Today's Intern: Mike
We Can't Stop Talking: Goooood Morning! Ravey is stoked about football this weekend. Ravey took her tickets and put them in her Bible. The listeners hate Menace's hair. Greg drinks 3, 20 oz. coffees a day. It is his food. Greg was held hostage by a skunk this morning. He hates them with a passion now. Tony drinks just a little less coffee than Greg. According to a research people who drink a lot of coffee or caffeine tend to hallucinate. The show is tripping balls off coffee. The 18th porta potty was set a blaze in SF yesterday. This is the 18th since November. These people are crazy. They are starting the fires by lighting the toilet paper and the thing turns into a pile of blue goo. This guy in Utah had this gun that fell out of its holster when he was pulling up his pants after taking a dump. The gun dropped, fired, and shattered the toilet. Woody then shared with us that when he takes a dump he puts his phone in his underwear hammock. Ravey lost it at this point.
We then had a slight argument about whether the Killers are saying Dancer or Denser. Tony says Denser, callers say denser, but everyone else says its "dancer"... Who Knows.
News with Greg Gory:
> There was another protest that went bad in Oakland. There were thousands who were protesting in honor of Oscar Grant. There were windows smashed and there were things destroyed. Also a town in Napa was evacuated after the parents of the cop who shot Oscar Grant found 2
unidentified packages on their porch.
> Apple has issued a statement saying that Steve Jobs is taking a leave of absence due to health reasons. Steve Jobs
sent out a letter to Apple employees today saying that his previously explained health problems are "more complex" than he at first thought, and that he plans to return in June.
> The owner of the Jets has a SUPER hot daughter who is lesbian. (This excited Greg and Tony) Apparently this banging hot chick got in a fight with her girlfriend.
Sports with Miss Ravey:
> The Warriors went 3 rounds of over time and ended up losing by 2 points. 133 to 135
> The Dallas Cowboys are toying with the idea of releasing Terrell Owens
> The New York Giants want Plaxeco Burress back next year.
> Sharks are at home tonight
> The A's plan to build a new $500,000 stadium but they are at a disadvantage because they
are coming from the least desirable environment.
Stupid Human Story: From Chicago, a man with a stutter was arrested at a Dunkin' Donuts where he used to work. When he attempted to rob the place, he held out a knife and told the cashier to hand over the money. When the cashier talked to authorities he said that he had heard the voice before and it sounded like an old co-worker.
Ask The Woody Show: This one is from Heather in SF. Went on a blind date next weekend that was set up through a mutual friend. She was having a good time until he pulled out his wallet to pay for dinner when she noticed a condom. She asked how long that had been in there and he replied, "Oh about two hours, I figured I'd rather be safe than sorry." Is this super sleezy??
Ravey: It is sleezy. Is it so hard to swing by the Walgreens?
Woody: He was being safe and honest.
Menace: Don't put condoms in your pockets, they fall out when you get your keys
Greg: He was just prepared
Tony: Agrees with the majority. He was just being prepared.
Katie: If he brought it out and hinted at it then yeah it would be sleezy, but he just had it so it's no big deal.
Listeners: Is she overreacting?
Yes: 84%
No: 16%
Ravey's Music and Entertainment Report:
> It was announced yesterday that Metallica will be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of
Fame and for the first time tickets will be available to the public.
> Coldplay, Katy Perry, and the Jonas Brothers are the first announced performers at the Grammys
> Sam Jackson will not be playing Nick Fury in Iron Man 2
> American Idol is down 10% but they still had 30.1 million viewers
> New CSI tonight
Final Word: Kevin Bacon, who lost millions because of Berny Madeoff "There are a lot of things I am thankful for. My family and their health. There are things that could be worse."
A Round of That Sucks:
> A 37 year old woman showed up at the hospital with a huge aerosol hairspray can stuck in her ass. She refused to tell the doctors how she managed to get it stuck up there but I think we have an idea.
> At the MGM Grand, David Copperfield's assistant who was rotating a fan for a stunt on a platform said he was almost sucked into the fan. He had his arm broken in several places and cut his face. When David went to visit his assistant in the hospital, he brought him a child's magic set to practice with.
> Our listener's email: This past year has sucked. My dad died at age 52, had to give up my job to run the family business, had to sell my house to help my mom pay the morgage, my wife is 7 months pregnant, my aunt just recently died, and my close friend has been diagnosed with Lymphoma. Oh man. This is horrible and we hope this person keeps their head up and gets through it.
> This guy is from Colorado, he's 48, and his name is Tim. Over the past 3 years, he had 2 divorces, his house burned down, he moved into a trailer, his dog died, his brother died, he had
to file for bankruptcy, and last Friday he got shot and died.
> Greg from Australia was spear fishing from some rocks, when a wave came, it knocked him to the ground. When he looked down he noticed the 6 foot spear was in his groin. The spear was stuck and he had to be air lifted to the hospital.
> A guy was shot in front of a pizza place, twice, at different times, in one year.
> Last Friday, police were investigating a missing persons report. A 75 year old had been missing for a couple days. This guy was a hoarder. He had so much trash and stuff in his house he had to make tunnels. Turns out one of the tunnels collapsed and he actually died of dehydration.
Dumbass Contest: The Answer Is C.
#1. Mike in Walnut Creek: 2 for 2 WINNER!
Sexy Time Fun Facts:
Pointless Poll: Does Your Partners Sexual Past Matter?
Yes: 45.7%
No: 54.3%
> A study showed that people who didn't eat breakfast lose their virginity earlier. The study also showed that people who dislike their mom lost their virginity earlier.
> You have 2 daughters, which one will lose their virginity first? This study shows that the first born girls tend to lose their virginity later than the younger siblings. Since older kids tend to align themselves with their parents, they hold off on the sex.
> This survey took place in the UK: About 1/3 of teens express regret about their first time. 1/5 of girls regret it and 38% of boys say they regret it. Teens are also much more likely to get it on during the holidays.
Do you Regret your first time??
Ravey: No
Menace: Yes
Greg: No
Tony: No
Woody: No
Katie: No
Round Number 2 of News:
> The guy who won the $500,000 in a fund raiser against rape and who was a convicted sex offender. A stranger came up and asked if he was the man who won. When the sex offender said yes, the stranger got out a tire iron and bashed the guy in the head 10 times.
> The kids with the Hitler/Aryan nation names, authorities have removed the children from the house. The parents say they don't know why the kids were taken because there was no abuse charges or reports filed.
> Authorities arrested down-and-out Indiana businessman Marcus Schrenker, 38, at a Florida campground Tuesday night after they say Schrenker faked a plane crash by issuing a phony distress call, then parachuted to safety and fled on a motorcycle he stored before his flight.
Crap on Celebrities:
> Jennifer Garner has named her new daughter Sarahfina.
> Hugh Laurie admitted that he was an arrogant teen that took a vow to never live beyond 40. They said that they would kill themselves at 40
> Kendra Wilksonsin is now out of the Playboy mansion and she admits to cheating on Hugh Hefner.
Porno Birthday: This one is Sabrina Dawn has been in 82 fine films including, "Jungle Beaver," "City Lickers," and "Grandma Does Dallas" She is 37.
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Tony's Just a Headline: "2 Men Face Charges For Penis Tattoos"
1 comment:
Great blog Katie! That Lesbian is smokin'! Hella funny ish... no "What I learned" anymore?
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