the father's speech was slurred, his breath smelled of alcohol and he was unable to stand without swaying. There was also an open case of Budwiser in the back seat.

> In Nevada a woman was pulled over for driving drunk and pulling the gas hose and nozzle out of the gas unit. An ambulance crew spotted her driving with the nozzle coming out of her car but they couldn't get her attention .

> From Michigan, a 25 yr old literally spilled his guts to the cops. When the cops finally caught the man after a foot chase, this man puked up some crack. The man had swallowed it during the chase but felt so sick after, he puked it up. The cops pulled the contents out and he was charged with possession.

> From NY, police say they pulled 2 drunk drivers out of 1 car. Police say that the woman was trying to pull off a 3 point turn in the middle of the road. When the woman couldn't pull it off, she pulled a Chinese fire drill with the man in the passenger seat, who was also crunk. The man then completed the 3 point turn. The cops then pulled them over and they were BOTH charged with Drunk Driving.

Dumbass Contest: Completely Retarded or Dead to Real

#1. Joesph in Daly City - 1 outta 3 No Win.

#2. April in SF - 1 outta 3 No Win.

#3. Jeff in Castro Valley - 2 for 2 Winner!!

Pointless Listener Poll: What is the WORST giftcard you can get?

Stupid.com's Top 10 Worst Gifts.

#10. Pole Dancer alarm clock

#9. Dog Doo Calander

#8. How to Tie a Tie, Tie.

#7. The Obama Yes We Can...Opener

#6. Men's Underwear Repair Kit

#5. Wasabi gum ball

#4. Potty Putter

#3. Mini Guitar Hero

#2. Wealth Re-Distribution Ornament

#1. Screaming Chicken

Our Least Favorite Gift Cards:

Ravey: Giants Store

Menace: PetCo
Greg:

Tony: 84 Lumber

News with Gregamus Maximus:

> Not a good day for Illinois Governor Rod Blagoyavich yesterday. He was arrested by the FBI in his home on Federal Corruption Charges and he's accused of committing mail fraud, wire fraud, and soliciting bribes.

> A man has been Cited for bothering animals at the SF zoo after he jumped into the enclosure of a black rhino. The man wasn't identified and luckiely no animals were hurt and zoo officials say that everyone is lucky the rhino stayed mellow and didn't go after the dumbass.

> Police in Arkansas tracked down a suspected theif in the ceiling of a gas station bathroom after noticing his foot prints on the toilet seat. The gas station worker thought there was something bizarre about the guy because he walked in barefootand went in the woman's bathroom for 20 minutes. He was "on a mission to steal"

Got Game With Masters:

> Wii speak sucks

> Left for Dead Rules

> Old school games can be found at www.1980-games.com

What We Learned:

Ravey: There is no shortage of people willing to bring down the good name of alcohol

Menace: Planned parenthood gift basket is Ravey's Christmas present.

Greg: Some cameras don't have zoom

Tony: An ambulance and the setting of a car alarm sound very similar

Woody: Drinking and driving is bad but drinking driving and smacking it is worse.

Katie: Nothing says I love you like a planned parenthood giftcard and Ravey is going to get tounged by a zombie

Tony's Just a Headline: "Man Charged in Hamburger Abuse Case"

You Effing C Word

Today is going to be amazing. This morning RULED. Noah's bagels was open so I bought a bagel box for us to chow down on. I got free parking. I love today.

Today's Intern: Sarahhh

Blabbity Blahhh: Goooooooood Morning! There was a story about me in the paper. Woody read it...and yes ladies and gentlemen, I meant it when I said that it was a privlige to work with these dorks. They are waiting for my sex tape to get out. And NO I haven't sent nudie pictures. Nice try though. There was this guy Reverend Right and he yells ALL THE TIME. THEEE GATESSS OF HELLLLLLL. Ravey sounds like a hard core slut right now. Dizzy Balloon won the opening spot for NSSN. Hear their cover of "My Parachute Won't Open" Here. Everyone is STOKED for Itzhak Valansky and his performances on Thursday.

News with Greg Gory:

> A military jet crashed into a San Diego town killing three yesterday. The pilot ejected right before the plane crashed and landed in a tree.

> A little 3 year old was rescued with his 2 dogs from the forest yesterday. The child had run away because he wanted to go "hunting and fishing."

> San Jose has slipped from #3 to #4 ranked safest large city.

Sports With Raspy Ravey:

> Panthers won last night

> Warriors finally ended their 9 game losing streak

> Randy Johnson needs a place to pitch next season.

