Stopped at AMPM this morning (Where there is wayy to much good stuff) and got a Gatorade, yet left it in my car. Hm. I'm just happy to be back at work. Now if the damn sunshine would just come back that would be great.
Today's Intern: Jessica
Talk Talk Talk: Goooooooood Morning. Ravey got everyone sick. Thanks Rave. Woody is rockin the sore throat. (as am I a little) Woody doesn't understand why people are so hesitant to take sick days, which is new news to me because at TJ's people call in sick when they stub their toe. When you're a "do nothing" and you take sick days, you should feel like a dick for taking sick days. Which makes us wonder how Tony felt about calling in sick for his pink eye situation. We do have to be here the day after NSSN...which is going to be interesting to see if Menace shows up. Spud hasn't taken a sick day for years....he's never here! He has mastered the Jedi Mind Trick. Banks have strange policies. All the robbers have to do is hand over a note and then you can't hit the SILENT alarm until the robbers are out of the building??? Hell no. Menace was bored on Friday, so he made a cake. But as if him making a cake isn't embarrassing enough, he put the twitter symbol on it. Wow Menace, that's super sweet. The Menace cooking corner will return, there will be new episodes soon! News With Greg Gory:
> Obama had his first news conference as the President Elect on Friday. He wants to make sure that the middle class can avoid forclosures. How the military will recieve Obama, we still don't know. So let's see, stop the drilling and make the oil prices higher....check. Stop the stem cell research.....check. Bring the people who are trying to kill us here......check. Sweet. We're totally not screwed.
> In Chicago, a 90 year old woman has apparently been living in a house, alone, with the bodies of her 3 dead siblings. One of the siblings had been dead since the early 1980's. That's creepy.
> A contractor who found $182,000 of depression currency in the wall of a house he was working on. The contractor got a couple thousand dollars out of it, and the guy who's money it was had 21 relatives around so they all got some, but the homeowners accociation is trying to make a lawsuit to say that they want ALL the money.
Sports with Ravey:
> Giants beat the Eagles
> Ugly day for the Raiders this weekend.
> The Vikings beat the Packers
> Colts beat the Steelers first time since 1968
> Titans remain undefeated, they beat the Bears
> The Chargers beat the Cheifs
> Miami beat Seattle
> Jacksonville killed Detroit
> Jets killed the Rams
> Sharks beat Dallas on Saturday but lost to Phoenix last night
> Kings beat the Warriors in the 2nd half last night
Happy Happy Story Time: Allllright. This one is about a 64 year old Grandma who got busted for driving drunk (Crunkin Granny), and she was in the court begging for some mercy. She said she was only driving because her husband needed medicine fast. She had several arrests and had spent time in jail. The judge said that she had used up her chances, and that she was going to go back to jail. She then pulled a bottle of "Weed N' Feed" (Ingrediants: Dicamba, MCPA, nitrogen, phosphorus, potassium, iron, wetting agent) out of her purse, drank it right there, and fell over dead.
Random Stories:
> A man in East Palo Alto beat and sexually assulted his 2 year old niece. He was held in the house and got his ass KICKED by the mother until the cops there.
> Studies have found...get ready for this...that teenage boys use alcohol to get girls to have sex with them. I was shocked when I heard this. If you don't get the sarcasm, then uhhh....I don't know what to tell ya.
Music and Entertainment Report:
> Madagascar took over the box office this weekend. $63.5 Million
> Role Models took in $19.3 million
> Chi Cheng's mom wants his fans to keep praying
> Billy Joel from Green Day now has his own shoes, so Menace call your shoe guy.
> Smashing Pumpkins went to New York, played a setlist that had no hits and a 40 minute jam session in the middle. People were less than happy about it.
> 5th season of Lost will be back in January
Final Word: Tom Morello on the election, "Honestly I never thought I'd live to see this day, Obama's election is a huge step towards civilization"
Crazy, Funny, Random Stories:
> Studies show that talking out problems in a relationship may make it worse. Guys get more uncomfortable when they have to be in a situation to talk it out.
