Bahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Partied "Hardy" style last night. How I made it here...I have no idea. I have a Vitamin Water, coffee, and an energy drink in front of me. This is going to be a kickass morning.

Today's Intern: Hyphy Mike

Blah, Blah, Blah....: It's Thursday, which is awesome. We got an update on Ravey's ring: an investigation is underway. They called her again, they wanted to establish a timeline, and wanted a better description of the ring. We have a picture of Ravey with a purse (yeah I said it, a purse. Menace claims its a slut purse because it could only carry condoms and makeup) where she is wearing the ring. We'll get to the bottom of this. There was some "beat up massively huge super skank" who was apparently wearing a pink sweater who got on Menace's case for wearing jeans....biotch. This woman was gloating about her sexual skills. gross. We established the better lookin the girl, the less slutty she is because she doesn't need to be. But the uglier the girl, the more she needs to fight to get laid therefore making her a sluuuuuut. Some linebacker girl was trying to get at Greg...luckkkkkyyyyyyy. At the wedding rehearsal Tony and the other groomsmen were playing "I wouldn't F her even if"-- The winning one was "I wouldn't F her even if the cure for aids was in her Vagina." Tony made a dumb comment....yeah its true....shocking I know. We heard the Ravey snoring clip.

Woody's dream of being an air traffic controller got killed yesterday...he's too old.

The Newsiest News Ever (Lets dive into this ish):
> Someone was able to hack a yahoo email account owned by Sarah Palin. She used this email for business and some of the emails were posted on the internet. A group called annonymus took credit.....which isn't credit but whatever.
> At the Republican convention a 29 year old delagate got robbed of $120,000. Who carries that much money? dumby.
> Sagging pants is no longer acceptable in Riviera Beach, Florida...sagging is simply unconstitutional.
> The Hells Angels leader who got killed, was killed by a dude who lives with his parents.

Sports with Miss Ravey:
> Raiders still have a head coach but are down a couple of running backs.
> Vikings have started 0 and 2 and have benched their starting quarterback.
> The Giants lost last night 7 to 6
> Crazies at the A's Game, who won last night

We had some drunken A's game talk. Yes 2 of my friends are in Jail.

Dumbass Contest: Metallica High Low with a dash of Vending Machine Bingo.
> #1 Jesse from Ceres - 2 outta 3 For the Win!! This luckyyy guy gets to play Vending Machine Bingo as well. He choses D-8 and he gets Nestle Crunch Bar. He chose the Tiger Woods PGA 09 Game for the XBOX 360!!
Some stupid tattoo talk. Bar Codes?? Really?? Who does that?

New Show on NBC- Show called lost in the 80's. Its an 80's version of the Wonder Years! I'm on board with that!

Sexy Time Fun Facts:
> 3 in 4 women will get a yeast infection in her life.
> Tips for overcoming embarassing moments
1) Hurt someone? Kiss the injured body part and make it better
2) Have to pee? Use the bathroom when you have too.
3) Body makes a weird noise? Laugh it off
4) Dirty talk not working? YOU start talking like you like it.
5) Bad Breath? Be honest and give them a mint
6) Drunk and Sick? Just pass out and send flowers in the morning
7) Naughty toys take a bad turn? Call 911 and deal with it.

Sexy Time Poll Question: What is something you did that you thought would be cool but it ended up all bad?

> Heating Lube
> Whipped Cream
> Position 54...look it up.
> Icy Hot on Genitals
> Altoids before oral
> Tounge Rings

News Round 2:
> A guy is facing charges for helping his friend commit suicide

Josh Howard dissed the "Star Spangled Banner" during a charity flag football game. Greg doesn't like dahhhht.

What We Learned:
Woody: Letting a random whore pour you a drink while you're wearing a $30,000 watch isn't a good idea
Tony: Learned that wiping the wrong way is much like spacling
Ravey: Learned that she never wants to ride folliculitus up the hill.
Greg: Learned that the Sound of Music isn't about folliculitus
Menace: Learned he has to look up position 54
Katie: Menace can't go anywhere without his leatard.

Tony's Just a Headline: Man Drowns in Lawn Mower Accident.