> Derrek Rose was in bed cutting his delicious apple, he then cut himself with the knife and needed 10 stitches.

> Vikings won and the media went into the locker room for some post game footage. As a result they got a nudie shot.

Music and Entertainment Report:

> Dark Knight is out today

> Horton Hears a Who is out today and our very own "Man Child" is very excited.

> A documentary is out today called Man on Wire

> Milk won the Stanley Cramer award

> NBC will announce today that J-Lenno will stay with the network

> Season finale of Manswers is on tonight

Final Word: Kid Rock, who isn't worried about PETA, "My biggest extravagence is fur coats, I have one of every animal in my closet."

Random School Stories:

> A teacher is facing charges for attempting to enliven a seventh-grade discussion of slavery by binding the hands and feet of two black girls, prompting outrage from one girl’s mother and a prominent civil rights group.

> Christopher Morango was fired for conduct that was unbecoming of an officer. He was a school security cop.

> A former football coach took money out of the school account to "use for football gear", he took all $10,000 in a strip club.

FYI:

> 2008 is going to be recorded as the longest year ever because they are adding an extra second to the atomic clock....(I think this should fall in the Who Friggin Cares segment)

> Vinnie, from X men, wants to be known. If you ever see him out on the street, don't tell him that you don't know who he is, he'll kick your ass.

> The guys who play Jack Sparrow in Disneyland are lucky and screwed at the same time. All the characters were fired, BUT the reason was, the ladies kept flashing their boobs at them.

Psychic Susie Stevens is Here!

Susie Stevens has spent the last 35 years channeling on all aspects of life: the past, present and future - and helping her clients "get in touch with their souls."

Susie, who believes she "has a unique gift from God," is serious about her chosen profession, and emphasizes integrity and honesty are paramount between a psychic and client

"An ethical psychic helps the client deliver the data, both positive and negative, needed to make decisions. Anything else is manipulation."

Susie trained with now deceased astrologer Robert Cole, who considered her "to be my most gifted friend." She was a volunteer in a Santa Cruz mental facility and with Suicide Prevention for 13 years. Susie works with the survivors of domestic violence, and educates on the battered wife syndrome-work which Susie says has brought her closer to her expertise.

One of Santa Cruz's most popular psychics, Susie still has some of the same clients that she began with 35 years ago. Her success, she believes, is because, "I am very devoted to getting people in touch with their optimum potential."

Do you want to check her out?! call her at 1 (831) 475.7290

News Round Number 2:

> Same sex marriage supporters are pushing everyone to "call in gay" tomorrow to stay home and keep their wallets shut.

> There is a sushi buffet that is now charging if you leave any food on your plate.

These guys are the most mature people I have ever known. They fight over boogers.

Dumbass Contest: Are They Taller Than Tony?

#1. TJ in Oakland who hasn't been mugged yet - 0 outta 2 No!

#2. April in Daly City - 0 outta 2 No Win!

#3. David in Fremont - 2 outta 3 Winner!

What We Learned:

Ravey: The producers of Double Dare could have stopped a starving country.

Menace: 92.7 will be dead air tomorrow.

Greg: LWill never have a dream ranch in montana but will own an orphanage

Tony: Cant wait for dean to play with Jamarcus Kareem Garcel Fife.

Woody: Dave, Ravey, and Greg will not be at work tomorrow.

Katie: With the exception of Ravey I work with a bunch of Man Children who fight over boogers.

Tony's Just a Headline: "Woman Hurls Shoe in C Word Arguement."

What the Buck?

It's Monday! Only 4 Days until NSSN!!! Who's Excited?! We're going to have a crazy week: NSSN and Itzhak Valansky! Will your parachute open? Because mine won't....

Today's Intern: Jessica

Blabber Blabber: Gooooooooood Morning! Greg actually isn't happy that it is Monday. This is the last Monday in 2008 that we will be working. Greg sent everyone a strange text about how he was washing his car and some neighbor drove by (one he only recognized, he didn't know her) and she says, "Hey Greg, have fun doing whatever it is you do AFTER you wash your car." Terri Hatcher used to be a 49er cheer leader in 1983. Menace doesn't think she's hot. He's crazy, I think she is SUPER hot. Menace dared to text Ravey during a football game. He upset the Queen. We have a huge week this week. It's going to be great. We had some bands cover "My Parachute Won't Open" and I can't wait to hear them. Itzhak Valansky's music video, "My Parachute Won't Open." now has 11,500 hits! Jesssssssssus H! Everyone Bread the word about this song. We're blowing this up! The band Dizzy Balloon covered - "My Parachute Won't Open." It's great! Oh man this song rules .

