Suck it PETA!

It's Hellllla raining! People of course drove 50mph, but then a cop came on the free way and JESUS H, everyone was driving 35mph. I hate that. 

Today's Intern: Mike

Bringing the Magic to you Live: Gooooooood Morning! Greg HATES the rain with a passion. Woody doesn't mind it and thinks it's ,"nice". There will be nothing but rain for the next 5 to 7 days. Everyone have those umbrellas ready. Woody gets his new bed today and he is going to take an inaugural nap. Last week, a 72 year old woman retired from her manager postition at McDonalds. Thing is, she got hired at that exact McDonalds 39 years ago. She can retire because her son won a lottery. We tried to get Menace to take off his shirt because he has been working out. This guy Francis, is claiming that he has lost 9lbs simply by flexing his taint muscles. In Las Vegas, a father, shackled his daughter because he felt like she was overweight. When they found her she was beaten and in tears. The father beat her with a wooden stick and chained her to keep her out of the kitchen. 

Dumbass Contest: How Well Do You Know The Woody Show?!

#1. Louie in San Jose - 2 for 2! Winner!!!

#2. Jake in Hayward - 0 for 2.. No Win!

#3. Steven in San Jose - 2 for 2! Winner!!

#4. Edgar in Union City - 2 for 2 Winner!!

News with Mr. Greg Gory:

> Menace's head is over heating due to steroids.

> yesterday investigators found what they think may be the remains of a bird in the engine of the plane that crashed into the Hudson

 River. 

> The American Kennel club just released its 10 favorite dogs:

1) lab

2) terrier

3) german

4) golden

5) beagle

6) boxer

7) doxen

8) bull dog

9) poodle

10) shitzu

10 Most Popular Dog Names:

10) Spatula

9) 

8) Sophie Touch and Pee

7) Scuttles Utter Fuss

6) Peanut Wiggle butt

5) Meat Wad

4) Low Jack

3) Raffie Keekie Deekie

2) Serious Lee Handsome

1) Rush Limbark

10 Most Strange Cat Names 

10) Toot Uncommon

9) Rosie Posey Prozac

8) Sparkle Monkey

7) 80 bucks

6) Miss Fuzz Butt

5) Snoop Kitty Kitty

4) Buddah Pest

3) Optimus Prrrrrime

2) Sir Licks A Lot

1) Edward Scissor Paws

Douche Bag of the Day: A man showed up at the clerks office at the water company asking for money. When the guy said, "we have no money" When the robber said, "Of course you do! It's a bank!" When the guy realized he was in a water company building, he ran, with no money. 

Ravey's Music and Entertainment

 Report: 

> Massive Snub for the Dark Knight

> Milk was nominated for Best Picture

> Green Day Fan website says that the band may be done with their next record

> CSI is on CBS

Final Word: 5 Finger Death Punch regarding the departure of their guitarist. "It was a mutual agreement between the band and Darrell, we did it as friends and we all remained friends."

They are starting to make engagement rings for guys. They would be made of a titanium band that has a tiny diamond. Cute. Menace makes the point that this is just for the ladies to keep their men on lock down. 

Sexy Time Fun Facts:

> 2 security guards from Neman Marcus were fired for having sex at work and getting caught on the security cam. They were fired and now they are having trouble getting hired anywhere 

else because the videos are posted where employers can see them. 

> A Study claims that women find love making more fulfilling if their partner is wealthy. 

Sexy Time Ask The Woody Show: This one is from Mike - Sometime ago he found an amateur porno that he is 99% sure that the girl in the movie is his ex girlfriend. If and ex shows up in one of these videos, do you point it out or never tell her??

Ravey: Definitely tell her

Greg: Angle it like he wants HER to tell him about it. "Do you have something to tell me?"

Tony: Wasn't paying attention.  Sorry Ton.

Woody: Would tell her, she needs to know

Menace: Leave it alone

Katie: I wouldn't want to know because I would be overwhelmed and focused on who had it and if it was still out there. 

The Fabulous Doug Benson is Here!!!!

He is from VH1 Best Week Ever and Super High Me and he is at Cobb's Tonight!

GET TICKETS HERE!

Text "STANDUP BENSON" to 66333 text over and over and over and over.

Also check him out at www.twitter.com/dougbenson

ALSO check him out on MYSPACE!!!!

Woody Show Would You Rather: 

> Mona or Angela - Majority went to Angela

> Facts of Life: Natalie or Jo - Majority went to Jo

> Dynasty: Linda Evans or Joan Collins - Linda Wins 

> Flinstones: Betty or Wilma - Betty wins

> Golden Girls: Bea Arther or Estelle Getty - Estelle

> Jeffersons: Weezy or The Maid - Weezy

> Rosane: Darline or Jackie - Jackie

> The Brady Bunch: Marsha or Carol (The Mom) - Marsha

> All the Family: Edith Bunker (Then) or Sally Struthers (Now) - Sally Struthers

News Round 2:

> A lady had to pay for a cab ride with her Ipod because her credit card was declined. The driver called the cops and they said she had to give him something in exchange for the drive. 

Sports with Ravey:

> Warriors lost last night to the Thunder

> Jeff Kent is going to announce his retirement from Baseball today

> The McGuire Family Secret is a book that tells all about Mark McGuire's drug use where his brother outs him.

> Tom Brady gave an interview yesterday about his knee surgery. His rehab is going 

well...There are good and bad days. There was no return time given. 

Some Burger King employees sprinkled 2 police officers burgers with marijuana. They were arrested. and after the cops went back to Burger King to get more food. Getttting!

Crap on Celebs

> Kelly Osbourne was arrested earlier this month because she slapped a gossip column writer 

> Girls Gone Wild founder is dating Kim Zolziac (who this is...I have no idea.)

> Macaulay Culkin's sister, Dakota, was struck and killed by a car in Los Angeles this week, police confirm.  The 29-year-old stepped in front of a car in West L.A. just before 11 p.m. on Tuesday and was rushed to UCLA hospital with massive head trauma, according to LAPD spokesman Richard French. She died the following day.

> Akon claims to not know how old he is. He lost track of the candles on his birthday cake, and plus in Africa, age doesn't matter. 

Porno Birthday: This slut, Brittney Andrews has been in 258 fine films including, "Terms of Enslavement",  "Tight Club", "King of the Load" she is 35!