Caca....

Not only was it hella hot last night, It was 80 degrees on my way here. 80 degrees...at 4:30AM....craziness. I forgot to cut out the security tag on my shirt, it itches, and I can't find any scissors. crap.

Today's Intern: Mike and Ike

Talk talk talk talk: Tony right off the bat was captain cranky pants. Super excited that today is Thursday, because that means tomorrow is Friday. Ravey is already in vaca mode because she is off tomorrow. Ravey is part of "White Trash Tour '08". Woody isn't nervous about the wedding yet. Probably because Tony and Woody are Ro-bots. Jen will be in for Ravey tomorrow. Greg has saved a triangle of cake from his wedding that has moved with him 3 times. Girl on the rag+ wedding right around the corner = psycho chick. Hella wedding talk. Jen thinks she's losing her mind. Ohhhhh holy crap. Menace still doesn't know what he is going to wear to the wedding. Jen's going to flippppp. Bride-zilla talk. Ravey needs to know NOW who she is going to be sitting with and it better be written in a damn good font. Menace would consider going gay but the sex hurts too much.

THIS WEEK ON THE WOODY SHOW: TICKETS TO THE TREASURE ISLAND MUSIC FESTIVAL @ TREASURE ISLAND :: SATURDAY-SUNDAY :: SEPTEMBER 20-21!!

--Dumbass Contest Idea: Will it flush with Greg's old wedding cake. Or sling shot the cake down the street and see if it breaks the window of a parked car--

**Most retarded text of the week: From the 707 - "quit effing snorting Woody, you Howard wanna be" -- He then responds to Woody by saying "Howard snorts, You snort. Howard gets married, You get married." TARRRRRDDSSSS.**

Stories of Some For Reals Sick-o's:

> Utah, a man known as "diaper boy" was arrested for showing the diaper he is wearing to children.

> Florida, 18 year old lost custody of his dog because of signs of beastyality. They also found videos of little girls having sex with older men and him having sex with the dog. The boy claimed that it only happened once but the mom claims that he has done it 4 times. Its simple....keep penis out of dog.

Hella News-y News with Greg:

> Denver - 3rd night of DNC. Bill Clinton gave a speech. It took him about 10 minutes to get the crowd to shut up because he was SOOOOO cheer worthy. Biden took the opprotunity to slam McCain. Duh.

> There were ads for Obama's campaign on rock radio stations. The ads were pulled due to their appearance next to racey topics such as "Thong of the Day" and "Chicks on Toilets"

*This sparked a huge talk on chicks on toilets*

http://www.hotchicksontoilets.com/

> Baby boy in Bangladesh born with 2 heads and had been under police guard due to 150,000 people who wanted to see him.

> According to Zaggit. Best tippers are from Phillidelphia.

Sports

> A's actually won

**Callers started calling and I couldnt hear it. Like I can keep up with her anyways...**

Happy, Happy Story:

::Charlotte, police said a man and his wife left the keys and children in the car. While the woman went to get the spare keys, the man went up to the appartment to get a knife to pry the window open to get the kids out. When he was going back to the car, he fell down the stairs, landed on the knife, and died. YAYYYYYYY!!!::

Wheel of Topics: Stupid things people blow $$ on

> Tom Brady - $11,000,000 on land--no house....just land.

> Menace-
> Tony - Bought really good seats to Lenny Kravitz show and hotel for a chick. The girl bailed. So Tony took a girl he didn't even like and banged her because it was $16 bucks for a night.

> Callers with stories of buying cars, sex excursions, child support, etc...

> Greg- bought a 3 stone ring for a 5th annaversary

> Ravey - A guy bought her hockey tickets on the glass.


Music and Entertainment Report:

> Kid rock said that he dropped out of a music festival because he was sick, but the real reason was because the people there "treated him like F"

> Kid with a code name "squirrel" leaked 9 Guns and Roses songs. He was arrested and may be facing charges

> Michael Phelps is hosting the 34th premiere of SNL, and will be introducing Lil Wayne.
> NBC's coverage of the olympics had 214,000,000 making it the most watched event in TV history

> ABC is pushing pies to promote "Pushing Daisies"

Final Word: Spokesperson for Hillary Duff says she's not engaged

Sexy Time Fun Facts:

> Text from yesterday from the 925: Went on a break with the boyfriend, had sex with another guy, and now misses the boyfriend and wants him back.

*Ravey and Menace throw down--hilarity-- Ravey has nothing to say other than Menace sucks*

> Teens are taking Abstinence Pledges- 42% who said it but didnt pledge, had sex w/in 3 yrs anyways. Only 33% of people who took the pledge ended up having sex.

> Ron Jeremy- has been with thousands of women. Says that Viagra is the key.

> Don't take Viagra when you have Hemorrhoids.

Tony Siting: Tony -1 Madden-0

Sexy Time Fun Facts Part 2:

> Hetroflexable - Girls who swing and kiss other girls. Blamed on Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl"

> Border Patrol Agents are going to start seizing products that claim enhance, stretch, and add recreate naughty parts.

Dumbass Contest: Super Horny Japanese Ravey

Intern said provocative phrases about Ravey in Japanese

#1. Michelle in SF - Durrrr.....Effing Moron...good god.

#2. Don in Castro Valley - Chose C Ravey gets horny around Homeless people.

Menace's picture with the make up made us all cry with laughter.

Sorry the pic is such bad quality...but hell, you get the idea.

Newsalicious News with Greg:
> Del Martin - 87 lesbian rights activist. Died yesterday.

> New pole- Says Californians oppose PROP 8

> Girl got removed from her checking position at Abercrombie and Fitch because she didn't meet the physical requirements. She got a 0 on the face test.

> Woman misunderstood instructions and ended up riding the convayer belt at the airport instead of putting her luggage on there.

Crap on Celebs:

> Shug socked his girlfriend in the head, and when she jumped out of the car, he went after her and chased her. Crazzy

> Matthew McConaughey Dad died during sex and his mom wrote a book about it.

> DJ Sam Ronson is writing a book. Lindsay Lohan's dad is pissed saying that she is using Lindsay.

> Seinfelds - Ruth Cohan died of a heart attack

Crappy B-Days

> Leann Rymes - 26

> Jason Presley - 39

> Jack Black - 39

> Jennifer Coolage - 53

Porno B-Day : Taylor Wade - 40

What We Learned:

Woody: From Tony that Friday is the day that comes after Thursday.

Tony: Greg refuses to flush a piece of cake

Ravey: Menace is prettier than her with make- up

Menace: Ravey is taking the white trash tour for rock band

Greg: Menace's hero is the late great Tammy Fay Baker

Katie: Tony learned that chicks sit to pee and Menace's weiner broke in the 89' quake.

Tony's Just a Headline: Dad Chops off Son's Hand in Banana Fight