Blog-o Numero Uno

My alarm went off (or so I thought), took a shower, decided to check to see how much time I had to get ready only to find that it was 2:15...got to love that. Menace has already threatened to beat my ass (joking). This is going to be an awesome day and a great week. I can feeeeeeel it.

Today's Intern: Miss Jessica

Early morning chit chat: We're late, oh well. No one is excited except Greg because its Monday!! Outside Lands was nuts and a complete mess, people knocked the fences down and Menace got stung by hornets. Ouch. Live 105 had a drawing for employees for Outside Lands tickets. Winners: Madden and Miles. It was total shenanigans....apparently if you miss the deadline you have a better chance of winning around here. Paul from Sunnyvale called in, won tickets on Madden's show and ended up selling them for $400. The Olympics are the reason that the past couple weeks have gone by so quick....I guess.

THIS WEEK ON THE WOODY SHOW WIN TICKETS TO THE TREASURE ISLAND MUSIC FESIVAL ON SATURDAY-SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 20-21!!

Ravey's Weekend involved "shedding" tears and got the title of worst weekend ever because: A. The Olympics ended and B. Outside Lands was chaos and her hip hurt. Tony says: "wah."

Lets get some Olympic Coverage!!:
> David Beckam made an appearance at the Olypics and kicked soccer balls off a double decker bus...totally liability problem
> 2012 is when the excitment begins next time around.
> A fighter got pissed that he got disqualified so he kicked the ref in the face. His coach got banned for life. haha this makes me laugh
> Cry baby wrestler who threw a fit was right? His beef was totally legit and it cost him the medal. Stupids.
> Aside from the opening murder to the olympics, everything ran pretty smoothly....
> Woody is still jealous of what phelps eats everyday
> That volley ball chick wears that tape for about 100 reasons.

Sexy time Fun Olympics Fact:
> After the 100,000 condom hand out - less than 1/3 of them had been used by this Saturday. In previous olympics they have been known to "blow through" (haha pun...totally intended) 130,000 condoms. Dahts a lota sex.
> Men think that gymnists have the sexiest outfits and 2 & 3 men think that gymnists would be the best in bed.

News Comin' at ya:
> Obama chose his running mate, Senator Joe Biden. Luck-eeee. They made their appearance on Saturday and showered eachother with compliments. No homo.
> Italian priest is going to organize an online pagent for nuns "Miss Sister"... Woody wants largest bush competition. Gross. Starts next month on a blog where you can view the nuns profiles. Hawwwwwwwwwt.
> 25 yr old in Bang-la-desh went into a pond to be blessed. Little did he know that it was a pond full of crocadiles where he was grabbed and pulled down and well....died. duh. I missed who said it but apparently someone said that the crocadiles are usually nice. Like puppies giving children kisses on their cheeks.

Sports Round 1:
> Olypics over. US on top with 110 medals. China had the most golds. First time since 1936 that someone other than US or Soviet led with gold
> Giants swept Padres over the weekend
> A's ended splitting their 4 game series with seattle
> This segment is really hard to follow. I'm tryin I'm tryin.
> New york Giants got horrible news, best defencive end tore his ACL. ouch
> Bangles quarterback Carson Palmer (sp?) broke his nose. He'll be back for the regular season.
> Raiders didnt score....big surprise

Dumbass Contest: The Nickname Match Game
Prize: Tickets to Treasure Island Music Festival! Woot Woot.
Caller #1: Jason in Richmond - No win. :-(
>Oj Simpson - Juice
Caller #2: Bill in Mountain View
>Irvine Johnson - Magic Johnson
>Dwane Johnson - The Rock ----FOR THE WIN!

**I missed some stuff here...taking winner, phones ringing. You know....*

Tony Moving Intervention:
Shouldn't move to Daily City. There are so many reasons. Primary one being that he's not Philipino.
Steven in Daily City says that it is the most depressing city ever. Winter in Summer. Car gets broken into 3 times a year at least, and insurance went up when he moved.
DON'T DO IT TONY!!!! FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS MOVE TO DAILY CITY!!!
On the other hand, Greg thinks that Tony should move because he deserves some misery every once in a while.

*Side Note : I love the new Metallica...end of story.*

Wheel of Topics:
> A one-legged hooker was killed in Brooklyn after a john hit her over the head, causing her to fall backwards out of her wheelchair and slam her head against the wall. This proves the point of "any woman can get laid"
> A California woman who escaped from a Michigan prison more than 30 years ago and remade her life as a suburban mother of three is "extremely uncomfortable" back behind bars and wants to move the case through the courts as quickly as possible
> How will prisons handle the TV switch. They are converting to Digital TV in January. Oh the horror. Convicts spend about 6 hours a day in front of the tube and the toughest inmates spend 8 hours a day.
> Florida- Police trying to find a man who attacked a club DJ. The man attacked the DJ and cut his eyes out. Needless to say, he's blind now.
> Washington woman arrested for beating up her fiance at their prenup party. WTF? Womans 12 year old son told her that she saw her fiance kissing one of her friends. The woman kicked everyone out and started socking the fiance in the face and tackling him like a football player.
*This story led to a discussion about prenups and why or why not to get them*
> To get out of an arranged marriage to a 75 year old man, a 16 year old Saudi girl drank a bottle of bleach. She still had to marry the guy, bummer.
> The rumor that Dolly Parton died is a lie. She's fine.

