The Woody Show: MMMMM....Sardines.

This weather is freaking me out. It was windy as hell, but warm..... in January. Really? It's unfortunate that I have made it a habit to drink at least 2 Red Bulls by 11:00am. BUT they are just so good I can't help myself.

Today's Intern: Jessica

Kids Suck, Here's Why: Goooooood Morning! It is Wednesday! Who's home city does this one belong to?: A flyer headline, "Why I Hate Black History Month" was sent home with a bunch of students because it was about how it shouldn't just be February, but it should be all year. There were so many complaints, that the flyer was soon changed to "Why I Love Black History Month." That's right, its from St. Louis. That's funny, 3/4 of the students were black. There is a new IPhone app where it is like a foggy window and you can write in the steam, like you're writing with your finger in a foggy mirror or window. Yeah, these dorks who made the app have already made $100,000. When a fight broke out at Patterson High School, police and school officials put the school on lock for 4 hours. Students who had to use the bathroom either held it or used the trash can. To make sure that the bathroom never happened again, the school authorities spend $1400 to put a portable bathroom kit in each class, complete with folding toilet, seat covers, and a privacy tarp. Imagine Menace being stuck in that situation. Tony pooped at work yesterday. This started a whole caca talk. Tony shared a sweet story with us. Dean was eating the other day and he decided to change his own diaper without taking it off. He reached into his diaper and pulled out a hand full of caca. Woody, good luck dude. Ravey had a similar story, her nephew did the same thing but she couldn't get to him fast enough, and it was used as paint. Caca paint. This is the point when Woody said, "F that, I'd throw the wall away." Now onto fat people. A Kansas woman told the news that her local hospital sent her to the zoo for a MRI because she wouldn't fit in their machine. Too fat to adopt, authorities told a British that he couldn't adopt a kid because he was too fat. He has to lose weight in order to adopt because he is unhealthy and unfit to be a parent.

Ask The Woody Show: This one is from Nick

in Los Gatos, for the past few months all his girlfriend talked about was how bad she wanted to join a gym but she didn't want to spend the money. For her Christmas present he bought her a year membership, when he gave her the present, she FLIPPED. Did he do something

wrong??

Ravey: That's a horrible present, if she wanted it, she'd get it.

Menace: Women suck. Basically sums up what he said.

Greg: Not for Christmas, get her it for some other thing.

Woody: If she hadn't been talking about it, it would have been bad, but considering she was talking about it so that's ok.

Tony: It's fine, she asked for it. Should have gotten her something else along with it.

Katie: If it is all he got her that kinda sucks, but she was always talking about it, PLUS it's expensive, he wasn't trying to hurt her feelings.... It's a toss up.

Listeners: Was This Messed Up?

Yes: 14.3%

No: 85.7%

Douche Bag of the Day: This guy, Nicoli, is suing Hooters because they refuse to hire men. It's called HOOTERS..... HOOTERS = BOOBIES. Dumbass.

All Menace thinks about is food. Wherever we say we're going to go, he gives us a restaurant recommendation. 99% of Menace's twitters are pictures of food.

Jake in Pacifica called in with a sweet story. Last night on American Idol, one of the contestants, who was blind, got through to Hollywood. When the man walked out of the audition, Ryan Seacrest walked up to him and tried to high five him. Watch it Here!

News with Greg Gory:

> The bart cop who was involved in the shooting on New Years was arrested on homicide charges yesterday. He is also on suicide watch. Grants family is suing for $25,000,000.

> An off duty police officer was waiting in line at Walmart

when a kid cut in line. The cop told the kid that he

has to wait his turn, the dad of the kid then came and said, "Mind your own business or we can settle this outside." The cop says that he's a cop and that he'll have an on duty cop come down and take care of it. The line cutters left and got in their vans and the cop stood behind the van so they couldn't leave.

The dad backed the van up over the cops legs, after that the kid got out and started to fight the cop. Retards.

> American Idol is suing a strip club for having a "Stripper Idol" contest.

Sports with Ravey:

> The Sharks destroyed the Lightning

> The Magic scored 23 - 3 pointers last night

> The Warriors play tonight

> Steelers are officially the favorites to win the Superbowl

> Plaxeco Burress will be in court today on another matter. He leased a Chevy in 2004 and it ended up being impounded during a shooting and the dealership never got it back.

