Today's Intern: Miss Jessica
Menace, Get off your IPhone.: Goooooood
Mornnnning! We all hate Howie Mandel. He had an irregular heartbeat and had to RUSH to the hospital. We thought he died. He didn't. Damn. Maybe someone shook his hand and he freaked out. Woody hates it when he really wants someone to be super nice, and they end up being a C. Ravey is the person who always wins. Every single time! Woody had a pretty good theory. There are eyes in the sky in casinos and they select who wins. Ravey fits that profile apparently. There are some people who go, "She looks nice, she wins."
Ask the Woody Show: This one is from SJ408grl - She's not proud of it but she hooked up with a guy who is friends with her boyfriends best friend. She doesn't remember what he looks like or anything that happened. They are meeting for coffee this week. So, what if he brings up something that happened that night she doesn't remember? Does she act along with it? What if he's heinous? How do I get out of seeing him again? and most importantly, What is her slut rating? 1 - 10
-- He won't bring up what happened, that would be a little strange. If he's ugly, just don't call him again. And for the most important part, the slut ratings.
Woody - Slut rating 10
Tony - Slut rating 6 (He keeps lowering his vote. I lost track after the 3rd switch, so we'll say between 4 and 6)
Greg - Slut rating 5
Menace - Slut rating 9.5
Ravey - Slut rating 11
Katie - Slut rating 10
Listeners: We have a tie. 20.9% for both 5 and 10
News With Greg:
> Obama is going to issue and order possibly on his first day in office to shut down Guantanamo Bay.
> Daniel Patrick has been found guilty for murder after he killed his mother and injured his father after they took Halo 3 from him. This kid is a douche bag. He now faces life in prison. Good, rot you piece of
crap.
> A couple in their mid 20's have been ordered to stay away from each other after a fight over Christmas gifts. The guy was mad at his girlfriend because his lady got him a Wii rather than the remote controlled airplane that he asked for. This ended in them physically fighting.
Sports with Ravey:
> Ricky Henderson and Jim Rice were elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame
> Tony Dunche announced his retirement, he finishes his 13 years as head coach.
> Josh McDaniels is the new head coach of the Broncos
> Tampa Bay Lightning take on the Sharks tonight at the Tank
American Idol is back tonight and I have a feeling it is
going to suck. They are stopping the humiliation (I.E. the
only cool part of the show) segments where they show the people who suck. There is a new judge and a new "Wild Card" round, where you can win your way back into the competition.
Music and Entertainment Report:
> No good CD's or Movies you need to know about.
> U2, Beyonce, Usher, Will.I.Am, etc will perform at the inauguration
> Britney Spears is a rumor artist for Cochella.
> Taylor Swift is going to guest star on CSI tonight.
> American Idol returns tonight with a new judge....some girl Kara...
> 2 new episodes of Scrubs
Final Word: Kid Rock who is never going to be seeking treatment for his issues, "I don't understand rehab, if it works for some people, God bless them."
The writer for Van Halen wasn't meaning to be rude back in the day. They claim that the outrageous requests were just a test to see if the promoters were paying attention. So the request for only brown m&ms was just a test to see if they were paying attention to
EVERYTHING.
HUGE NEWS: There is a Chipotle Application for the IPhone where you can order your food on the phone and go to pick it up. Oh wait, this just magically disappeared off the internet. Thanks Menace.
We had a song about pooping at work. Check out the video HERE
Who Knew??:
> There is an article about 3rd hand smoke. This is from the particles that sticks to clothing and furniture.
> When the holiday is over the Rockafeller Tree has to go somewhere! It will be turned into lumber.
> The Salvation Army has a rule where if you are part of the army you must marry someone who is in the army as well.
> People with bedtime snoring and breathing problems have a higher weight loss rate. This burns 33% more calories.
> According to a new study, the average printer tells you to change the ink cartridge while the
cartridge is still 40% full.
> Teen boys who are either gay or bisexual are much more likely to knock up a girl rather than a straight boy.
> Researchers used ultra sound scans to prove that the g-spot actually exists but problem is, 3 in 4 women do not have one.
> 5 things men don't know about women
1. Women can get blue balls
2. Female mechanics make more than male mechanics
3. 1 in 10 women have never had an orgasm
4. Women buy more cars than men.
5. Women prefer unfaithful partners have meaningless sex
Dumbass Contest: The Sardine Down (Eating Contest)
#1. Marion from Fremont: Went with Greg! WINNER!
#2. Miguel in San Jose: Went with Menace!
Basically, Tony enjoyed, Greg manned up and ate it, and Menace pussed out and puked the whole time.
HOTTIE ALERT!: Wang Gulying from China is a 107 year old who just announced that she is finally ready to tie the knot.
Pointless Poll: What would you do if you knew you would never get caught doing it??
Ravey: Wants to go Oceans Eleven on a Casino
Menace: Would rob Bill Gates
Greg: Tie Alec Baldwin to a chair and punch him all day
Tony: He'd kill someone.
Woody: He'd kill someone as well.
Katie: I'd hurt/kill Nancy Pelosi
News Round 2:
> Bart officials have finished their investigation of the shooting on New Years. They haven't decided if they are going to charge the cop or not.
> Researchers found that getting 8 hours of sleep a night will help you not get a cold.
> A 36 year old man agreed to sell his 14 year old daughter into a marriage with an 18 year old for 100 cases of beer, several cases of meat, and $16,000. When the 18 year old refused to pay up, the father called the cops, told them about the arranged marriage, and tried to get his daughter back. The cops ended up arresting him and he is now in jail.
Crap on Celebrities: (We're so Luffffy)
> Danny Bonaduce will be back on Celebrity Boxing
> Ryan Seacrest got dissed by Brad and Angelina. He talked about it, he said that he doesn't think that they would even know who he was.
> Jennifer Love Hewitt was granted a restraining order against a man who was 60 years old and who has been stalking her since 2007.
Porno Birthday: Tasha Voux this slut has been in 189 fine films including "Romancing the Bones".... She is 51!
The box of crackers that Deborah bought at the store had an envelope with $10,000. Fabulous. Lucky Bitch. The woman called the cops and found it belonged to some elderly woman who returned the box by mistake. The old lady never contacted Deborah or gave her a reward.....That C.
Stupid Human Story: 1) This lady took her 2 kids over to the store to steal stuff. The ironic thing is that she stole a book called "How to be a Great Mom"
2) A lady stole a key chain and when she was arrested, she claimed that she was going into labor. Problem was, she wasn't pregnant.
Greg changed his answer for the pointless poll: He wants to shoot a bazooka at the Foo Fighters plane so he never has to hear their songs EVER EVER EVER AGAIN. He screamed a little here. It was kinda hilarious.
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Tony's Just a Headline: "No Happy Ending In Massage Parlor Heist."
3 comments:
I missed the show today. It was funny to read the when i woke up. Nice job Katie!
kudos for smokin hot kaite. greg shouldnt be mad at the foo fighters. is better to be pissed off than pissed on.
Katie, you da Man! Not really, the woMan. Great blog!!
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