Hells Yes Bluhhhhd.

I went to class yesterday, and my professor had the class playing guitar hero on the Wii. It was interesting. I'm thinking today should be a good day! I'm stoked that I got to bed at 9:00. It ruled.

Today's Intern: Jessica

What it Do?: Gooooooooood Mornin! No one understands what happened yesterday and we're all wondering how something didn't get broken. Ravey is such a sex fiend butt slut and she is interested in dating an inmate. check it out. http://www.meet-an-inmate.com/. This topic came up because of our story yesterday about the sex addict defendant who was actually really hot! There was some more chatter but all too random for me to follow. Amy Winehouse is so ugly that she makes us mad (except Ravey who is keeping the peace) and she makes us want to punch her in the face.

Would You Rather: Have sex with Amy Winehouse or Half Ton Mom? and no killing yourself isn't an option.

To vote check out http://www.davetheshowkiller.com/
Amy Winehouse: 60%
Half Ton Mom: 40%
Everyone in the room except Woody says Amy Winehouse.

What the Hell...America Has Gotten So Fat:

> I find it facinating that Greg and Woody think they are fat, I don't get it.

> TIVO announced Monday that they are partnering up with Dominos. Use your TV remote and click the Domino's button that says "I Want It." and you can order your pizza from your couch.

> A fat guy was so determined to join the Marines that he lost 140lbs in a year!

> A fast food fan Natalie Jackson was hit with a $264 fine at KFC for staying too long gorging on a monster sized family bucket. The lady and her pal ordered 14 chicken pieces, 6 bags of fries, and large cokes after driving to their local store. They spent an hour and a half eating the 5,456 calorie feast. A few days later she got the fine in the mail for breaking the restaurant parking lot's 75 minute limit. Natalie Jackson eats there 3 times a week and said she never noticed the limit. "It didnt feel like I was in there that long. We were hungry."

News With Greg:

> Authorities said that a group of college students made a bonfire which caused the spreading wild fires in Southern California.

> 21 year old guy named Chad Toy was serving a 4 year sentance in jail in Kentucky. He escaped on Monday while cleaning out the lobby. He left for a while then turned himself back in.

> 3 Men and 3 women got busted for breaking out of their cells to have sex with eachother. All they had to do was peel back the metal ceiling pieces.

> A 61 year old man developed a flesh eating virus while in jail. They didn't take him to the doctor and told him to suck it up. It eventually got so bad that they had to remove skin from his pelvis and man junk. He is now recieving $300,000 in settlement.

> A blind 74 year old woman was being threatened with losing her house because she was short on her bill. Which was for a penny, which if you think about it after she sends it in it will be 43 cents.

Sports With Miss Ravey:

> Warriors beat the Trailblazers

> Sharks are off until Saturday

> A's - Don Wakamatsu is now the manager of the Seattle Mariners

> Pacman Jones finished his alcohol treatment program

> Lance Armstrong gave an interview about his tour to France. He claimed he's "afraid of the French"

Ravey made Menace move because he smelled too strong, it's always somethin. Ravey is going to be a super sniffer. No one seemed to notice his smell except Ravey, but she probably has a really sensative sense of smell

Douche Bag of the Day:

Michigan police said that a robber tried to rob a 36 year old man of $30. The victim then tackled the robber and demanded his money back, the robber then added on $80 bucks on because he was so scared.

Music and Entertainment Report:

> Cold Play has released the "Lost" music video and "Lost Plus" with Jay Z will be released as well

> The Vines have cancelled all of their upcoming shows due to Craig Nichols deteriating mental condition.

> Seth Rogan loves porn as much as Tony.

> There is a new show being developed by NBC called "Making Friends with Black People"

> Obama's recent interview on 60 minutes scored the highest of the season. Highest rated 60 minutes in the past 10 years.

> Pushing Daisies is hanging by a thread. Everyone watch it tonight so it won't get cancelled. Do it for Queenie.

> 12 season finale of South Park

Final Words: Tim Robbins is still pissed about being turned away from the polls, "They sent a copy of his voter registration, licence number, and address to the media. Vindictive, corrupt scumbag."

Dumbass Contest: Press Your Luck

#1. Chris in Newark: Pressed his luck and lost it all.

#2. Josue in Livermore: No Win.

#3. Rachyl - Livermore: No Win.

#4. Kelly in Redwood City: No Win.

#5. Andy in San Jose: Won Survivor, Pressed his Luck and won Will and Grace, Pressed his luck and won MXC, and Pressed his Luck and won the ALL OR NOTHING! Winner of all our prizes!!

Pointless Poll: If Given the Opprotunity Would You Go Into Space?

Yes: 85%

No: 15%

Crazy Ass Ex's:

> Tracy got into an arguement with her boyfriend Alan. She douced her boyfriend and his dog in gasoline and lit them on fire. Alan was such a dog lover and put his dog out first then he was rushed to the hospital.

Ravey:

Menace: Had an ex who faked a pregnancy.

Greg: Girlfriend was the daughter of a rich family, at age 17 the parents wanted to talk to Greg about marriage.

Tony: The chick who bought Tony flowers and Tony talked to some girl in passing and the girl beat him with the flowers.

Woody: Pick an ex Woody has had, and pick a story.... for example: An ex faked Cervical Cancer

Katie: My ex followed me and my male co-worker to Quizno's on our lunch break and then followed me back to Trader Joe's so he could yell at me in the parking lot for going to lunch with someone else.

News Round 2:

> Survey of 12,000 doctors says that the primary care doctors are feeling overworked and are thinking about giving up medicine all together.

Got Game with the Most Mastery of Masters:

> The New Mortal Combat is apparently SICK. Masters isn't a big fan of the "3-2-1 FIGHT" games. Catwoman as massive chesticles in this game. This game is out this week. 3 Blow up girlfriends

> Gears of War 2 rules. This game is on a whole other level. Masters gave this game 4 and a half Blow up girlfriends.

> This kid and his friends were exploring the "Rath of the Litchking" when this kid went into an epileptic seizure due to lack of sleep and nutrition.

> Today is the day for the new XBOX dashboard.

What We Learned:

Ravey: Catwoman has an awesome Rack.

Tony: Woody would give a nut to go to space but greg would give 2 to stay.

Greg: The only thing cooler than a seeing eye dog is a smelling nose Ravey.

Menace: There is a KFC out there with a buffet and he needs to find it.

Woody: Raveys super nose can smell Menace's cologne but not his massive case of vaginosis.

Katie: Ravey needs tampoons, not for lady reasons, but for her nose.

Tony's Just a Headline: "Bus Accident Puts Chess Champ in Check"