Music and Entertainment Report:

> Jennifer Hudson will be returning to the stage for the first time since her family was killed

> Jackie Chan is in negotiations to play Mr. Miyagi and Will Smith's kid will play the karate kid.

> Wall-E was ranked as the top movie of last year

> Arrested Development movie is in play.

> American Idol continues tonight

> LOST returns next week

> Night Rider will be on NBC

Final Word: Naomi Watts, who is back in shape after being pregnant. "I'm breast feeding and he's sucking it all out of me."

There is a New Kids On The Block cruise you can go on. Menace is stoked to hang out with the

guys.

Hard Core Restaurant News:

> On Sunday, 2 - 22 year old guys busted into a sushi restaurant with guns. The guys first decided to hit the tip jar. At this point 8 waiters with sushi knives attacked the robbers and made them regret their decision. They stabbed him and he was rushed to the hospital but died a few hours later.

> Last year, a couple decided to take their relationship to the next level and commit some crimes together. They caught wind of the fact that an owner of a restaurant leaves with

$30,000. The couple was going to rob the guy, when they tried to get the guy to hand over the bag and he said no, the boy got out his gun and accidentally shot his girlfriend in her hip. The owner dropped the bag and ran. Turns out, the bag was actually filled with bread rolls. Oh yeah, and the couple broke up.

> A couple were stretching out their meal over 5 hours. The waiter was bringing them their desert when they decided to leave, with out paying their $400 bill. The owner wished to God that he'd see them again. Well he got his wish. Later, he went to his other restaurant when he saw the other couple ordering ANOTHER expensive meal. When the tried to leave, the owner

chased them, beat the guys ass, and held him until the cops got there.

> This guy must really love his job. Last week, a 45 year old waiter from Boston was working the late shift at the Z Square. Around 3:00 am he stepped outside of the restaurant for a second, and he was approached by 2 black men in their 20's. One guy asked him for a dollar but the waiter said he didn't have any money. The guy grabbed him and the other man pulled out a switchblade and stabbed the waiter in the penis. The waiter went in the bathroom, tied a cloth to his junk, and finished his shift out for 2 more hours.

> The owners of a Florida Pita Pit have launched an extensive investigation after a chair was stolen from the restaurant. According to the owner the theft took place in broad daylight. "Who steals a chair from the Pita Pit?"

The Most Unappreciated Jobs:

> Menace's dream job, a desert developer. This lady sits in her office and tastes different puddings all day long.

> An Australian Company is announcing that they need a care taker of a private island. The job entails: A daily blog, cleaning the pool, feeding the fish, getting the mail, and maintaining the 3 bedroom house that the company provides you. The job only requires you to work for 6 months a year, all of your living costs are paid for, and the salary is $106,000

> The 7 Most Unpopular Jobs

7. High School Lunch Ladies

6. Grocery Store Shelf Stockers

5. Road Kill Cleaner Upers

4. Over Night Pharmacist

3. Road Construction Workers

> 5 Least Desired Jobs:

5. Lawyer

4. Advertising Professional

3. Musician

2. Journalist

1. Actor

> 5 Most Desired Jobs

5. Home Worker

4. Tech Specialist

3. Scientist

2. Doctor

1. Teacher

News with Greg Round 2:

> In Laguna beach a couple was sitting on a pier eating ice cream. A seagull came down and tried to eat the ice cream and it hit the wife in the head. The guy started beating the hell out of the bird with a stick. It had to be put down, problem is, the bird was on a protected animals list and the man was cited on animal cruelty

This started chicken talk. We decided that we are going to bring a chicken into the studio, dress Tony up as a chicken, make him chase a chicken, and it's going to RULE!!

Happy Happy Story Time: Ozzy the 5 year old dog was watching the family play Wii. They then hit the dog on accident with the Wii controller in the temple and killed it instantly.

Got Game With Steve Masters:

> There is like a Photoshop for your Wii.

> There is a speculum for Web Bush has found that there will be a $100 price drop on the PS3

> They lost me here, we were giving away games.

Dumbass Contest: Woody Show Jepordy!