Junk Shockin!!

Worked late and almost didn't wake up on time! Yikes!!! I hate waking up in a panic, but I'm here and we're ready to go!!

Today's Intern: Andrea

We're Never Going To Stop: Gooooooood Morning!!! Greg, as usual, is hella bumbed it's Friday. Woody can't tell if he wants a bigger bed because he's getting fatter or because Jen is a crowder. Menace spends all his money the day we get paid. He hit the gym yesterday! There were hot girls everywhere and he fell off the elliptical. That's a great start Menace.  He also bought a Bowflex. Bacon is being used in deserts now. Apparently the

salt and the sweet evens out. There are a bunch of new recipes. Chocolate bacon crunch bar, maple pudding with bacon glaze, etc. Emergency crews had to cut a 700 lb man out of his house when he injured his wrist trying to get out of bed. We mentioned Half Ton Mom again. This turned into myspace talk. The fat girls with the weird angles. 

News with Greg:

> US Airways had to make an emergency landing into the freezing Hudson River. Apparently the plane flew into a flock of birds and both engines were shot. After the plane crashed, the pilot walked up and down the isles, not once, but twice. All 150

 passengers lived. This actually a good story, considering no one died and the pilot ruled! Watch the Video Here

> At the Alameda County Courthouse in Oakland, former Bart cop Johannes Meserley pleaded not guilty to the murder of Oscar Grant yesterday. Meserley's family was at the 10 minute arraignment, and Oscar Grant's mother and other friends were there wearing T-shirts that read "RIP Oscar." The two families were separated by 9 bailiffs. D.A. Tom Orloff charged Meserley with one count of murder, which legal experts are saying is a highly unusual charge against on-duty officer. The court viewed the video in which they determined that Grant's arms were clearly behind his back. Meserley is being held in Santa Rita jail without bail. He will return to court on January 26th when his bail will be determined. 

> In Hammond, Indiana, a 10 year old boy got his tongue stuck on a metal light post. The 4th grader said he was dared by a friend to lick the pole in the 10 degree weather. By the time an ambulance arrived, the boy was able to yank his tongue off the frozen pole and his mom was 

given directions on how to car for his bleeding tongue.  

Sports with the lover of flying, Miss Ravey:

> Sharks lost last night.

> Eagles are currently the favorites in Arizona

> Pittsburgh and Baltimore, this game is going to be BRUTAL

> Barry Bonds lawyer is back in the court, said that the government is intending to call athletes as apposed to trainers. 

David Alan Grier is Here:

> He appeared to be very upset about the Opera budget cuts. He told Menace to shut his pie hole here, he's already ruling. 

> He has 4, 15 - 18 lb hams hanging in his wine cellar. 

David Alan Grier Will be at Cobb's Comedy Club!!

Friday, January 16th - 8:00 pm and 10:15 pm

Saturday, January 17th - 8:00 pm and 10:15 pm

Sunday, January 18th - 7:00 pm

GET TICKETS HERE!!

David Alan Grier is on Myspace as well! Add Him!!!

Music and Entertainment Report:

> A bunch of movies hit the box office this weekend, there is a movie for everyone.

> Fox and Warner Bros. has settled their dispute over the Watchmen movie

> Sam Jackson won't be part of IronMan 2 because he is too expensive. 

> March 29th is the release date for Metallica Guitar Hero.

> NBC has renewed "The Office" and "30 Rock"

> Night Rider doesn't look like it is coming back

> 100th episode of Desperate Housewives hits this weekend

Final Word: Jeremy Piven is still defending the rumors about him faking an illness to get out the broadway play, " I've never not completed anything in my life, they pulled me out of this thing and that's the truth. "

We talked some VH1 and MTV shows. Bromance which is the lamest of the lame and Tool Academy which RULES!

Weird Women Stories:

> Some guy is filing a law suit because he feels that the amount of time that girls have to wait to use the bathroom is discrimination. This is so ridiculous

> A woman threw a meat thermometer at her boyfriend and it stuck in him.

> In India, a doctor had an unidentified  27 year old patient. She had complained of running nose, cough, and fever for 6 months. They couldn't figure out what was going on until they stuck a camera down her throat to find that she had a condom lodged in her lungs.

 

Poll Question: Is women having to wait in line for the bathroom and men not having to

 discrimination?

Yes: 6%

No: 94%

Woody: No Way.

Ravey: Thinks Woody is just bashing women because he loves to hate women, she's being a raging bitch today.

Dumbass Contest: Menace Shock (GREATEST CONTEST EVER)

#1. Berney in San Jose: 0 for 2

#2. Jason in San Jose: 0 for 2

#3. David in Cambel: 2 for 3 WINNER!!

What is The One Thing You Won't Do in Front of Someone?:

Woody: Pick a wedgie and vomit

Ravey: Hock a loogie and talk on the phone.

Tony: Vomiting.

Greg: Can't Poop. Doesn't want people to even know that he does that. 

Menace: Poop in front of someone or farting.

Katie: Pick at zits or blow your nose. 

News Round 2:

> President Bush gave us his farewell address last night. It was a 13 minute speech that looked back over his 8 years in office. He talked about the many achievements, like declaring Afghanistan and Iraq foreign policy successes. 

> President elect Obama was interviewed by Katie Couric on Wednesday night. Obama says its no longer essential to U.S. Security to capture Osama Bin Laden.

> In Spain, a prison guard's union said a female stripper performed at a Spanish jail and authorities did nothing to stop it. The stripper did her thing in front of the male inmates. An official penitentiary system called it an inappropriate musical performance and said an investigation will be done to find out who authorized it. 

The Hat Lady Liberal Jan Wahl is Here!!:

> The Wrestler got 3 hats. This is the one that Tony wanted to cry during.

> She liked the Slumdog Millionaire movie. The first half was tough to get through but the second half was awesome!

> Next week is the Oscar Nominations.

Crap on Celebs:

> Johnny Knoxville was detained yesterday at LAX for having a grenade, but there was no explosive pin to pull. 

> Bara Grills had their third child, Huckleberry Grills

> Will Farrell is on broadway doing a play about President Bush. 

Porno Birthday: Her name is Shelby Stevens. This super slut has appeared in 251 fine films including "Clock Work Orgy". She is 40.