News with Greg:

> O.J. was sentanced to 33 years. He was taken to a medium security prison but he is separated from the rest of the jail. He will be eligible for parole after 9 years.

> In Wisconsin some dumbass 59 year old woman left her dog Jiffy outside in single digit weather over night. Luckily Jiffy was overweight and survived the night. Dumb bitch.

Sports with Ravey:

> Jets have lost 2 in a row. They lost to the 49ers last night.

> Giants were distracted yesterday

> Pierce finally met with the police yesterday regarding the Plaxeco case.

> Steelers won in the final 7 minutes of the game.

> Titans beat Cleveland

> Cardinals beat the Rams 34 - 10

> Baltimore beat the RedSkins

> Greg Mattix is going to make a noon announcement of his retirement.

> Manny Pacquiao destroyed Oscar De La Hoya

> Michael Vick is now bankrupt. Good....Stupid Dick.

Ravey's Music and Entertainment Report:

> 4 Christmases was at the top of the box office this weekend.

> Twilight Sequel?? It's on a fast track to be made and they are looking for a new director

> Coldplay has been sued by Joe Satriani for plagerism

> Angelina Jolie is the highest paid working actress

> Steve-o will compete on next seasons "Dancing with the Stars"

Final Word: Alex Rodrigues denies anything sexual between him and Madona "We're just friends. I've never been on a plane with her."

Menace is looking for a lady OnDemand.

Comcast On Demand Dating Videos

#1. Louis - Check out his Video

#2. Totally Goth - Check out this Bitches Video

#3. MColleen - Check it out.

#4. Playa59 - Holla at Cha Boi

#5. Martina - Username Ska...because that is in. This bitch is crazy.

#6. Psycho Bitch Amanda - Jesssus H, Her video here.

5 Biggest Lies that Men tell Women
#1. She's just a friend

#2. I'm ready to settle down

#3. It's not you it's me.

#4. It was a one-time thing

#5. I'd never lie to you.

Dumbass Contest - Will Menace Know It.

#1. Lori in Antioch - 2 outta 3!!

A. What is an Abbreviation? - When you shorten a word. YES!

B. How do you abbreviate pounds? - lbs YES. (Lori said no though.)

C. Name 3 of the 4 Beatles - Ringo Star, John Lennon, and Paul McCartney. YES!

Lori's phone went dead. Aw. WINNER! We messed with her.

#2. Eric in SF - No Win.

A. How many stripes are on the flag? - 18. No!!

B. The first 6 letters on a standard keyboard? - No!!

Nicki Brought us Cup Cakes!!!!! Yummmmmmm

Do you want some of these cupcakes from heaven? contact her at: Hey There, Cupcake!

OJ Simspon talk, he made an emotional statement. This guy is a douche bag.

Madden did an interview with Scott Weiland -- ZzZzZzZzZz Wake me up when it's over.

News Round 2:

> Sunny Van Bula died after spending 28 years in a coma.

I missed some of this, today is crazy.

Douche Bag of the Day: Two crack head thugs had just beaten up and robbed an elderly woman and they decided to hail a cop car. When the cop asked for their ID the idiot accidentially revealed the $149 that they had just stolen.

Guess The State: On sunday morning , Tim Havers and Carolyn were having sex and out of no where Tim accidentially shot carolyn in the chest. They had a gun on the bed and he tossed it aside so it wouldn't be in the way during sex, when he threw the gun, it went off and shot carolyn in the chest. He is now facing charges

#1. Fred in San Jose - Pennsylvania No!

#2. Ryan in Hayward - Florida No!

#3. Chris in SF - Ohio Yes!!

What We Learned:

Ravey: Woody is clearly not concered about Santa's Naughty or Nice list since he gave Lori a heart attack.

Menace: How it feels to have a drill put through your head after the Scott Weiland Video

Greg: Youc ant strust studies about TV because he is not happy

Tony: Compared to Scott Weiland Tony and Menace are word smiths

Woody: Menace can get a $100 gift card to Best Buy for turning in his super gangster water pistol.

Katie: Ding a ding ding is clearly different from ding ding ding a ding.

Tony's Just a Headline: " Mutant Four Claw Monster Lady Caught in Road Island"