*Check out last weeks Non Sequiturs Podcast...one of the all time greats!!*
"Anything watermellon is sellin"

Katie's Random Update: I just cut my hand on the chair. Who gets hurt being a phone screener????? I'm such a doof...anyways back to the show.

Ravey's Music and Entertainment Report:
> Tropic Thunder #1 in the box office took in $65 million in its first 12 days, House Hunny took in $15.1 Million. hella bills son.
> Democratic national convention gets underway tonight.
> Tom Morrello has no interest getting more into national politics.
> Chris Cornell has set Sep 23 as the release date for his CD
> All networks will be covering Democratic Convention
> MTV premiers Super Sweet 16 Exile show. Good put those bitches to work.
Final Word: Director Kevin Smith says all the hype about Watchmen and he says its "astounding"

Stupid Politics Stories:
> McCain doesn't know how many homes he owns. Smartass answer to a smartass question.
> Obama launched a TV add that said that McCain is "out of touch with Americans"
> Hissing Cockroach race-- McCain-Roach won while Obama-Roach didn't leave the starting line.
> Clinton's name will be placed in the nomination during the state by state roll call. She will release her delegates to Obama...whatever that means.
> Obama leading McCain 47% to 42% in the race, but more people have viewed McCains Youtube...
> Obama's campaign says there are 8 million unregistered black voters. So they are hanging out in barber shops to "bread the word"
> KKK hopes that Obama wins as a sign that the country has lost all control
> McCain and Obama have revealed show biz favorites. Both's favorite is Batman for Comic book hero. They have both seen Shrek 3. McCain remembers back to Bambi.---There we're a few more but the phones started ringing. Apologies

Tony blesses us with this quote--"McCain, bitch better have my money"

News Comin at Cha Again:
> New law in Nebraska- allows parents to abandon children without question. Not just new bornes....you can make up your mind to drop off your kid until their 19. awesome.
*this led to annoying kid stories. Whining girl on the plane for Woody. Tony knows a girl who whines/sings when she talks...etc.*
> Authorities in Texas will be able to track kids who are skipping school because the kids will now be wearing ankle bracelets with GPS tracking devises in them. ACLU does not laik dahhht.

Woody got Greg a present: Bucket free carwash. Greg said "You can Suck it Hard" then followed by taking it with a slight sign of excitement.

Random Stories:
> Kidnappings in Mexico have increased 43%, Menace claims that the price of gas is the reason. Anyways, parents are having GPS chips implanted in their kids so they can keep track of them. I think that is a great idea. To find more check out: http://www.verichipcorp.com/

POINTLESS POLL:
Would you chip your kids with a tracking device?
52% Yes
48% Negative
According to Jennifer in San Jose "It's a Gov't Conspiracy"

Crap on Celebrities:
> Sunshine Tut and Chris Kattan has now separated after 8 weeks of marriage
> Jason Lee has a 5 yr old named Pilot Inspector and just had another child who's name hasn't been released yet. God speed to that child.
> K. Kardashian- K as in Khloe is on board for Celebrity Aprentice
> David Blane next high profile stunt is to turn himself into a real life Batman. He will hang upside down for 3 days and nights.

For Reals List for Dancing with the Stars:
Lance Bass (not dancing with a dude)
Kim Kardashian
Warren Sapp
Brooke Burke
Cody Linley
Jeffery Ross
Maurice Greene
Toni Braxton
Susan Lucci
Misty May-Treanor
Mark McGrath
Cloris Leachman
Jeff Ross
Ted McGinley

Celebrity birthdays and the Celebrity Birthday Game:
Rachel Bilson - 27
Rolly Fingers - 62
Monte Hall - 87
Bill PArcel -67
Kobe Bryant - 30
Serj Tankyan - 31
Rachel Ray - 40
Billy Ray Cyrus - 47
Tim Burton - 50
Gene Simmons - 59
Regis Philbun - 77
Sean Connery - 78
Dave Chappel - 35
*I missed a few...and some of these aren't spelled right. Myyyy bad.*
The Win once again goes to Ravey!!

Porno Birthday- Misty Rain who appeared in 299 fine films is 39

What We Learned Today:
Woody: Daily City is the new Treasure Island
Tony: Learned that prison is not comfy.
Ravey: Jesus is one lucky dude because he is married to all those sexy nuns
Menace: Mountain people are crazy and no one is getting laid in China
Greg: Hornets will kill your fun at Outside Lands
Katie: Tony didn't skip school...he just skipped classes.

Tony's Just a Headline: "Giant Turd Escapes and Brings Down Power Lines"