> Last week a man in India found out his woman was cheating on him. To get back at the guy who his wife was with, they found him, attacked him, and cut off his junk. Procedure is called a "Wein Chop" or a "Hog Splice"
> The former trainer of The Biggest Loser, was arrested the other day for beating his 6 year old son with a weight lifting belt.
> Last Sunday 31 year old Robbert found out that his wife was going to leave him for a 23 year old. Robbert some how got his wife to take him to meet this guy. When they were all together, Robbert forced the 2 into an office where he forced them to undress at knife point. He then told his wife to get on her knees and orally pleasure both of the men. When she refused he told her to castrate the other man. He also forced her to cut up his face. He then took his wife home and sexally assulted her and beat her. He was arrested the next day.> 2 neighbors have been arrested for fighting at a babyshower. They were swinging around shotguns and shovels.
> A New Berlin woman was accused of attempted homoside. She rapped plastic wrap around his head and hit him with a dumbell to get him to shut up. She was charged with first degree attempted homoside.
Dumbass Contest: What Line are You on!?
#1. Max in SF - Line 3 Winner!
#2. The Toddanator - Line 1 Winner!
What Was Your Favorite Child Hood Toy?
Ravey: Play Dough
Menace: Some Electric Cars that go around. He forgot the name.
Greg: Tonka Trucks and B-B Guns
Tony: He Man and Masters of the Universe Action Figures
Woody: Tonka Trucks
Katie: I was all about launching Hot Wheels across the room off the ramps.
News Round Two With President Gory:
> Huge protests about the Prop 8 decision. There have been protests as large as 10,000.
> A Pilot was in the middle of a flight when he had a stroke and went blind. HE WENT COMPLETELY BLIND. He called in to the base to get help to land the plane. It took him 3 trys to land the plane, on the third time he landed the plane based off of audio instruction. Amazing.
> Researchers in Oxford University made a study of the most irritating expressions:
10) It's not rocket science
9) 24/ 7
8) Shouldn't of
7) It's a nightmare
6) Absolutely
5) Will All Due respect
4) At this Moment in time
3) I Personally
2) Fairly Unique
1) At the End of the Day
Douche Bag of the Day: Spike Lee he fired his talent agency because his last movie sucked. Doucheeee Bag!!
9:15 AM Woody announces that he was wrong. He said that Kat Williams doesn't suck and that he is one of the funniest Mother Effers ever. Tony and Menace were begging to have him on the show, and Woody said no. Idiot.
Crap on Celebrities:
> Kat Williams was arrested late last week for driving a car without license plates and having a hand gun in his car.
> The truck that Shia LaDouche crashed will be availiable for auction on Ebay soon.
> The 15 year old nephew of R Kelly was shot while trying to hold up a local Barber Shop.
Crappy Birthdays:
Brittney Murphy - 31
Tracy Morgan - 40
Sinbad - 42
Christopher Knight - 51
King Kong Bundy - 51
Jack Osbourne - 21
Tara Reid - 33
Gordon Ramsey - 42
Mary Heart - 58
Vanessa Minillo - 28
Nick Lache - 31
Chris Jerrico - 38
Peppa - 39
The Hulk - 57
Porno Birthday: Arcadia Divida has stared in 66 Fine films including; "Poon Tang Clan" and "Everyones Effing Raymond" Tony and Menace for the win she is 26
What We Learned:
Ravey: Just let grandma crunk and drive, you never know what she has in her purse
Menace: Making a cake is hella gangster
Greg: People at oxford have never been to a radio meeting or else it is what it is" would have been at the top of the list.
Tony: If you and Jen ever have a kid no shovels or shot guns at the baby shower
Woody: Not only can Menace eat cake but he can bake it like a champion.
Katie: Greg as a innocent child, loved B-B Guns and Explosives.
Tony's Just a Headline: "Police take Aggressive Cock Into Custody"
1 comment:
Really, alcohol? Wow, I NEVER would have guessed.
Post a Comment